My first biook, I WROTE easily ten versions, hundreds of thousands of pages.

Ended up with a  120 pages...   and the dialog makes people say that people do not talk like that, when my professor girlfriend and I indeed talked just like that.  Always made me think No one has intellectual conversations anymore....  we are both much, much more intelligent and well educated than most on certain topics, and people who were around us were blown away by the conversations.... one of b's childhood friends asked her after we had lunch if we talked like that all the time, with her young, handsome lover.....  jelous.

A crowd filled with more lies than morals.   Oh, well.  I do not care.  My own moral development came with some pretty steep ups and downs, though not too low, too high...  made into a God by people,  with no ideas of his powers.

I want to protect all of the innocent, and the sinners, too.   This is what Christian forgiveness allows -- the entry of love into your Holy Ghost, if you will -- I seldom write about this, puzzles me, makes me wondef if this is the soul, as I am the sun, and God ia the father...  makes sense to me.  All are filled with the Holy Ghost if this so so, a Gift from God I seemed to bring...  I thought at one point though now I have no clue, I realize.   Better II preach to what I know,  There are too many guesses in the book for most scripture to be of any use, without massive editing, as well as  explanations of metaphors not as the enemy of the church, but new knowledge that must be confronted, accepted, adjusted to,

We were defeated, truly, by the DIVIDE AND CONQUER OF A RACE WAR    And other matters, relating I believed to my new scripture, the wriiting, from which I believed people were effected by, though I thought they had no access to the camera'sthe media seemed to be using to give me hints about matters I did not understand, and when I heard flashes, like 'turn the fat girls into sausage' I thought you were joking, because I would never consider such a thing...  then one day watching diisney news they mentioned killing everyone with blue eyes and the weather woman began yelling about how she had blue eyes, and I realized they were serious....  I would no more order the killing of people over their eye color...  a glimpse into the madness that was going on out there that if only I had known, a voice of sanity would have entered the conversation,  but no....

Played me like a monkey, and made the monkey pay, let the organ grinders free.   This song at first meant to me that they had let the people go who used me, and later to the people who actually got rrid of the dead, by making sausage.   Who they are does not matter.  The CIA works with people, who would otherwise  not hae even been involed.  I certainly had no clue what was happening around me too often to write at once.  The incidents cram into my mind.... making it very hard to write about.  Some are too classifiied for me to more than make reference to them, without laying blame on anyone.  No one deserves to pay for what they did during this war.  Ending the physiical war, and moving unto a nore spiritual attempt to change the world, to grow the garden that has been opened to the childrn,


Kept saying I have the chikdren and they followed a SOCIALIST instead of TRUMP.   The world should have listened.

I had to take a few months off.... being reminded of all the blood I have shed disturbed me more than I expected.

The  good part of this is of course that I have been working in my mind on the book, to an extent that I see a whole new way  of writing it...

I have decided to start the book in the church, where various leaders that have arisen in the underground, and working with the city on  a defense, after mending their differences on the race war gripping some of the country, and anti semtism, as the Nazi movement secretly rose among blacks and others,.   I refuse to stereotype because it is a bad way to gather data for a sceintific decision on the matter.   One of the absolute worst.    One can find the reason for them, but there are people in all religions and governments and etc.... who think they are special.   Seeing them as I do, I know there is nothing special aboout them at all.

If  a person believes a wino sleeping on the streets is less loved by God then they are, the person is certainly not a Christian, just an asshole.  This applies to all religions, when you see the lives of this one flesh stripped away and the soul underneath that has lived thousands of differrent ways.... 

LAMBS BLOOD SPLASHED OVER THE DOOR

      I see a mighty war developing in the underground, womyn rising up to finally crush the patriarchy, I am certainly ready.  This is nothing I would have felt possible before.  I wrote eleven years ago, just after the three days in the hospital that I do not remember, though I awoke knowing I was not the person I thought I was, but some mystical creature.  When encouraged to believe myself a spiritual force, while others assumed I was acting and Jesus was the role....

