BLOOD MEMORIES NEVER FADE WORK FOR CHAPTER SIX... NEW PROSE.

I AM using quite a bit more exposition than the novel will end up having.  This is not necessarily prose that I do not like, more prose that will not fit in the end object.   This book is  a mixture between preaching and narrative action.  Finding the proper way to keep tension and interest means having a mix between showing and telling.  Right now I am telling a lot more than showing.   Usually unless I am essay writing, my stories have always been very much about showing.  Showing is one of my most honed skills, and also to me exciting to read... when done correctly.  The fighting in One War is some of the little I have written that was not comedic.   I do not feel like I need to dwell on the horrors of war.  Anymore than I need to see animal rights horror movies.











The blood on my hands feel thick tonight, seems to cover everything I touch, drips from wounds on everyone around me....  they walk past me in the warehouse, looking down many of them, afraid of my eyes.  The myth of blood flowing from my eyes has been countered by government radio and tv, telling the world they have proof I am using lazars, though they are not believed.  I am ambiguous when asked, and find the metaphor of blood coming from eyes too attractive to not want the thought helping create the belief system of my soldiers.   I may be invincible against all except God, though I do not count on this, they do.   I know in their smaller numbers, and with the losses we have already taken, that they need heart.   Everyone will be on our side when they understand the threat, or they will try to throw themselves on the mercy of the government, which has not worked out too well for those who tried, not that you would know as much from the constant tv broadcasts said to be from the FEMA camp.    Pools, and shiny, happy people all around them, enjoying even their pets... nothing like what I had seen on my way out of Chicago.

With my broadcasts and their use of the media, tv and music, we are sparring for the people's perception of the truth thru the media.  We have left a series of high powered radio stations they cannot bloke, and internet feed reaching most of the world, and ham radios.  We have been broadcasting on everything available.  ISIS has been shown for what they are now, and there have even been a small number of congressional voices saying the same.  I saw this ploy for what it was, giving the people hope in a system that was broke.  Another slight of hand.  They would not stop ISIS.   We stop ISIS or the corporate Elites take the continent, and begin ruling as they will, creating fiefdoms surrounded by a select number of serfs, chosen for their personalities, looks, passivity, etc...

God placed me as the head of a secret family on Earth.  I did not know, during my period of learning about a time, and the human advancements since my last birth, when I do not have but the barest glimpses into what I am, they did not tell me.  They were waiting for the  Christ to wake up on his own and do all those bible things, only this time for the corporations, a deity they planned on tricking.  Of course that was the Christ they sought to create in my mind through brainwashing, three days I do not remember, which changed an agnostic who could not think of religion without hatred and a sneer, to a man writing the words of a God, in a poetic voice that was not the man I had been.  The irony is God put me in the place of the 'angel' they were going to brainwash.  I believe others may have grown wings as well, though I have no proof... or even proof that I did, besides a couple scars beside my shoulder blades, and the word of the world, the belief of popes and presidents and the hundreds and millions who followed me over a webcam, and cameras all over the neighborhood, that I thought were being leaked thru spies to the media, which was always quoting me, using my stuff in shows, etc.... part operation Bluebeam, part my own people.  Though back then Ii was very ignorant as to what was going on around me.

The brainwashing was only supposed to make so moral....   still someone who could be bought.  I could not be bought though...  or tempted enough to give into the gorgeous actresses they made clear were mine for the asking.   I did not know why they seemed to ignore that I was with M, a woman I had been living with for ten years.  I guess a lot of them knew she was a Russian spy and figured since she had played me for fifteen years, that  I would toss her aside.   Without her, I would have had people trying to kill me.   She thought she was saving her ass by going to different opposition groups, they tell me.... I do not know what all she did and like a good spy she will never tell me.   I expect now everyone from my past as being a set up,  Not all them are, not all of them started out to be...  most are.  Everyone  I have gotten to know enough to hang out with were spies, people designed for me to like them, who would make the phone calls that I often forgot about with friends, get me out doing things, selling me drugs, making sure I had housing in the rough patches.  

They shut us down one night.  All the radios and internet and...  I knew they would try that, obviously.  We sent missiles from subs into Philadelphia every hour on the hour until they put us back on.   I have found in this war I am dealing with psychopaths who do not care about the human lives we take, merely the property we destroy.  They thought they would have an easy fight, the Elite, as I call our enemy.  They are a group of bankers, Zionists, large corporations, ancient monarchies both overt and covert -- mostly too involved with crime to let anyone know about them. Families that live with their ancient secrets, ancient wealth, and only tell those who they are going to need what they are doing.  After ceremonies and sworn oaths and the firm, unveering knowledge that if they speak about their lives to anyone, they die.  Slow, brutal, an example.


I showed my writing about the events to a writer, for a tv show that used to be one, SUPERNATURAL.  We worked together, though I did not believe the messages they were telling me for quite sometime.  The webcam was sit up in my living room, with one from the tv and the other over my shoulder so what I was typing could be seen in real time.  Another was in the kitchen, and a third in the bathroom.   I had no choice except to live on camera, had no idea why suddenly, after a lull in all intelligence bullshit I went thru while sabotaging the one world government they wanted to use me to establish, with operation BLUEBEAM's JESUS creating an unstoppable religion, leading to a one world government.   I trusted myself to run a one world government, I did not trust anyone else, at all.   I am more than a human, an alien at the very least.  That is one way to see me.  We travel by soul however, not the slow, ridiculous, material methods human's have so much lauded themselves over inventing. 

My planet is the closest to God's face for a reason, I was chosen from amongst my kind to be a different creature, a combination of molecules that would be THE SON OF GOD.    He created me... as the first among many.  The Hand of God.  This made me no better than the lowest, lyingist, drunk puking in a gutter unknown to all but a few who do not care for him at all.  No better.  Different.  That is all.  Thinking you are better than certain people is how human kind is raised.  Those who are pointed at as the problem in society, you believe, and those who are pointed at as heroes, you believe.
It amuses me.  I see the toddler in space aspect of humanity, which is my eye alones.   You cannot imagine what it is to be me.   I try to imagine what it was like for all the people watching me on the webcam, believing this is a God would act toward them... when I saw the bugs as this hated necessity, where the threats to my life and the world had to be fought with harsh words.   I was always pissed that my life was being used in a way I did not understand.  People kept waiting for me to do something the last time I was televised.  They surrendered to me than tried to believe that I gave orders secretly by putting out stuffed animals, or something.    They dressed not for their own warmth or cooling or situation, they dressed to show their affiliation to the groups  that had gathered.

I CALLED THEM OUT IN OH SEVEN.  When I wrote that I would accept everyone into my army and like the French foreign legion all past crimes would be absolved.   A criminal element, necessary to the operational objectives of those around me, who had a lot of this set up long before I was out of grade school. became a backbone to my revolution that I did not realize was there.   They told me I had taken over the world.  Kept flashing on the television that Chicago had won the world.... then they began to ask me what to do, watched me all of the time, for the first time, started then.   This went seriously wrong for them when I refused all the money they offered me, and the life of luxury, because this was money made from war, blood money, and though I was not sure who all had died, I wanted nothing to do with it.   I was famous and believed I could use this later to make a living, that my books would sell, etc....   still thinking like what they used to call Sheep on the internet.  I made clear one night when John Stewart and others began talking about my stage name, Johnny Pain, and talking about me...  that I did not want that kind of fame.  Or I thought I did.   I remember telling them they were going to get me killed.   They coded better what they said about me on tv, but kept talking about me.  THE CHRIST WAS BACK many believed, and others were fighting me, telling people not to listen to this man some called a God Emperor, a thought that had never entered my head... and I at the time did not believe that could be connected to me, and at the time did not comment, just ran from the thought that I knew...  a man dressed all in black walked into the Colorado state building with an ak forty seven, fired off a few rounds, then declared, THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO... and they shot him down.  He walked in knowing he would die.

I did not want Colorado.   I did not know... or I would have stopped that.  Also, the decisions made seemed so different from my own that I thought I was watching the doings of others, that only vaguely seemed to have something to do with me.   Back then, too many of words were taken as written in scripture, and my life is nothing to watch...  I am here to bring words, not sit on a stage doing something boring like typing while someone watches.   People had an idea I wanted an audience.  The kind of people who believed the webcam was some brilliant idea on my part to wage a revolution, the first which failed when they were calling me a monkey, and then the second which won, for awhile.   Now, we had to come together again, and this time no one doubted we were fighting a defense.   They had been on the offense, some secret groups, for hundreds of years working with and against each other, all sorts of levels of spies for every country in the world, and the secret families, criminal or not know as criminal and criminal enough to survive in that world.

I learned on earth people live in all kinds of different worlds, created by their minds, that have nothing to do with their environment.  Two people come to different conclusions about the same events all the time, depending on the context of their personality.

In this way they are no different than the any number  of the planets I have been to.  Time is very long and I am very old.  Older than you can begin to imagine with a human mind, old enough to be beyond what you call time altogether.  What is time to an immortal?   Why would one count it?  I mean, counting is part of this construct of molecules, that is all.  Were I not trapped within the rules I have on myself for being in flesh, I would do that which in spirit I know is wrong.  I have a difficult time explaining this but I am here and I am also above this planet with the souls, greeting the new arrivals, creating temporary hells for some with a last lesson to be learned before completion;   sometimes I think with this flesh, and sometimes I think with the creature larger than this planet.  Size wise I am the largest creature in space.  I would not fit in flesh.   The human mind, no more than the cat or the roach, is equipped for this, or meant for this....  attempts are foolish.  Brains are organs that provide survival techniques beyond claws and fangs.   That is their purpose.  They obviously do other things, but they were not designed for humans to understand what is happening to them... the material space of a brain is not equipped for this kind of knowledge.  The brain would overload, shut down.   Life empty of all meaning, when compared to the spirit being one is, under the flesh.

