I took out the lasers from this on line novel...

For most of humynkinds history I have led slave revolts, started religions, or steered them, was an acolyte to your holy men.appearing at times as an Angel, a burning bush.... I am not an angel. Angels can fall. I cannot fall. I earned my position by being the first creature in all of the cosmos to say No to God. My kind collects souls from destroyed planets... entrophy says they all go. He would send those from my planet to give creatures a mercy death, though this was not explained to me... we followed orders out of love of God, our Father -- so to speak, He has no sex, I merely follow your traditions.



---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......






I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.


When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.


Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...




This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.




I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.

There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.



Saturday, November 28, 2020

the idea of the God of Many Masks

 Made sense to me.  In the context of what I guessed a God would be, based upon my peculiar blend of beliefs.  A God who appeared like a returning Buddha, or one of many, called angels or prophets or whatever.   I always had a hard time with the idea of real angels and demons and should have made so many things clear, like this metaphor.  I did not realize people were making a big deal out of everything I said and look back on my mentality as stress induced rage, half the time.  Dreams.   I stayed with Science, always afraid to rely on the Supernatural at all.  I had a certain faith that I had always struggled to be moral in my weird ways;  even when the beliefs came and went with life lessons or sheer habit.

I feel like when this mask was put down, in various ways the idea was attacked, and I was told of things again that happened,, which I would have stopped.  I am tired of trying to say anything about such things that might distill into doctrines, that grant power for no good reason at all.  I have to say good bye to one of the few media efforts that mattered to me, that really stung when they got me all wrong and dressed me up as Hitler.  The guy who brought in the Jewish Mayor and railed against this from the start.  Statements I would have clarified haunt me, like a lot of things.   I expect and accept this part of the mission now...  I wanted to change the world all at once, when I did not realize I lived a lie among liars.  

I told you the truth when you asked, and finally, I had hoped the movement would turn peaceful. I see less and less reason to want to insert myself in anything that is not a solution, or a plan for caring for a future that is going to need all the help the present can muster, and governments cannot be trusted.  Senseless blood is the last thing I ever want to hear about.  On the news a child dies from a stray bullet and I mourn inside.  I do not wish to be impervious.  Ever.   I never was.  To be mistaken as this killing machine is strange to me today.   I will never give up the fight but I will always first seek peace.  And second and third.  Can't appease in the end, unless any fight proves pointless?   I do not wish to be the one to make that decision, not that there is much chance of that happening.

I will never be able to finish this book.   A LOT of time spent messing around.   I got three scenes I like.  And I am not sure if I will ever feel safe returning to them.  I do not wish to create anymore myths of war.  I do not want to create any stories people try to live, no more turner diaries for the left or right or whoever, no more religious speculation.    I once felt fire flowing thru my mind and body.  No more...  just the unhealing burns are left in my hollowed body.  And my soul, un-ruffled by the goings on of the flesh, on some level, merely waiting to leave with new lessons, or move on or... who knows?  I have my vision of Heaven, maybe it is mine alone?  

I just do not want to even think about mass destruction and death all the time.  I hoped to help.   Now I feel worse than ever in a way.  To have contemplated civil war drove me to distraction.  I will be glad when tRump is out of office.  I am not vindictive about what he did, just tired of it...  ready to try to clean up the mess, now more revealed than ever, though people are fighting it...

I think of getting shit about blue.  I am not stereotyping any group.  I gave my support where I would not have at times.  I am not giving up on anyone personally.  The more co-operation the better.  I believe in reforms here as well.  How could I not?  I also know this is bigger than the individuals involved.  The police are not in charge of the underlying causes of this societies woes, though they should be adding to the problem.  I have no solutions on this matter...  all I can say is that do not judge me by those I forgive.  Do not judge me for what people did behind my back, or in a war of... madness.  Pure madness, on some levels, and not on others.  I certainly did not mean to release the worst in people, though I still aim to forgive them.   My beliefs do not matter to anyone except me.  I came to them a lot of different ways, and everyone has their own path, to some degree... certainly they can be mentally freed while in prison at times.  

I feel like I need to say expect my decisions to be based on a firm, sane horror of hurting a fly let alone... and a firm, cold feeling like I will do what I must if it comes to that.  I hope the world takes a turn toward sanity.  Has happened on occasion.



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