I always felt like a spiritual force.  Not a God Emperor.   Not someone who wanted to worshiped or put on a throne, I wanted to do what I could to help the world, not knowing I had been caste as the devil, the fallen angel, in the helplessly idiotic mind of man, who believes about anything if it gets a gut reaction from them, which is easy to do by selectively telling my story.   I heard this emperor business once in the beginning, about the emperor wanted Colorado.  I responded way too late, though Denver, with it's DUMB, and the mountains, provided some defense I hoped.   I was watching Jeremiah Johnson, after crying and listening to a John Denver song.....  I suppose because of the drugging they gave me.  NOTHING like that had ever happened to me, and I did not want it to stop.  I did not think of people watching me, let alone they would be so childish so as to make sport of me for crying.   I saw another reference to this is some mockery of the 300 movie, where they made the guy crying and telling people to leave brittany alone was a God Emperor.   This works with a globalists plan, this does not work with someone like me, who thinks people should govern themselves as much as possible, and no one throne can be trusted with that much power.

A man died going into the Colorado capital building declaring the Emperor wants Denver, then lets himself get shot down... he was heavily armed and dressed in black, but there on a suicide mission to get a message out  in the media, to those who would understand it.   They gathered in Denver, and were called fallen angels.   They twist things on tv and yet the truth more than anyone outside of this paradigm would believe.   I rebelled at believing this while I was in the middle of it, to try to hide from the deaths being caused by my actions, and tried to laugh off their reports of violence as jokes, like mine would have been.   Those watching my reactions took this to be a blase attitude toward the deaths, though this was merely me putting the pain of the moment aside as much as possible, or at the very least not showing my emotions.   Regardless, BACK TO my people going to war with a criminal group, on the eve of what would have been my ascension had I not done this, and the criminals backing me would have went right along.

They had killed some marines.   I have since realized the English did as well and this is not something I can easily forgive.   I was so naive when I first watched this, that I thought I was dr who in the damn show.   But then they made fun of gay, bi racial marines.... made them all out to be fanatics, and the leaders were people who had their heads cut off.   The villian in the show had some kind of way to control peoples emotions, like a cult.   When it ended, the woman buddy shot the woman, with a pirates eye patch, dead.....

They did various shows trying to belittle me.   I was making fun of the queen and the royal family like a lot of people do and was surprised as hell when the queen came to me and said just we have to stop this.....   they broke into a BBC channel to get to me.    I thought she meant my criticism of her, as a metaphor for all royalty and excessive, stolen, colonial wealth.   I did not realize my actions were being scrutinized by all the groups they were.   I knew some assholes were watching me when certain shows that were live were on, but I had no idea other than that spies were reporting on me,usually my worst moments of the week,   An anger rises up in my again at those who told you I wanted you to give me your free will....

That is nothing I will accept from another.  Period....   I do not look at life as ending with one of two options, Heaven or Hell.   We love to believe in a Hell for the sinners in this world, but I believe everyone goes to Heaven.  I think Hell is a penance, or the teaching the soul a lesson, by having them relive all the pain they have caused with their life, their lives passing before their eyes with the emotions reversed.  Then they are free souls for a bit, who have lived good and bad lives, as they follow a plan of God that I do not understand perhaps as well as the Buddhists who believe in reincarnation. though there is NO KARMA involved in my cosmology.....   

I do not believe if Hitler is reborn as a little girl in Iowa that she should be struck down by horrible disease, or whatever....  No, I do not blame Children's diseases on their past lives, or like a sciientologist, because they could cure themselves, to the point they felt fetuses withe AIDS were at fault for getting the disease and would not donate to help the babies live with the disease.  Found this out from Jenna Elfman.... who I like as an actress though I have no problem with how a person thinks, I do hate to see their FREE WILL STOLEN and will try to help them regain thinking and stop living for a crazed fantasy that has been a money making proposition for the physically and mentally abusive supreme leader, who answers to NO ONE/   

Will we be able to heal the rift created by our enemy to get us fighting among ourselves, might as well be can we win or not?   No race or religion or political philosophy can confront our system.   ONLY  a class war can win.  Nothing else should matter, for now...  almost all of our problems will be solved merely by working together, the great catastrophe predicted to come is here, in the form of a world wide oligarchy that must be dismantled.