The survival instinct is important, imbedded in flesh to keep the mortal soul from knowing it is trapped in a torture chamber, compared to being clear, aware, near nothingness in space, warm and curious and knowing all turns out to have been the creation of a God of love who you can feel, and you are pulled toward, past the other planets, stars....  a journey where the love and euphoria grows as you near His Face...  Then... there is suspension, in Golden Rays, before the great stones surrounded by green onyx, that God chooses to give us as his center.  I have said many times, souls become still here.  Some embedded for eternity in the ecstasy of the Father.   I have never done this.  We lived close enough to feel Him all the time, the first creation of this vast work of art.  We traveled in soul all over His creation, watched it unfold from the start, a glorious honor that embedded in one trust and love and marvel at the Creator.  We had nothing to question.   We had everything to ask and he answered us directly.  

Then I changed.  Changed.   I did not want to destroy a planet, even though I could see the horrible future they were headed into, and gathering the souls before they underwent any more trauma, souls that would welcome the relief, as all do.  In the timeless place the end had already happened and their beginning was happening as well in an unending loop....  I put bandages on arteries my entire lives among the creatures who grew to dominate on this planet, which is a natural reaction in a planet's evolution, not unique to earth. I loved a woman and wanted to stay with our children longer, I wanted to save these people....  never before had I done more than pity the creatures for being alive after I became myself.  This time I asked God for ability to do what I saw could be done to prevent the horrors of an ending, and give them ten thousand years of peace.  This instantly became a splinter in the place without time, where the events of one time line were going off from another, and my question was answered by my fighting my way to the top of the power structure of that planet, saving them from the usual slave holders and fearful, pitied wealth hoarders.  The laws of nature, survival of the fittest, etc.. a motive of many planets, though not all.   Before I went to any planet and accepted this...

My question amused my Father, who I had grown up talking to in my mind, a trusted, funny friend, who would always be there for me, whose love meant ... everything.  A gift, the proof of LOVE.  We glimpse love in the flesh, and some become addicted to the physical aspects, others the emotional..  this is God, the pain is of the flesh.   I do not know why we go thru this, unless it is some of you will understand this thing called life, before you become  a completed soul...  I have experienced old souls and young souls, in a way...   I do not make that much of this, other than new souls are very impressionable, I seem to think, though I could be wrong.  The number of people being born now is higher than all the people who have ever lived on this planet.   You could take from this that most souls will be new souls now, because they could not have lived a life, they are all taken.   I suppose you could say they can be grass instead, which sounds really good to me sometimes... amazing how I remember briefly being a front lawn.  I have been everything.   I can be many places at the same time in soul, too many for this conscious me to bother worrying about.  This is the interpreter speaking for a creature to whom you do not share a common language, another reason I am in flesh.

Perhaps that is what I am,  the interpreter between human languages and God?   The bit of God a Son knows.   There is a reason God is the center of all religions, and other organizations running a countless gamut and including the secular. 

Now I go to planets not knowing how they will end, more concerned with how they will live, a creature who attempts to take care of the sentient who call out to God.   Not all creatures need a Christ.   Some die unobserved.   Those from my planet, the soul travelers, do not spend all of their time watching the ends of planets.  They have so much to see...  

I became different because of my question to God, can I save them?   Can I interrupt what you have me here for, and try something else, maybe foolish and useless in the long run, but time enough to save my family, give them a life....  Fight their pain.


That set the pattern.  Occasionally I win, usually I lose.  BANG.  Goes the planet... a dust cloud appears that will linger for a million million years. 

My Supernatural friend, from the tv show, tells me that I am not answering the questions people want to hear from the Son of God.  I am telling them about my life, writing about Revolution, instead of speaking to those who want to know the great WHYS?  The instant cited had the character, Chuck, who they used as me as God, rather the one almighty in their world, not the son...  they kept having him say things I do and write, gave me all the hints.  They had informing me of blood being spilled by my words, that I had tried to bring together people who would not work for the greater good and they were ruining my revolt...  tried to tell me, when I first heard of the deaths and could barely function, by putting my words in the mouth of an Angel who was refusing to fight when he was needed, and I owe them a great debt.   In the episode about Chuck -- the one like  I who just told people to call me Scott, nothing special... etc...   they have him answer questions and his editor likes his work better.    Instead of the book he was writing, REVOLUTION...  as I presently am. And was when this aired... before the invasion.   Chuck in the episode answered why he did not answer prayers and other clever questions.

This brings me back to the problem of which side of the mirror one is on.  I do not see myself as something special, or at least I have no value judgements attached to being special...  I do not understand how other people look at me.   What has been done in my name,  I WOULD NEVER do in the name of another, such as jumping off of tall buildings...  I heard this reported on the news and the number codes they had, like 40, kept coming up, women jumping off 40th floor windows, one going to great strides to break thru security and get to the floor in a building under construction.   I would hear these things and think how eerie and odd that this could somehow be associated with my people...  I wondered why they did this, without a clue, and had no idea that with a few words I could have stopped them.   Such horrors were endless when they finally told me what was happening with the webcam, and the people worshipping me from afar, like I was a tv star of a show who was also God...  I terrified the world, screaming at the bugs in the room... there was a month after I found out about the killings that I was excited to see certain people were still alive, and I actually bowed to them when they came on my tv, which they could see thru the webcams....  Just happy they were alive.'

A month later, I swore to never bow to another human.   I will nod my head and hold my hands together in the eastern way and acknowledge another person with humility, though this is not a bow to me, but an equal handshake of the minds.  I went from horrified by the death to seeing much was still happening that needed battled, and I had to get back in the captain's chair.   I had been chosen by people I did not understand to lead them, and they were waiting for me to do so back then, when  I still did not know enough.... the vow to the flesh, I basically only know what I learn.  Humans keep things from me and it hurts them, my father smacks them around, and thousands die.  I wait until they figure out that I am here to help, not harm, though I am willing to do all the damage I need to be helpful to as many as possible, instead of a select few.    People are always trying to claim me for their religion alone, the soul that comes back again and again in human form and is sometimes needed to start a religion, to come prepared with miracles and grace.  This time I told you I was coming back not for peace, I was bringing my sword.  I have kept my promise without trying to ,


What questions would  I have if I was a human?

Hard to imagine seeing me.   I have been looked at worshipfully, looked at with hope... with terror.  Tears and laughter, stories cold and distant, warm and tender...  of ancient blood writes and the love of a creature I called Eve.  How does an air conditioner repair person look at themselves, as someone who does a job, has a wife and family, etc...  to me this is me.  I am much more, but to me....  I am not impressive;   I have seen the face of God, that which humbles all and makes the mightiest minute..   I would not presume to know as he knows.  There is no need for two.  Everything is based on need in God's world, though not so you always know it, on such a piss ant view we have from the eyes of a body.   Even in soul...  I do not even like imagining being my father...  I am enough of Him to begin to see the planets swirling around me in space, seemingly going fast as hell in their orbits, mere blurs shooting around suns, and then suns in huge orbits that become blurs.... God the Father has all in view at all time.   The Son OF God would be unable to function with such distractions...  I floated in them for awhile when this first started, allowed the visions to take me all over the mult universes, into the past and future of the plant, even into my own true image...   images, more correctly, my fearsome view as a spirit of a size great enough earth's universe is minute in comparison, nothing ...  and will one day be a smoldering rock that I will forget.


We have set up a line of defense in the Mountains of Appalachia,  trying to stop ISIS march across the middle of the country;   they have begun using chemical welfare in their wake, taking whatever goods they can at gunpoint, replenishing the slaves they work together at labor and in brothels, then march out, sending back in planes with a disease we identified long ago, 87HB.    Our inside people have given us the vaccine, and we are ready in the areas where our people are concentrated.   I have labs all over the country pumping out as much as possible.   We can spray cities, too, if we have to.  Not all of them trust us, nor should they.  The last round of rebellion the  USA saw ended badly, and they lost everything, some.  Child soldiers were everywhere, undisciplined and led by people with agenda's quite different than my own.

I am in a canvas tent, lit by lamps that leave shadows in the yellow corners of the room.  The map is lit from above, and we can see the enemy, their concentration.  We have been able to get tracking devices into their vehicles, sewn into their clothes, even the animals they kept for food.  Having the civilians entirely on our side now, practically, was not something the Elite ever imagined they would have to fight.   They expected that the usa would lay down and surrender to a force their military could not handle, so they were told...  the military was in disarray at the moment, ships firing on one another, wasting ammunition and lives as a few still fought for the elite, though most had seen the footage from the states, what had happened to their home and kin, and knew their government was using high paid merc's for a job they would not have done.

