the never ending funeral

I know all souls go to Heaven. This knowledge and power makes me the greatest destructive force in God's creation. I think tonight of my vision of ending the world with lightening and fire, how terrified the world was of being judged by a deity. And later abused by a seeming mad man, as the forces of man fought over the mind of the child who began growing wings at the age of five, a secret kept in layers of secret societies... Before the war. The first few days of loving everyone, forgiving everyone redeeming everyone... I knew from the start some force was using me. A force that was seemingly abusive to me. I made mistake after mistake, feeling the attack was unwarranted, but I wanted the world to see what was being done to me, thought they would react with justice, and they might have had I been told why Bush wanted to fire some cia personel. Instead, a man I considered my political enemy, though I had never thought once of hurting him or his family. I wrote burn the bushes for effect, not because I thought they needed to die. Little did I know... the people initially behind this do not matter anymore. Digging up corpses, animating zombies that kill for no good reason at all... no logic in that. Off mission. I in no way believe this country is ready for more than a redistribution of wealth thru taxation, and for now that would be enough to change the living standards of the country. We do not need an overly itrusive government, religion, or laws to overwhelming us in the name of security, or stopping counter--revolutionaies, etc. We need an open, honest, expert driven approach to dealing with SERVING THE CITIZENS of the USA -- not being served by them. Millionaire politicians have the connections and levers to get things done in ways that can get better. I have said the same things since my teen years. The times are more complex, but my interests are still in uniting people, not controlling them... freeing their minds to critically think about issues, as children, when these patterns are layed down. I have noticed the increased surveillance response on the tv. I had the pleasure and embarrassment of seeing friends refer to me. I am not going into any specifics about present situations. Those who know, know... pain is weakness leaving the body... my marine t shirt quoted in a quip... Pain has forged me, made me stronger. Weaker at first, then I learned how much I could live with in horrible pain for days at a titme, laying on the couch or pacing tha apartment. Big adjustment for a guy who was in aa because of lack of control of sedative drugs, including drink, and percoden after being on it a year... thirty years in aa and I started smoking weed, then this hit. I needed it then to mentally deal. I needed surgery, could only get pills. Put off being disabled, had no way to live unti mary ann came along. God knows, I MAY have had to move to Ohio until I had social security. So many things, what is co-incidence, left to trustitng if I was a demi-God or something I at least did not seem that bad of a guy, though they did something to make me a liar. I learned later the hypnosis, including a year, at five, in a hospital being given radiation to stop the growth of the alleged wings. A lot believe, enough there must be evidence. I later tried, once, to draw lightening from a blue sky and instantly it was coming down, straight toward a building. I stopped it... I was riding on the El train at the time, just staring out into a blue sky. The feeling of lightening and fire flowing from my body during my night of visions, was joyous... and I wondered if this was what I was, a fulcrum between sky and earth, using both to take out humankind, send their souls flying from this planet. I could not imagine wanting to do such a thing. I did see this as somehow a birth, more than a death. I talked of comforting souls who thought they were going to hell to comfort you. My memories of being a soul, from the reoccuring childhood dream flying above the earth, then hitting some gravity that pulled me down to the blue circle with white clouds and then bam, into a room of all white. Just like that. Made me think, later, when I examined my behavior in terms of prophecy, seeking signs...that souls enter babies at the last second. This like so much of my thinking may just be logic to hide a secret pain, and aborted child I would have love to have had, though that path was not for me. Like when I understood all these people died, and I freaked out, began to imagine they had chosen to be murdered, to head toward heaven, clear some path... I look at such things now and think... the belief that I was Christ, God in a way, his face on this

planet, so to speak. I had no ideas what my powers could do nor did I wish to test them. I never believed in miracles and such, and the longer time passed, into the period when I was preaching all the time, yelling threats... coming close to being worshipped, or was... studied, etc... I did not know who all of you were but I wanted to be valued by these people, and I wanted to know what the hell they were up to, why they did this and that, with no idea they thought I was in charge. I wrote a fiction in my blog. In my dreams the writing would be a book revolutionaries would use. Had I any idea.. I cannot keep living in the past. I have studied it enough that with what I know, I have an operating plan. This depends on co-operation more than military discipline, no one person leading a group of people, all should have self rule to a degree to their own culture. I talk of Mexico a lot because of the deaths involved, and yes I grieve them. I get pissed when I think of this slaughter you had ferrell spring on me. I mourn you. I mourn those who fought or were conscripted or ... I do not want to let these people die in vain. I will continue to fight for immigration rights, continue to mourn the caged children on the boarder, continue always to rage against injustice toward all people... but all people are chosen of God. You are chosen whether you know about it or seemingly deserve as much. I of course have to take some of the blame for tRump. I did not think he had a snowballs chance in hell of winning. He used some of the people who were under control of the last operation. I never meant anyone should eat each other. I never wanted a state. I do not know how or what this has morphed into though God, forgive me, for my part. I talked of olden times not thinking people would do such things, wrote a short story taken wrong, always taken wrong. For fourteen years. Now I have made my case on these matters.