OUTLINE OF NOVEL'S NARRATIVE/in progress

The first scene takes place in a FEMA camp.  Where the protagonist is slipping thru security with false id.  He is a leader in the resistance, the reason many had rebelled, a man who many believe is the Christ, which he is.  He is a Buddha-ish returning soul, though he has come as much with a sword as peace, and he had told his followers the last time he surfaced that he would be returning with a sword, not peace...

They are fighting a force of mercenaries, who work with the small oligarchy that has seized control of the US government, who are called terrorists... and the government pretends they are fighting then, though actually ISIS is a force that is executing almost everyone in the towns unfortunate enough to find themselves caught in the war.   THEIR OLD LIVES OVER with the bombing of their towns...  the army fought ISIS, AND SEEMED TO BE LOSING, as they were supposed to.  Their leaders were sacrificing the soldiers, because they knew they would not go along.... they figure this out and turn on their leaders, joining the resistance.

Christ thinks if he can right the great wrongs of the world, that he can establish ten thousand years of peace...  and also knows the GOD uses him to destroy planets that HE thinks are about to fall into horrible deaths, by greenhouse effect causing waves of immigrants as the coasts flooded, the break down of societies and Governments across the Globe.  Jesus has been on many planets on his mission and knows what lies ahead for human kind is dark, unless He can force on those who hoard their wealth to invest in the life of the planet.   He grew up believing that all the worlds problems would be addressed, and we would move toward some Star Trek  kind of peace om earth where we are well beyond having armies or nuclear bombs or even suspicion of hostile action by fellow denizens of our world.....  I have not lived to see this, though if humans are to live, they should follow this good advice, but... they won't.

Christ started the war by setting off nuclear bombs, three at Nuclear Power Plants, that blew up into radiation deaths for miles around...   took out New York, and LATER Chicago.

He does this to recruit a resistance, show those who would fight that there is a kill or be killed war being fought for them, and against them, and they need to join in if we are to win.   When it gets out that the FEMA camps are disposing of most citizens they processed, and keeping only skeleton crews to run the cities for a few people, the elite who would split the city among themselves, after confiscating all the land of those who disappeared.   Mass graves began to fill state parks, which were closed to the public.   Infested with ISIS the still believing public feared, because the news goes on about nothing else, and they had tried to say that Jesus and his Zealots are Isis at some points, though as the book goes on

Jesus ends up stopping the advance of ISIS, the US'S MERCENARY army, hired because they had no problem with war crimes the army and navy would consider war crimes, and fight them on the orders, maybe join the rebellion?    Many of then do....  The country is split, from the great lakes, down to gulf coast, there is a line of fighters, some areas more protected than others.   Isis GETS this far before the army, navy and civilian fighters could organize together, draw a line around the Appalachian mountains, dig in and stop the easy advance the mercenaries were used to.  The mercenaries are not taking any risk with their lives, just in it for the money, not the politics,  and they are not from the United States.  We were ready to die, and they had to die, that's war.  Especially when we had the civilians fighting with us, ready to hit them anywhere, at any time.

Anyways, they hold this line, and have so far, but the ISIS has decided that they will finally fight.  During this, Christ lives up to various prophecies, and has miracles that had happened, including growing wings the Catholics had cut off and radiation used to stop them from growing.  He was five when his legs stopped working for a bit as the wings began to grow in...   regardless.   He is afraid kind of to use his powers, though he does call on storms, lightening storms, that destroy enemies...   the ISIS who ran into him retreated rather than fight with weather and soldiers.   
\
They stop the advance.   Then they have to attack, which they do, and eventually take over the states, mexico, Canada... with the help of Russia and China.  The Catholics let him choose the pope, even though another was still living, the Chinese knew he believed in their dream to take care of all the people, in a system where it is fair to all...   the dream that Jesus knows can be reached under his steerage.    He does not worry about that much about this during the book, fighting with his own soldiers, and arms supplied by the marines who one hundred percent came over to the side of Christ, when they were told that ISIS was going to be used to cull down the civilians on the continent to a few hundred thousand -- which would include everyone they knew, and secretly, as they would learn later, would then later kill the marines.   A genocide thought to be needed to save the earth.