We have the figures out how many citizens have been lost in front of us.   I intentionally do not open to the page listing the deaths from the sprayings, the battles, the trains they are running around the country using to disable working cities, taking out the hospitals, schools, the police...  the basic tactics of guerilla warfare.   We used them ourselves to sow panic in towns they were keeping in holding patterns, waiting for soldiers to attack.   The news was telling them one thing, we would show up and tell them another, and they did not know who to believe. We had no time to argue, ended up killing innocent people to get the threat across, forcing entire towns into refugee status, half of them thinking we were going to gun them down, instead of save them.  Takes them weeks to calm down enough to eat and sleep when we take them to our camps, educate the on what is really happening, give them guns if they can hold them, and start their training or send them civilian camps where they can be cared for.

I keep trying to remind myself  to write this entry into my war diary, this book of the travails of the struggle between the son of Man and the Son of God that manifest whenever I take life.  I imagine my steering leads much to be desired by humynkind, and I am as hated as ever by some who think souls should start in heaven and stay there, basically.   I can only say that there is still and there is moving.  The moving end up feeling pain because this is how they survive.  The still give up pain like a morphine addict times too many numbers to bother.  To become still you live and die and develop on a cellular and a spiritual sense, perhaps?   I am not going to pretend to know why God does what God does.  His bit of vision He has passed unto me is enough to fulfill my mission, and anything more would be a waste.  God wastes nothing. Certainly not human beings.  When I returned and learned homosexuals and people of other religions and all who did not, basically, tithe the church monetarily or mentally, I was pretty pissed at first.   I wanted my Christianity to be worth more.  Christ was a being different than I am, a creature in his own right, and I hate what was done to the gentle man's words.  He did not know what would happen in the future, or He would not have been inspired, on wind drunk nights setting around a fire, holding each other tight in love and to stave off the cold winds, he spoke what he thought to be true, and of the miracles God had shown him to wake him up.  I do not feel like Jesus at all.  I give him his dues as the creature that this clay molded into that time, created by the human geography or a religion, landscape, level and proximity to culture, learning, trade routes... 

Now I am a creation for the end times, the Christ who fights the great war at the end of time, so to speak.... you will not experience time the same again once you are no longer trapped in flesh.




We fly in a helicopter that stops for gas and to pick up different supplies for the front twice.  We arrive mere hours before ISIS soldiers were going to march into the defensive wall we had been building for two years...  they knew about our latest movements, watched us from the new satellites they were launching almost daily, to replace the ones our weaponized satellites were taking down.  They were illegal, no war waging tools were to be sent into space, though of course every country had designed them, and those with the proper tech had sent killers into the sky, to take out enemy abilities to watch them during war.   Cannot have the army google updated every twelve hours.  Though to an extent this one is, which is why we went in early, and only let attention be drawn to us when  I wanted them to see.   The surprises they had no footage of....

The ambushes were as simple as pits with punji sticks, logs that cane swooping down a path.  Vietcong era traps.  Let them see the horror, let them underestimate what was to come.  We have cameras everywhere watching the action.   I have told my generals I want to be here to rally the soldiers, and see the action from up close, because they know better than I what to do in most respects, men and women sent by God to do the thinking I had no need to clutter my special mental functions with,,,  I have the gut military instincts of a creature who has been fighting in human wars since the beginning of their time, and follow them even when my head tells me the opposite reaction would bring me millions, and keep me out of danger... 

Flash bombs begin going off at the base of the mountain.  Our snipers, thru their high tech goggles, use the fading light to tear into the enemy soldiers who have been the first to cross the line we have decided begins our defense, about a hundred yards out from the base of the mountains where we were dug into, with bombs enough to turn the mountainside to bloody mud covered with body parts and abandoned weapons.   I  an really here not to observe, but as insurance.  I can use the laser's and sway the battle.  No one knows who I am at the front.   James is even disguised.  The pilot guessed but is not sure and knows his life is best preserved by not knowing, or he would have been told.   I will put him off the idea, or confirm what he has done at the end of the mission, depending on the people wo try to hide my movements from the enemy, which means assuming they have operatives all over our camp, as we do theirs.   In this war, there was almost no way for us to keep collaborators out of our ranks, or the civilians we were now protecting throughout the west.

The enemy backs off from the flashbombs and I again hear the crackle of the fire I am kneeling beside, smell the coffee brewing in the ancient looking pot I insisted on bringing, along with my own brew.  The only requirement I made during camping.  James always had weed if I wanted some so that was covered, the doctors gave me plenty of pills to dull the pains in my body and mind, so I can function without having to allow my feeling life to get in the way.  The part of me that is sane and loving and mourning is non stop, and I thank God science has come along enough that I do not have to be a wizard somewhere picking plants I eat to deal with knowing too much, seeing into the abyss and my smiling face looking back out at me...  liquor was the worst, like Christ used.. though there was weed smoking in those days as well.

They begin laying down machine gun fire, throwing grenades, then missiles, to clear a path through the booby traps, then begin to advance again;   we can see the outline of their heat, and snipers take them out, at least a third, as they once more send in expendables, probably local villagers, to check out our perimeter defenses.   I wish I could capture them and talk tot them instead of watch them die.  I tell myself they are all going to heaven, though that is the tiny conscious mind that hears, not the unconscious, where adding to the horror is adding to the horror and words matter not a bit...  offer no comfort at all.

They have placed all our snipers so they are all moved to new positions, behind tin that kept their heat signatures from being picked up.  I always think of the tin foil hat conspiracies, and how tin foil hats actually did do something, disrupted weaponry that was being developed to mentally and physically torture and influence and control individuals from afar.   Our enemy was using it in some places, creating hive minds for their soldiers, though this was rare.  The mercenaries had not signed on to be mind controlled puppets and fought the full effects, though the more subtle uses they never even noticed.   I had secured the tech before open warfare broke out, and the means to render it useless.   I did not want this Pandora's box opened, though I knew the enemy would go there... still, unless I am preserving free will, I am off mission.   Of course, if it comes down to win or lose I will have to ask the soldiers to let their bodies be controlled, to our abilities.  Plans were on the table to control all soldiers like drones from nice offices a thousand miles away, by guys who check in eight hours a day and eat in a cafeteria.  The blood spills and they smell the floor cleaner instead of shit and Sulphur.  

They are afraid to try to fight through our forces.   Not only are they at an extreme disadvantage, they were dealing with a man who had already almost destroyed the west coast, and turned the great lakes into a nuclear zone that was uninhabitable.   They know I have nukes at almost all of their nuclear facilities, which they had left as unguarded as their nukes, to professionals on the inside, where the revolution I was now fighting began, with the Ghosts, coming to me ready to sacrifice and believe everything, kill their own families and colleagues and then hand the gun to me as the final test.  Testing to see if I am a killer makes me smile now, dark and cynical and perhaps not so anyone around me would notice.   I send a message down the mountain, get on the phone with their field general...  he does not feign to be middle eastern.  I take him to be ex army special forces, probably mentally ill from his experiences -- as the opposition preferred in their puppet leadership, and very, very concerned about his own ass.  He does not believe this is his fight, has yet to understand, as most of the mercenaries had not, that though they hired on with the elite without giving a shit why, they had every intention to live through the experiences.  They would not take the chances, let alone send the suicide bombers, that my forces would not hesitate to do.  The enemy might convince some civilian to do this, to stop Isis or save their family or help Isis... very muddled now the tale the government thought they would get away with telling, under estimating the people, as they always did.

"I do not want a fight.  Keep your soldiers off of the mountain.  If you call in air support, tell your owners that I will level a nuclear power plant and send the radioactivity up into the sky, make a little acid rain on their parade."
"Thank you."

He is polite to me.  They are not known to take prisoners.  They are not sure how we are handling our prisoners, though they have heard good reports... and he has to consider this as a leader at the front -- sometimes it is best to surrender.   I have let then live because the government turned them around, made the public believe that the army fighting their Frankenstein army, was ISIS, when we were in fact fighting them.   I repeat that in this writing a few times, and may edit that out, or may leave it in -- like this sentence, which deconstructs the work, takes the narrator out of context...  The General Finch I spoke to has agreed to cease hostilities until their leadership hears my latest promise.  I used to threaten the world when they had the webcams set up in my house and I lived as a caged beast, mortified by what the world was allowed to see, from my bathroom to my bedroom, and oh how they used it all against me.

Mortified.  Nothing to stop me though.  I knew the mission was more important than how I FEEL, or how well I am liked -- I like to be liked, though when I am not I tend to lash out, and I did not know my words were loaded before...  but that the world watched a film of me masturbating and believed I wanted them to see me...  that it took to finally get enough people to turn away from me that their criticism could teach me.    I learn from my enemies more than my allies, or did back then.  They were willing to be honest.   The person they described who they thought I was...  I spent years fighting to reclaim my name.  I was nothing like they assumed, pretended, believed... my wants and needs nothing like they believed. 

With the truce in place they have no need of my defensive capabilities.  I order the pilot to swing far out around from the mountains, then head east, into the areas ISIS was slowly cleaning up, doing things the easy way...  to the areas where the government pretended they were the saviors on the front, funneling civilians into FEMA camps.   Desperate and hungry and wounded some still went to the camps, even after it became common knowledge they were gateways into slavery, their military, or chow.   Their soldiers thought we were sending out propaganda that they were being fed their enemies and allies flesh, ground up as hamburger, seasoned into sausage, bones used in soups.   I did not make as much of it as I could have, though I talked about it during one of my sermons, because nothing was going to stop the ghastly human slaughter houses, and reminding people their loved ones had gone through this seemed like heedlessly spreading pain, when I needed to balance mourning with encouraging people to do the heroic, make marches they never would have believed they could have, take on the government and actually win huge battles.  Tonight I would have to give another sermon, to tell them of our victory in the mountains...


The microphone is set up in a town outside of  Columbus, Ohio, in a police station, where a sympathetic blue, working with the state police, who had also come to our aide there after experiencing the mercenaries trying to genocide local law enforcement, assuming they would not attack and kill off their family and friends, as they had orders to achieve.  I smoked a bowl in a back bathroom with James, and one cop who smelled it on us asked if we could get him high, which James did.  They were all drinking beer.  They were coping the only way they could for now, and I encouraged them to move to pills sometime and they laughed...  they supplied me up with morphine and weed and all kinds of pills before I left later that night.    They gather around me in the station, anxious maybe like everyone, around the world, who would be hearing from epicenter of an event that could end the world...  fought by the first world wide voice of the people to ever arise with enough power to possibly take over the earth itself -- though I do not want that, I will do so for a few years if I must.  I have been careful so far to fight for sovereign countries, in an attempt to stop my enemy from having a one world government solidified.   As long as Russia and China had a champion to take on the  USA, a local boy who could not be called a traitor for accepting foreign assistance --  offered without attachment though I return as much respect as is possible.

I lean into the soft black cover of the microphone at the desk, wishing for a wireless...   'Good news, for a lot of you.   We have stopped the enemies at the mid west mountain range, as  I told you that I would.  A ceasefire in this area is being brokered.  To those who are in the east, I offer my condolences for what the ELITE army has done to your towns, your people, your minds, your country.  

"We cry your tears with you and hate with you and miss all you have loved with you.  Everyone is experiencing the shock of war, but you have suffered while we worked across the continent.   We have not abandoned you, and will retake ALL OF THIS CONTINENT!  For the time, gathering the large forces we need, and saving those we could in the Midwest after losing Chicago, and opening up the Levy plant's doorway to a radioactive hell.  We want you to try to make your way west, and avoid the FEMA camps unless you have the forces to take one, then rob their commissary, arsenal, and people.  Take anyone who is able with you, every hand that can hold a gun, no matter how young or old, maybe the ones that save all your asses in the end.  If you are one of the towns that has not been hit yet, we will have contacts sent, already have, probably there already...  who will provide logistics for your journey.   Not all of you will live, though if you it where you at , you will surely die.

When I first told the world about the genocide they had me working on, I was not believed.    Knew the world would come around to understanding the truth, just worried that it was too late.   They were going to send planes down through your small towns and cities, past your isolated houses, etc...  for three or four days, a disease that takes a few more days to cause symptoms... then the world was going to fall over dead.   The elite and a few of their valuable minions would have hid in DUMBS.  Now we have seen cities where this tactic has been used in the east, and cities are dying.   We have the antidote secured all over the east coast and the state leading back to where we are.  We had to be prepared for the enemy to attempt a first strike.   They may try another disease later, by the Grace of God we will destroy them first.

As you all know, I will make the USA unlivable if we lose.   I will not turn over all these gifts from God to demons, which whether you believe or not, the metaphor alone stands.   We are presently in an occupied state, where I have been administering to the wounded, helping to inspire these soldiers we are forming up, offering my sympathy and delivering guns... ha.   We are also giving out to trusted folk where the antidote is located.  You are going to have to figure that you have spies among you, and they will be trying to destroy this vaccine, so keep four guards on it and the location, at least, at all times, each prepared to shoot the other in case of attempted sabotage.   In fact, best we put shock collars on the guards as well, and monitor them from undisclosed locations on body cams.  They have no other way to fight us now, we are going to stop this disease with as few casualties as possible.  If there are elderly around you, or you know of the packs of children who have been secreted away, I urge you to offer them material and psychological aide.   I have been told I need to preach more of the scripture, not these material matters... but when you are hungry as all hell and about to faint from a gunshot wound, I think we are bit beyond the comforting words of  God.  Still, I wish to preach of a vision I had, of a world with just a few mega cities, huge structures, self-sustaining, humanity preserved and pulling back from nature to allow the planet to heal.  Humans who see themselves as creatures in an ecosphere, who see themselves with the humility of KNOWING they are but one element in larger creature, where they can turn cancer or savior... which is why they are born saviors, as humans are.  They have been influenced by me, and I am influenced by the Father, and he is INFLUENCE.  I still feel the people hearing this who once watched me in my apartment, believing I was giving advice through signals that I was not.  I am very much a what you see is what you get kind of guy at times, with certain sides of myself, though of course others lurk alone and unseen to others eyes, or beyond their mental abilities to interpret.  I did not know what to do back than, because I had never been allowed to see the world.   I was like the Prince Buddha, a young man not yet realized who had been raised with life's horrors hidden from him, walled off away from the palace of delight and beauty he was raised within.     For years into my involvement, and certainly when you saw me on the infernal webcam, I did not know this was going to happen. 


We are surrounded.  They brought the helicopter down with a ground to air missile, fired from a local militia who thought we were ISIS.  As soon as we came on fire,  I had the pilot go low and begin waving a white flag, then landing.   I could tell they were not government soldiers, and we were really in no danger;  with my eyes I had only to glance at them and light thru them, cutting, burning so hot the wound cauterizes as death passes thru their flesh.  I get out and open my hood, yelling, WE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY.   WE ARE PART OF THE RESISTANCE.  I AM.  THE ONE YOU HAVE HEARD ON THE RADIO.   A party of them begins advancing on us, warily, having heard the stories about how blood shot from eyes, holy blood that burned on the evil hotter than any holy water on a demon in a bad horror flick.  They had to have been listening the night before when I announced I was in the east.

The leader they have sent is in his mid twenties, a veteran, like most of the resistance everywhere.  "We heard you talking last night.  It that was you.  Lot of spies... and, we grew up together almost here.   No infiltrator's.  Got our families. Prove who you are, tell us where to dig up a vaccine around here."
"Sure, let me get on the chopper's radio.  I'll get the co-ordinates from our locals in the area, set you up with them too, if you want.  We can reup your supplies, give you a place you can be safe, to head for.  You'll have to fight your way there.  Unless we can send someone back for you."

I walk back to the helicopter.  On the edge of the cornfield we have landed in is in  a wooden area they have been camping out in, using trailers and rv's, like most of the resistance.  The people have heard that I am here, and whether they believe I am the son of God or man, they know I have been saving people in the west, and they had prayed I would come to them...  if they were believers, their prayers had been answered.  If not...  a revolutionary leader had arrived.  A man with the backing of two of the big three, Russia and China...  Either view was fine by me.  Of course there might be others, who would hate me for what soldiers holding my flag had done without my knowledge, inspired though by my words... and as they asked me during my interrogation, when the scope of what my writing had helped inspire was becoming clearer to me -- though to this day I intentionally keep it slightly out of focus with an extreme effort, as  I do so much I have to compartmentalize away to keep from allowing the morning to drown me in thick, gray, unbreathable air.  

I tell them where to go and they dispatch soldiers.  The vaccine is close to one of their men.   I advise them not to contact anyone, that they should guard the knowledge I had just given them as if it were their life because.....  well, they were willing to listen to me, to anyone.  Like most all they had now were two voices in the wilderness, mine and the elite, who used their bevy of movie stars and recognizable media personalities disguised as people informed by experts to spread their narrative, which was shattered by the reality of what was happening every time ISIS attacked a town, and the façade they were anything more than mercenaries for the elite, heartlessly killing and raping and stealing their way through...  afraid of the FEMA camps, afraid of ISIS... there was only us.   They had tried to call us the army of Christ, though I nixed that idea, have to be inclusive than that, who I am let alone what they believe I am was not the point of our forces, I ended up asking they use the name The Unknown.   This is mystical enough, vague enough, and common enough words to make them more difficult to track from idle conversations on phones, etc....

"When did they come thru here?"
"Ten days.  We were out here.  We're wearing clothes that doesn't allow them to get a heat sig on us.  We were prepared for...  something.  They are worse than the propaganda.   I guess you know all that and more.   Come on back in the woods, get that helicopter up nearer the trees, we';ll throw some tarps over it with camo patterns.   We'd sure as hell like to hear a little more about what the hell is happening out there."
"They know I am over here. The sooner we leave the safer you will be.   We can take a few of you out, if you want.  Leaders who can co-ordinate your passage to the west.  That will make sure you have someone pushing for planes to get you, if we can.  How many of ya?"
He stops and looks at me wondering if I am lying. 'You really think you can get a plane in here to get us out?"
"I think while you are slogging your asses west it is better have some hope... because you are going to see some shit, might get captured.... but you'll at least have hope.  I would promise this, but I can't.  I won't lie to you.   I do not order men to their deaths, and if coming after you is fruitless... that does not mean we are leaving you out here to die.   My presence, the vaccines, prove my point."
"Go on, then."
"I want to get the co-ordinates to you of the vaccine stashes for the surrounding towns.   I have someone on their way here now,  You can trust her.   I don't know what name she is going to introduce herself by.  Just heard her voice on the radio.  The elite are listening as well.  We came in with ammo, but that's all gone.  The contact we sent you will get you a reup on ammo and supplies.  I want you to know this ain't about religion, this is about stopping a fascist grab at power, planet wide.'