The mad environmentalists and think tanks and military and pragmatic men and women who took on the responsibility for preserving the human race...  who finally decided to use this method, not a disease as they first considered, and tested all over the world with Ebola outbreaks.  They wanted to keep the people who ran the electric plant, the street sweepers, vital workers at the phone, and even cable company, just enough to service...  a few hundred thousand.  Most were dying, and those who lived were told again and again, they were lucky that they were getting to live as well.  The very rich bought their ticket, talent got you into the deep underground sanctuaries that the governments around the world had been building for  decades, though of late more and more were being created for the rich, and government, and in Russia alone room for all citizens, instead of an elite few who could fit into the bases, built into the sides of mountains, like in Denver

NEEDS FOR NOVEL

At this point I SEEM to have at least is the scenes I want to write, written in ways I would not write them.... bare faced prose.  The beginnings of his sermons, which have to be a center of this book, an explanation of God for those seeking purpose in the battle against evil, which have taken on human form, or were always just humans, depending on your view.   To me they are power mad humans who are woefully misguided by a lack of belief in the existence of God.

There have always been individuals who rejected God, though now we are in a time when most reject God, especially among the best and the brightest, who believe science can disprove God... instead of looking for themselves, beyond the Churches, into the mysteries that enter their own lives.   Perhaps I have had more than any others.   I do not know, though God left me a mental trail to follow to his acceptance of eternity, and that his blessings can enter this life, and they often involve pain...  blessings less for the messenger than those who receive the words tortured from a man...  a meeting with the Supernatural is bound to happen to everyone in the end, though most do not need it in life.  With me of course the living and breathing truth of His ability to sacrifice his favored son to stop the pain of the lowliest of low...  to concern himself always with the relief of the people, never beguiled for long by the trappings of a world, the combinations of molecules making up the illusionary world of the flesh.   Flesh needs nurturing to exist in a place where nothing and everything exists at the same time.  To see the world from the eyes of a God is to see a wave of color flowing at you, of worlds and realities and dimensions and all the related words in existence could reach for and never come closer than they are to explaining ...   I know of this and can see the wave, though only the father sees every event on every planet in all times... in ways I am content enough with my own perceptions not to envy.  

I do not want to see all the death and destruction happening everywhere and knowing me that is all I would see... the king of pain.  

I am breaking the fourth wall/the author entering the text; a new you will see here... I am a writer after all.

I am the writer of this book.   The man who projects this fate onto the world, as a continuation of a series of writings that have indeed, for miraculously come together reasons, literally, to become true, by virtue of a series of accidents and plans gone awry and sabotaged by yours truly again and again for side after side, even those who were supposedly my enemy, in the world of words in which I thought I dwelt.  They hid from me the deaths my actions were caused... or showed them to me on Supernatural, like the false ministers being killed, and a politician... they too much mirrored my own life over and over to make clear they were messengers of a truth only those involved would know.  They showed an angel who appeared right as I did... showed me the bones of the Scottish king I thought I was had become the king of hell... that my actions had somehow been manipulated to make me seem this killer, a bringer of hell.   This was true, but I did not know.  I was under the illusion that my words would have little impact.   I took the deaths on the show to be metaphors at the time, similar to my work, and flattered... how sickened I must have appeared to those watching me on the secret cameras as I reacted to deaths like they were nothing.   Those involved assumed I knew these deaths were ordered and was pleased.

Not breaking into tears or panicking or screaming about this was not my intent, and if this was happening I wanted it to stop.   I did not think my words had caused the kind of eruptions they had, did not realize those backing me were quite so powerful.  This was never a game to me, as some suggested back then...  I simply did not know what ramifications my words would have.  