"We weren't sure you weren't just the government, playing both sides, once we knew... about this ISIS shit."
"Yes, I have been hearing their reports making us out to be Isis now... people believing that?"
"No, they think you're all in cahoots."
"I don't...  well, they will find out the truth in time.   You send people with me, three, and their whole families.  Twelve, we can fit.  We need soldiers, but I'm not going to ask them to leave their families, or I would say women and children first.  Don't leave yourself unprotected."
My last words effect him hard.  He was considering coming and now was thinking his people were better off with him. 
"You the leader, here?"
"My dad, didn't want to send him out, risk..."
"Yea.   We could use you if you want..."
"You need soldiers.   I would like to... get my family out.  Got a son, born when I was oversea's.  Sure as hell glad I got back before this shit... "
I can see in his eyes the dead coming back for a minute, grabbing at him, asking him why they died... his perception, not truth.   "You will have a better chance finding a pilot willing to fly out here...  I will be someplace else the next day, we'll lose touch.  Just being honest.   They won't make it thru the army up ahead, not right now.  Maybe later.  We can get them coded radio messages about which way to navigate, or stay place... which you ... well, we can at least warn you if they are coming at ya, and the time has come to run."
"What's gonna happen to most of the people... or what happened to them.... is it like your saying on the radio... or is that, some of it, propaganda?"
"I don't have to lie about our enemy."
"What about you?  Folks around here believed in you for awhile, then...   I know you didn't understand what was happening..."  He doesn't sound too sure of this, though I can't bother to confront everyone on this anymore, which is part of what this book is about.

"I seem to have some peculiar powers.  I ... have these visions, and what they mean is not always clear to me.  But whatever I am, men will win this war.  The shit I can do..  I don't want to.  That could be my religion.  They brainwashed me, so take that into consideration.  Know I can kill with beams from my eyes, which they say is blood.  I know that this war has to be won to save most of humanity, mostly, and that is all I care people believe me about.   I would rather people question who I am than worship me.  Though I AM.  A lot of powerful people know...   were you involved in the revolution in 07?" 
Others have walked up as we talked, including an older man who looks like the kid Ii am talking to, and two men and three women, four children, including a baby.  He tells me they found out about what happened from the radio broadcasts, though they noticed something was wrong at the time...  "We need to leave.  Now.   We'll also leave you with a walkie talkie that only our contact has a match.  It is preset to a channel they haven't found, probably won't.   If you have to use it, keep it shot.  Under attack will be enough, then we will know where you are, etc... maybe which way you are going."


We fly up and I watch them ambling back out into the woods...   a few are just stopped looking up at us.  A young girl crosses herself and begins to cry.  Her soul seems to flare and I know belief in God has been born anew in her....









'

PUTIN BANNED MICROWAVES, VACCINES AND FAST FOOD BECAUSE THEY ARE bad for their people.

I pick up the microphone not knowing what the hell I am going to say, what the world is going to hear from the voice of the revolution....   Just start talking, like I did when I was doing Improv comedy on the radio show the CIA set me up with, way back in the beginning of Operation Bluebeam, a much happier time,   "Here in the wild west the RICH OLIGARCHY can subject citizens to tyranny's against life,  ban organic food for GMO'S, something else RUSSIA REFUSED.   WE NEED TO LOOK to other countries to help the revolutionaries in this country to achieve real change.  China and Russia are taking a stand against the UNITED NATIONS, WHERE THE US dollar is king, and no one can call Israel on their crimes against humanity because the USA uses their superpower country vote to SQUASH ALL CALLS TO STOP THE GENOICDE IN PALASTINE.   WE MUST congratulate their leadership in leaving the ROTHSCHILDS'S BANKS INTO HISTORY... by using their own currencies.  The sane parts of the world will follow them, and their debts will not.  They will be dealing with fair, local banks, if they do this right.   The dollar, we automatically start out in debt to the jews when printed, because they get money for every dollar printed.  Makes no sense.  No one wants them there except the power brokers they prop up, and the threat of death that surrounds fucking with the FEDERAL RESERVE.   We have no choice now in the USA except to fund unfair wars and evil governments throughout the world because of OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN BOUGHT BY A TINY MINORITY THAT NOW OWNS THIS COUNTRY, AND MOST ARE FOREIGNERS, WITH LESS ALLEIGENCE TO THE USA THAN ISRAEL..... Jfk tried to warn people about the ZIONISTS....  now all politicians in higher positions must pledge allegiance to the star of David or be thrown out of office, they will pay enormous amounts of money to the opponent of anyone who dares go against them.  The media will hate them, along with the  Jews.  No good newspaper stories, they own all of them.  No movies, they control those... no tv or news that gets to people in the old ways of newspapers and nightly news///  just stories so far away from what matters that most do not watch them... and those who do are carefully led to believe the official stories, after everyone who talks about nine eleven is thrown out of work.  Or dead.
The Jews blew up the buildings on nine eleven and opened the entire middle east up for a war, to knock out seven countries, General Petraeus saw on a memo.  

This they are still dying for, our soldiers.  This they are made to sleep three hours a night for a year, messing with their heads something fierce, as they are turned into killing machines, monsters who kill or die.    I do not want any soldiers on foreign soil  NONE.

I have a solution though a lot of people will not like it, when I impose a dictatorship on them, because they will not trust that I WILL IN TEN YEARS TURN A CLEAN VOTING SYSTEM TO A DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC.    We will cut the military budget to ten percent.   They will have to stop fighting in all sorts of places, and the US has forces, or proxy armies fighting in only God knows how many countries... a lot, most hidden, where they fund locals to do their bidding.  They pay people to get people to revolt, then fund them, arm them, start an attack on a legitimate government that is banking outside the system.  Who is easily overwhelmed, parceled and sold, and run by a friendly dictator.  AFTER DESTROYING THE countries ability to wage war against Israel.  We should not be their ally.  I LEND MY SUPPORT TO THE EFFORTS OF RUSSIA AND CHINA IN THIS FIGHT against the world being controlled by bankers, of all fucking people, who feel they are from the chosen people, and others are animals.   I do not want people like that in charge of the world of media and entertainment, the stuff that most often fill our minds.  The sickness of the mind, inserted in one, that transfers it to another, like a virus.  BELIEF REPLACES FACT.  We must return to facts, and they say a peoples revolution is on the way, and two other countries are leading this, and we in the USA must look at ourselves as resistance fighters... and more importantly to those some who are already out there in the underground, fighting as we live on, while all the sheep who know nothing of the secret war did nothing, did have that nightmare in the minds... did not live as a soldier in the context of war.  Thank you for listening to me.  Remember, this is hard for all of us to believe, and then even harder after that.  No time to quit smoking, maybe time to start.   I am not the God Baccus, though I certainly created him, and he is based on my propensity to party, sometimes too much, as I have lived these countless lives as a human who wakes up this alien, a creature from another planet on a mission, a man with an Impossible seeming job, that may not be set to come fruition for thousands of years...   a person who has added a nuance to a society here, that flowed to there... started a religion at some point, that lasted awhile, until a society with greater force took over, and their gods were thought greater for winning the battle.  A time when gods won or lost battles and were treated as such.

I always feel empty after the broadcasts, and relieved to have them over.  I cannot eat much at this point, or sleep without taking a lot of pills, and I kind of hate to do that, enjoy being awake when the buzz of the drugs are in my system.   I have to put a wall between myself and the dead.   I cannot celebrate causing this kind of pain to the living, the survivors.   I know I am right.   I know what will happen if I do nothing, or lose.   I know the consequences and tactics say I have done exactly what I needed to do to win this war, prove to my enemy they cannot win what they want... are better off leaving us alone, retreating off the continent.  Giving us our way for now.   The population still remains stubborn in some areas, clinging to the thought that since the food stamps were still coming, the social security and the welfare, since the garbage was still being picked up, trucks were on the road, the factories and starbucks open in their city, that the soldiers surrounded them are nothing more than added safety, not a sign they are set for attack.  The US Armed forces were being replaced, with brutal efficiency, led into traps and gassed.  Chemical weapons had been used by ISIS all across Syria from the start of the conflict, the RED LINE IN SYRIA OBAMA SWORE IF THEY CROSSED HE WOULD ATTACK, THEN THEY HAD THIER PEOPLE SET OFF CHEMICAL WEAPONS and blamed them on President Assad.   They wanted him out.   They sent in soldiers from the states who died, as they were in Afganistan, Iraq, and various small worlds around the world.  Entire camps were poisoned.  The US government could not trust them.  We got to a lot of them before the government did, but they moved on them fast, quicker than we thought they would.   Caught us by surprise.   I should have known, because we planned to appeal to these soldiers and would have grown our forces with them, had to a degree, with some isolated Navy ships and submarines helping us...   after it became common knowledge from our broadcasts and others checked out the evidence, those remaining in the armed forces came to our side, just in time to keep the FEMA killings from sweeping up too many of them.

Years it took me, so many ... to realize this world was broken up into factions that ruled behind the scenes, groups mob like in their use of crime and murder as a way to shut someone up from talking about them, but people who the law never comes after -- the law is a group onto itself and does not want trouble with other groups.   They are one, racists whites another, racist blacks and blacks who are just fighting, and white Christians, and communists and creatures called eagles, who are the politicians....  those who have sold out completely and are working in politics, which has become a vehicle to control people, and use various methods to disable the revolutions they predicted were going to sprouting up all over when the one percent made their move, and stole all the wealth by making the poor and middle class pay taxes to run the government, while they got tax breaks enough for the entire infrastructure of the USA to be in jeopardy.


ODD you would think the Christ taking this position.   I came before to reform Judaism, and start a religion that would one day win any battle against them, because they would have me.   The bibles are right sometimes, and saying false Jews would have power was obvious, because a lot of Rabbi's were considered corrupt back then, for charging too much for sacrificial birds at the high holidays, etc.... and growing rich and fat from the working persons dollar, and doing nothing in return all year.  A fraud, and the Essenes, the sect I came from, in Nazareth, Essenes, held that only work with your hands was God's work, and look askance at anyone who just worked with words and figures.... kind of interesting, they were also communists, who threw everything into a fund, where all had enough money from, and they believed in dressing modestly.  They did not go the sacrifices in the city.....  the bible makes up me preaching to Rabbi's when I was twelve.   I was a listener when I was twelve, but not to Rabbi's, just simple carpenters.    When the revolution started I found I could speak as well, that Poet wrote my preaching...   I told them we must go to war against Rome, as my comrades did...  we thought we could win.   Everyone was always revolting back then.  Rome was putting down revolts all over the world, people did not like this suddenly slavery being imposed on them.  The Jews especially hated this, the ones who were not prosperous from the system, who of course were the leaders, who went along with Rome the most.

I think of dusty Jesus, who often stank, after walking all day on the roads there in the end, when my disciples and  I were out fighting, and on the run.  We became wanted, my name known.  My parents were beaten to find out where I was and that they did not know made the hurt all the worse, all the long.   I wanted revenge for that and the crucified ZEALOTS Rome liked to display to keep others from daring to challenge the invader, who put up their CEASER as some kind of God, an affront that the ESSENES did not take kindly with.   Indeed they hated the ideas of kings altogether, who usually back then started in with being a God too... history had been filled with them up to that point, but not with the Jews.   Many thought he was the Messiah there to lead the Jews against the Romans, and they would win.   I was there to start a religion, and a cross was required.


This life the  Christ is revealed in Scott, the usual package, intelligent, royalty, handsome, whatever it takes to succeed enough in this world to learn about the secret governments, where power really lay, and as always, history said those with the big bucks.   Slave masters have the money, not slaves.  I learned this in life after life, start me at the top, where I can learn everything I need to know to fight the enemy.  God places me quite carefully in life.  I am always born in a place at a time where I would be needed.  I came as a Native American to die with them, and bring them hope as THE DRUNKEN GHOST MASTER, who led a failed revival, saying the white man would be banished from the USA, and a lot of defeated people went back to war.  They failed.   Still, his movement is written up as a huge matter at the time, worried the whites that a holy warrior appeared and was stirring up the tribes.   They needed to believe in something and better a lie for awhile, to not die inside for awhile....  the best I could do was give them a reason to live in the midst of the hell their life had now become, in just a few generations the entire world had changed for them, when they were invaded by a cruel, and genocidal western world.

I wrote a bit about the webcams.  They thought I wanted them I think.  Though  I obviously hated them, especially because when they were on, certain people took cues from my life, etc...   I did not know the extent.   I could not figure out why the media was so intent on mentioning me, but I know now that a webcam had been in my house, and people thought they were watching a show because Ii talked to the bugs, bitched at them, etc....  they had upended my life and oppressed me, then asked me about myself, and set me up for leadership of groups I did not know existed.  Others working behind the scenes did so much in my name, that for the people to have finally seen the truth, that I hated every damn one of those cameras, and had been given no choice... people were watching me, even in my bathroom as I reacted to a world seemingly gone mad.

Now I know my place, of course, the Ghosts knew what I would do with the nukes, I guess... or did they?   They sure as hell were intent on making sure I had enough of a killer inside me to shoot four men in the forehead at point blank rage...   for twenty five years I waited, until I began to think they were mad men, except for the sensors they had installed in my hand.... the ever present reminder that my life would one day change dramatically... I HAD NO IDEA THAT spies were all around me, around the kid who grew wings.  They felt honored to know about me.

I become the creator of the reality that I am situated within.  This might be difficult to describe, or understand, though this happens, I think about something a lot, write it, and it manifests.  For awhile this meant to people that I HAD WRITTEN UP A REVOLUTION that failed, to others I had just started one, and we lost a battle....  and would one day come back together, ignited under ideas, not whose territory this is on, or who is going to lose a fortune.  The thirty eight families with over eighty percent of the riches of the world, must be declared illegal, and most of the wealth confiscated.  AN ACT OF WAR IS REQUIRED....  acts of war.  We began by taking out those behind the politicians, the donors and lobbyist's, made their death rate... well, no one was taking those jobs anymore at all.  Like others, that they knew they would have to live under twenty four seven security forever or we will strike, hard and deadly and with over kill to use the dead as grisly displays to those who will not go along with OUR SHADOW GOVERNMENT. 

No one knew who we were and we seemed to come out nowhere.  They existed long before me, the powers whom I ended up standing in the middle of, as they all drew their guns and got ready to shoot it out... lord, we needed to band together and we were fighting because the kings of some of these groups are very wealthy, and they have a system for bestowing wealth, become a mason, etc... get with the program, the secret societies.   They certainly offered me that and more though God told me at the beginning of this to join no group, start your own, and if they would not follow your morality, see if they need to be fighting with you, and if not, get rid of them.    I have had to make allies with a lot of groups, but in the beginning the groups were using me.  They set up the webcams, even had people worshipping me, and put me on webcast twenty four seven and my numbers were phenomenal, entire countries entranced by watching me and reading my writing.   I could not stand it, thinking it was a few bugs who released embarrassing, and sometimes flattering, things out about me in the news.  I caught the reference to my life, and figured no one else did, but they watched the broadcast of God, or an Angel, OR a demigod or a writer and actor or a criminal and a killer and a cult leader...  man, how people looked at me and I had no idea....  I resented the cameras and bitched at them, pretended they took my orders, though they never really seemed to, of  course, unless it was madness to discredit me.   I know that I wrote scathingly of prosperity ministers and soldiers began killing them, and their congregations.  I heard about it and did not make the connection at the time, just went, 'Wow I was just writing about that and here..."  but it was a tv show telling me this, one that regularly referred to my life, and seemed set about helping me, though they criticized me.... we were a connection of communication.   I had no idea when after I wrote about this they had an angel kill a minister and his congregation, then this same angel killing a politician and her staff, after I criticized blue dog democrats and one was shot in the face....   was that all the news reported, and I saw the truth on the tv show.  When the FBI interrogated me, at first they assumed I knew about the cults doings, and those who tried to kill them, for God's sake the irony is not lost on me...   they are tricky, though I defeat them, of course, because I know that I will, it is just a matter of killing my enemy.   Walking thru the piles of friends and foes alike.

I became surrounded by dead bodies in this fight, first a wave of assassin's the CIA KJLLED during the period they were bragging of being my friend, because I saved twenty five of their jobs under bush, thinking he would be firing the liberal ones... when in actuality they had attacked and destroyed the lives THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE when my group was entirely peaceful, and even the FBI announced that the group I was a part of had not caused any violence, but the CIA ATTACKED THINKING THE USA HAD BEEN INVADED, AND THEN took revenge on any who were on the fronts of that first battle....  to keep them off their computers, where the revolution I worked with seemed to almost start,  and so they amputated the arms from people who I took into the first assault.  Most lived but not all, and the core, those who expected this revolution to win, had no idea I was part of a mission that was written for me fifty years before, and expanded on ever since, to use me.... to fight for a certain side in a war, the boy who grew wings would give someone  God on their side.


The rich knew about me.  When they announced me on TV it was with commercials with a fat rich man laying in a pile of money saying we bring you angels, just that.   I took it the rich had funded my life, the security, the study, and of course that would explain their involvement with me... or some reason came up, whatever, they thought they needed me, threw me in a hospital for three days to make me more moral, that was my bootcamp for working with intelligence.   They did about everything else.  They had no idea how bloody things were going to get.....   I can barely think about the violence of the past, after the nukes I had just set off.  The one in California would free the nuclear power of a plant on the coast, spewing radiation out into the ocean, destroying all fishing up and down the coast, beachfront property became worthless -- worse than that, deadly....  uninhabitable, for eighty miles both ways and around the plant, which was spewing radioactive dust into the sky that would blow across the city at times and they had masks they wore, those who were forced to be in the area.  

Of government camps had plenty of room, as they announced twenty four hours a day on their station, and the only tv channel they were letting thru showed tearful families finally safe from the ISIS scare, that create army....  I wanted the heads of the elite on posts leading up to the white house, going a mile out...   of everyone who I gave a chance to, saved, twice, when  I had the mafia at my back, unknowingly.  Later, when I found out that they had set up webcams in my house and were paid hundreds of millions of dollars for different things, like my using their products, would cause a big boost in sales.


I was sold and it was hell.   I could not figure out why people were interested in messing me after the incident in 2007, when they tried operation bluebeam and I refused to go along, play Christ to create a only world religion, leading to a one world government, controlled by their unknowing puppet, the Christ, the rock star, the glib man everyone loved listening to.... the seemingly wise man, one of many years of education to repeat back at people who were not so fortunate.   God truly surprised the CIA... they thought they would use that I grew wings as a child for their advantage.  But I was not moral enough for them, when in reality I am moral as hell, was just going thru a period of being pissed at God for not being there, as he usually was in my life...  I had come to depend on the idea of a higher power, but my education made the religious people seem so out dated and wrong thinking.  Religion is easy to criticize as a way of saying there is not God;  the wise person finds God despite religion, not because of it.