When I discovered what had been done in my name, and how the last, humiliating smear against me destroyed my last vestige of caring what humans think of me in the deepest parts of myself, the parts that fuel the monster, who kills with pleasure.  The part of me that knows I will win no matter how often this life makes it look like I would lose.  This has happened to me in human history more times than I could count, even my deaths back then added to fulfilling my mission, or even my faked deaths, which I grew pretty damned good at over the lifetimes of being a man who changed history -- they are usually like the roman infantry, kids sent in to die to weary the soldiers they would fight....  dead.   Not this time though.  Modern science and the testing of the patience of God has brought mankind into the times...  all planets have them, sooner or later, the life dies.   Huge cosmos filled with objects that can hit a planet and destroy life giving atmosphere, or suns exploding... sooner or later they all die.  That is part of evolution.  Life creating souls.  Do not ask me why there is a process to everything God does that is too long and involved for all but God to understand...  God does not feel a need to try to explain, to even create a creature that could understand would be a wasted, narcissistic move that would not enter his thoughts, except through watching u

I am not writing this book as a whistle blower, or a promoter of this future I write of...  before I thought my target audience was some future revolutionary, because I could see no evidence of one fighting then.  When I was told my advice on protesting had been taken as a rallying of the troops I did not know what to tell you...   I gave you bad advice, perhaps, from my denial.   I wanted you to win, to let us put together a new government...  I would have told you as much had I not been half mad trying to digest all I was hearing had happened.

Whenever I heard of violence  I was like stop them, whoever I had available and could trust, after the police, temporarily, lost their way due to...  that which only those who think I have lost the lust to kill had better ever bring up to me, in the media.   This act which saved the world from losing their last best hope of sane people governing based on science, not the needs of corporations.

I do not want more fighting, as I sit here writing a book about a revolution.   I have intentionally made this book something that cannot physically happen.

by some... I deserve to be the most hated man alive

Some of the customers in the cab hated me, usually I wanted them to, rattling their cage because they were an asshole to me.   I did not care.  I was right, they were wrong, that simple, usually...   occasionally I was wrong as well...  but not much.

  Now I must be hated by vast swathes of people, to get the messages I have of what happened at the beginning of my rise in the shadow war, that was being fought under the radar of the media, unknown to most, covered up by cops and hundreds of thousands of other people who had joined secret armies, cult like groups that fought for their rights in the real world, the ones who lived in the secretive realms, people who scoffed at people who thought their voting made one bit of difference about who was in power;   intelligence operatives call them THE WITTING;  people aware enough of the families and religions and others were the true powers, the ones who controlled the military, the courts, who had a license to kill, who was poor and marginalized enough to be placed in jail, for slave labor;   the soldiers of the Knights Templar and ancient bloodlines and mystics and scientists applauded for proposing to save the earth, seven billion humans would have to be killed off, if the oligarchy were to keep their wealth.   Otherwise people would require vast sums of capital to locate to less populated areas, where strict birth control measures for decades, perhaps forever, could solve our present over blown crises forever....


The complex world  I discovered when I woke up Christ, astounded that I existed.   There had been many waiting for my arrival, who saw various signs of my coming.....  I even dreamt Christ would come back in Chicago, in one of the most vivid, dreams of my life, running through the streets downtown, a speck at the bottom of huge skyscrapers reaching up all around me, elaborate structures built to go with the wonders architects had prided themselves on bringing to the city since the great fire...  25 years before my awakening.  I ran joyfully through the streets screaming Christ had returned, and all was well....

So I thought this time would go, until I realized they were trying to use me as a weapon, a tourist attraction, a ....  I told them I WOULD RETURN WITH A SWORD.  They doubted me, and enough could tell what I was to organize and prepare for war.   Odd.  Never in my life did I think I would awaken to this kind of world.  LET alone fight for its continued existence.   I see evil has control of almost every countries leaders, and know I can fight them, hoping against hope I can establish a world my Father will consider worth continuing, or accept that I am here for the great mercy killing, when the worthy are released from the life cycle to fly off to heaven.... which is light and a feeling of love, nothing more... as if more were needed.  Humans seem to think so, place thrones where they have no use, Gold as if it has value in the heavens...  an element of a physical dimension we fly through without thought in our natural state.


Now the deaths I am responsible for... as the character I write of in this book, and the author behind this fiction, feel from the blood on their hands... the blood they both once lusted to be bathed within.