I think my thoughts as we walk.... the night is the second, we have been going the entire time, taking speed and pain pills, we cannot stop.  The Dunes were attacked when we blew Chicago.  That pissed them off too much.  They were not attacking because I had the nukes and they thought we had an agreement.   I was not going to let them FEMA camp all the citizens of Chicago, nor was I going to let the armies that had gathered around Chicago, Most of ISIS, live to fight another day.  I put us well ahead in the fight for the country.  Already our show proving that the FEMA camps were leading to slaughter camps, complete with footage I would not watch, which was on line for three minutes before the censors found it, was seen by enough, that it spread across the country, until the scam was no longer working.  FEMA workers were being killed across the country;   people were pissed.  The guards, the house cleaning department, the nurses in the clinic.   INNOCENT PEOPLE.   Just on the wrong side at the wrong time.


We have no choice except to travel by foot, as hundreds of thousands of other refugee's were, allowing us to fit in, and go un-noticed.  On the roads they would be checking our ID'S and trying to get us to board buses to FEMA CAMPS, sometimes by drawing weapons these days.   It was funny, their commercials continue on tv, showing the gorgeous camps.  And they exist, people, who against all logic, believe only the government about this... not a man, me, who the government claims is part of ISIS. 

They know, most by now, what Isis is, the witnesses of the mercenaries coming into town, the capture of fighters from all over the world, the...  their cover was blown to the point that they were not always wearing any costume at all anymore, came in driving regular army and nation  trucks....

They had not expected organized resistance at the level we are throwing at them.   They are going to plan B or scrambling around with no plan B, which is more their style, I found working in intelligence.   The mercenaries ran from their battles with us, because the Christians died without care, and there was no defense against a swarm of them with guns....  they were told this would be easy, they would set up camps, the people would be sent to them, they would give them vaccinations supposedly needed because the enemy used biological warfare, then they will sleep and ... die.   The merc's were also there for the hold outs, the people who knew about this and would resist, underground groups, who were ready to fight them....  they ran from their attacks too.  They were there to make money, and no money is worth dying over.   The enemy had underestimated the motivation of a people defending their lands.


I picture our old map of the USA from the planning room, an aged looking document at this point, folds all over, holes from all the pins moving around as we fought.  Now the western boarder of the USA was being evacuated, economy had crashed, and the people were panicked....   they were running if they lived nuclear power plants, because it was now common knowledge that the resistance had rigged them all over the country.   They were going to take over the country and right the government and laws and set up a democratic republic with seven or eight parties.   The East coast was much better, our naval ships at the coast, and the submarines who no one knew where they were at all, who could surface and fire nuclear weapons to anywhere on the planet.   Way too many of them are out there, waiting, from both sides.   No one wanted to shoot first, so I did.

Reports from the crew we left behind to defend the dunes and give us time to escape are better than we could have expected.   They were well armed though still only nine.  They were constant mortar fire that scorched the sand all around them, and filled the drifts with the contorted bodies of the enemy.   They had automatic, computer controlled, constant firing machine guns, armor piercing bullets....  the soldiers were firing tanks back at them.  Missiles.  THEY WERE dug in pretty deep, in reinforced tunnels in the dunes with escape hatches enough for them to maybe even escape, with uniforms from the merc's they had stashed for the attempt.


I wanted them off the Dune, told them they had given us enough time... that meant to blow Napalm all over the dune, and about nine hundred yards below, where the cars of the cops and the merc's and... were gathered.   We knew where they would be.   I knew where they would be.  We were careful when we chose the dunes, right down to easy to dig escape tunnels, which was how we evacuated in the end, when they finally contained control of the south side of the Dunes, and all escape that way was cut off.


We are headed to a trailer out in a woods in Idaho, where there is an underground headquarters, the place they had built to ride out the storm in the Midwest, should it come to nuclear conflicts, we could at least live to fight another day.   Even after a nuclear war there will be place unspoiled where everyone will want to live, but there will not be enough room and money will be worthless, probably turn to barter pretty quick after the nukes... should they....  start taking out the USA.   I WILL not be the one to order that, though there are those, here when I joined the army,  who claim any victory the elite has over us will be Phyrric.   I tell the elite this too,,,,  I do not want to do this.  The animals and plants and.... it will all die, over a human war, or I will just give it to the murderers....  I think some days I want to leave them ash, and another day I look at my cat and wonder if I could even sacrifice him, though I know he will live in spirit, I will miss him.   Ah, life.  What is it about an eternal soul that longs to stay in the flesh.  I suspect a form of Stockholm syndrome.

The spirit is not in pain, the flesh is... I feel more needed here.  Whether I am to bandage the wounded or end the plant as a living, breathing entity.   I have enough nukes to start the winter they fear, the one the eventually kills the atmosphere.   The ash causing a greenhouse effect of great magnitude.   Only people alive would be in the government shelters, as elaborate as some were, that were sold to private concerns.  Under ground, post nuclear bomb living is all the rage with the filthy rich.  Like tom cruise who evidently does not believe in scientology to save the world, as predicted by old el ron his psycho self, because he has   a five million dollar underground house in case of a nuclear attack, he wants to live in style.

I wonder about the Scientologists, though now that I know we are on the same side in the big fight I am not against them, I do not think.   Steven Colbert tried to warn me off them, but I found they were east and I was east and I had to understand they are this secret society that is up to something, and I have not really been privy to this....   I read an interesting quote from a scientologists, saying in his auditing sessions he would go back to past lives and often see this hand on a level flying a space ship and all this shit..... maybe that is why they love it?   I too believe in past lives but I am not going to build a religion on peoples old memories, or pretend they are anything more than they are, proof souls, living inside human flesh.   FLESH THAT CAN DIE AND SPIRIT THAT CANNOT... SPIRIT THAT flies to the heavens.  Relieved, usually,


All souls go to heaven,   Some flesh makes a stop first, in  a hell I designed for them, over the years. Particularly cruel people are given a reminder of why they do not want to behave that way in a life, and are left human enough to feel all of the pain they ever caused in their life, in a manner that feels like an eternity, a maddening, never ending hell for eternity,  who I finally let out and who are so relived to be in heaven that their every pain and hatred and urge to act as they had is burnt out from them, and they are like new souls to be born again, after a brief break enjoying the feel of the Father's love, and confirm there is a Son of God above, as there was a Son of Man below.  Two different beings.


The first night I preached I won over the president of the united states, and he tried to do my bidding, and I did not trust him enough to go along with him in any way shape or form...  I should have trusted hi more.   OR LESS.  DEPENDS.

I am forgiving of those they used a puppet because they came from a certain family.  A fucked up thing to be to someone who was IN THE skull and bones.   None of them matter now.    I am dealing with the president alone after these last attacks.   I brought sanity where there was none.  I do not know if I will be doing that again.   I was unprepared before, just woke up to being this immortal being with powers I barely understand, that protect me from all harm, amazingly, and too often others.

We are coming out of a woods, and they see us....    a truck full of mercenaries who have been hunting us since we left the Dunes...   they are disembarking, behind the truck are four tents, and soldiers laying around looking off duty, surrounded by the slave women, drinking and smoking hookas that are obviously filled with weed.   This is the time when I show my soldiers what kind of leader they are dealing with in battle.   I set the laser eyes on automatic and everyone who I glance at, no matter what they are hiding behind -- and I have infra red and night vision, dies...  I set the eyes for gruesome kills, cutting off heads, bodies in half, etc...  I could use precision kills to the brain that my soldiers would barely see.  Instead I wish these leaders to go to their communities and tell they have seen me walk thru an enemy camp and kill them all, no matter where they were, what they were hiding behind, or how hidden.   I leave the general with them alive.   I have already shown the eyes all of my soldiers and have no danger of harming them, without a separate setting I would obviously not have to use that night.  There would be no deserters, yet...  soon I would have to kill a few to keep discipline, that was the nightmare of war, and why  I would not be getting personally close to anyone I was not already bonded with, Vera, the beautician who never in her life thought she would be huddled between a group of ex navy seals clutching the disguise of God on earth.  James came up to me after the fight, "You get all the fun?"
"This time.  There will plenty of time for you to have some fun."
"Nice display.   They will follow you into hell if you ask now."
"I told you, I freed the souls from hell, and the demons wept and used their tears to wash my feet of the burning ash.  Everyone goes to heaven, James, at least pretend you can keep up with the myth, okay?"
"Myth?
I almost sense his cover personality telling me that anyone who thought I was a myth after that display was insane. "Simple science, James.  You do not want to be the only person alive who knows my secrets."
"No, I sure as hell don't need another bounty on my head."
"Fifteen thousand in Afganistan, from any citizen who could hold a gun.  Sorry you went thru that."
"Hate to tell ya, but since I have been working with you, that has went up considerably."
"You checked?"
"Hell, yes... it gets high enough I'll turn my own ass in for the reward."
"I didn't realize you could do that?"
"Well, guess we better win the revolution so I can make that a law."
"Yes."
"When did you decide to start killing that?   We could have used you before."
"He gives me powers when we really need them."
James is sitting on a foot stool, looking huge with his bent knees, large shoulders, a machine gun leaning against both, his bullet proof vest, with leggings and arms, for bomb attacks -- he had been hit in enough that the equipment was not quite insane... close.

"I think they will follow me into battle with a fair bit of confidence now....  but I won't be everywhere, obviously.  We need to use these eyes as little as possible, save them for...  well, I guess we'll know.  Confidently, I could do that to a battlefield of soldiers.   Shoulda believed me all those times I told we would win."







We get a count of the dead, then take over the truck....   a good find, lots of papers inside, maps of their  camps, the latest intel on where they believed the people from the Dunes were going -- they were mostly wrong.    We are only a few miles from our safe house, though I still have everyone put on the uniforms of the dead, their wet blood and .... a  sickening thing I put myself though of course, taking one the bloodiest.   I error on the side of caution, though I also felt this would be good psychological lesson for the men who were going to lead.  A man who had just slaughtered a platoon by firing blood from his eyes, cutting the in half as they hid behind trucks...  showed caution, not bravado, after what they saw as a display of the miraculous, even the most cynical of the cynics.  They would be leading cynics and those who know who I am.   I must have them able to use the moral, and the seeming miracles would do this.  They are not a lie, I am supernatural, just filled with weapons too horrific to want to use, too wary they could destroy... the entire world.  



We find ourselves in a trailer in the back of a large park of them.   How anonymous I think as we pull in.  The last place they would look for a revolutionary leader on this night.  With a family that has lived here almost twenty years, under cover, ready for the revolution, waiting, waiting, waiting... for the order to come down.    I was in the dark all those years, and was always a little wary of these kind of people, who had watched my life the entire time, as a deity, or as an alien, or as.... the program had built into it all kinds of belief system, depending on which one took precedent....   and various different ways for people to see me, to hide me, confuse them, the old sleight of hand... hiding and showing.   I became a secret the societies told the upper level about, a child who grew wings, that we were in the end times, and angel had arrived, heralding no doubt the end times. 

Due to how I acted, not exactly like Jesus, though morally fair, I did like to make myself out in my writing to be quite a bit more wild than I was.... at least at the time.  I had gone through various favorites, though nothing had happened that I understood as miraculous until  I began to awaken, as I understood I knew more than Scott, and was the servant of a mighty God who had chosen me for a task, and I there is nothing I would rather do than God's will.

The sermons on the radio need to be in the book, as well.   Though I know in the end, if you are anything like me, you will think there is too little actul action describe.  I write my internal dialoge without even explaining what is happening around me.

We spend a lot of time during the day hearing reports, reactions from the various families running things from behind the scenes to my announcement of how I want to lead.  These same groups wanted to make me their king when they thought I would be a figure head, a mascot, who took his huge checks and shut up, came out once in awhile to wear a crown and meet famous people, and the rich and powerful who I hate to even be in the same room with.   I am no one's puppet.  They tried, I would not play along.   Refusing someone's millions is the best way to show them you cannot be bought, the only way for me to be free in this world.  That and not allowing people to worship me.  I am not GOD.   I am the Son Of God, which is very unspecific, and used to describe a state I become in when I grow my soul in human flesh, to be raised as one in a time, and learn as much as  I need to learn about for my mission, which is usually immense, and leading to my becoming a scholar at least, warrior poet being the role I played more than any other, every culture has them.

I hear in today's briefing from soldiers in their twenties who look so fucking young to my fifty five.   They are serious men, though they are honored to be working with me, where the men feel absolutely safe now that they have seen what the lasers in my eyes can do.   When I told them I could take out a landscape of soldiers and armory they cheered....   I brought them back down to earth by adding that I would not be with them all the time.   They would have to fight without me most of time, but I would always have their back.   And because of me we will win.

They believed now that the public was awake we would gain soldiers, and we had, too many.  An army moves on its stomach they say.  Thank God we live in the land of plenty, where many towns supermarkets were fully stocked, and when we came through they were more than glad to fill our trucks, and we paid... with Gold.   Telling them paper money was going to be worthless soon.  They believed us.   If not... well, the places changed ownership occasionally.

My next move will be plane.   A farm a few miles from here, with a crop sprayer that we will take on our last jump to Colorado, where our people have set up a refuge in the state, and the pro pot crowd that has been moving there for years were free will oriented, and would not like ISIS rules about killing drug users.   We had places high in the mountains, armed and ready, with heat seeking missiles, air defense.    I was hoping things would not come down to a fight, but had to be prepared.  They had a studio there for my broadcasts, and producers, directors... they were bringing in co hosts, generals to tell their stories, spies and others who came to our side, a few people who worked on the live list....  confessions from all walks of life that they covertly worked for the government.  Doctors who would talk about the reason medical mistakes were the third leading cause of death in the USA by design,  one arm of a genocide.

They were already broadcasting, along with me, on radio, tv. ham radio....   like myself, they had their own satellite, which was essentially to get the word out... and access, hacked, to others.  The gov. never knew where we were going to spew my words down from, though they carried around the world, and many countries were coming along with us now, practicing the same tactics as myself.  A few had already taken their country, and they had orders to be an example of our courtesy around the world.  The word courtesy I emphasized when I spoke to them.   There were people in our midst, fighting with us, who were working for ISIS, and would try to get looting, theft, etc... started to sour the population on us.   I had such people watched for meticulously, to the point of having the dog tags containing secret listeing devices.  They were not able to infilitrate us.   We had them listed as shipped out, then lost in battle....  to hide from the enemy how we were finding them.   I have learned intelligence work is trying to think a few moves ahead of the enemy.   I am not always, though usually.     I gave them very few options for a reason.   I want control of where we fight.

The Nuking of Chicago had destroyed ISIS higher command, who had been living the high life in downtown high rises, taken from their residents at gunpoint.  They were explained as CIA agents on a mission, the closest to the truth I had heard them say about their mercenary army.   We also took out three regiments they had bivouacked in parks, and near the beach.   They thought the war was going to end in Chicago, years from now....   the last thing they expected was a first salvo, after eight years of waiting, when I moved even further south of the city they should have panicked.   Instead they were surprised I had been hiding in the city.  That I was so close.  The move was not even notice, that I was for the first time in eight years outside the blast zone.  When this started they told me I was not allowed to leave Chicago.  They were taking no chances with me leaving the city then destroying it.  They knew I valued life, my animals, my wife.... and I did not want them harmed.  Made them feel safer than any city, in a way....


No more.  The government channels are calling me the new leader of ISIS.   They claimed the troops in Chicago were army, as they had told the city at the time...  they were not.  The regular army was being exterminated, an entire naval base north of Chicago was gassed with planes, then taken over by the ISIS leaders after we made Chicago a radioactive no man's zone.   They had my whole life story from before, and were going to use the worst video tapes from my years of being monitored, destroy my name in any manner possible, like they had done before, after mistakingly making me a hero of their movement, before I knew what it was... and had to back peddle when I realized I was with a group planning genocide, not saving the world...  and were my enemies.   I am gladden by the thought that no one believes a word they say anymore, though some will still hate me, those who lost family members to the forces who believed they were fighting under my orders, when in actuality the cia and others were subverting my chain of command.   I was used.  Crucified on the absurdity of a reality show, when I thought I was at war with the world...  not commanding certain groups...  a world that would not aide me as the government harassed me in the worst way possible, stealing my very privacy.  Privacy.   Only those who have lost it could imagine how much I missed it.   I talked to the bugs, there was no ignoring them, and often the tv had things on obviously directed toward me that pissed me off.   I had no idea some stations supported me and some did not, had no idea that my idol comments were getting people killed, had no idea my religion had taken over Colorado, California, and other places they refused to tell me, always trying to keep me from knowing how much power I had to fight them.  Though that was before I WAS ALLOWED TO CHOOSE MY ALLIES, RATHER HAVE MY ASS SOLD LIKE A WHORE, FROM PIMP TO PIMP....  I have a lot less, though they are the ones who pass the moral tests.    I do not care if we think differently, I love that about humans, but we must rely on how we will act about a few fundamental actions, then the rest can be do as thou will as long as no one is harmed who does not want to be...   right now, they have a fight or die situation on their hands.  Things will get harder when we are governing.444

They have brought me experts in all sorts of fields, to meet in Colorado and design the ten years of Dictatorship I am going to impose.   The people will not care at first, we are just imposing strict security orders to fight the elite's army, drive them from our shores.  Then  I have to make sure they cannot just finagle their way back across and own everything by the criminal laws they have instigated.   I have my dream that will work, without fail.   People will try to stop me right from the start so I am going to kill the people who I work with with impunity.

The trailer looks large from the outside, a double wide, beige like most of them in the lot, the small front yard is well gardened, shows care and a couple gnomes.   Inside, our crew of ten fills everything up fast.  The windows are covered in light curtains, so I ask the owner to turn off everything except one small lamp.   They feed us spaghetti, which I pass up, too polite to tell them  I am a vegetarian and thinking about eating meat after seeing the muscles inside all the bodies I had in the last few days made the look of flesh...  less appealing than ever.   The killing first brought on my vegetarianism. 

We sleep, some of us.   I hear a few trying to keep anyone from hearing them cry, and that cheers me a bit, reminds me these leaders are heart felt.   They were chosen by James, who knew most of the Chicago gangs, having made it a special job of his to free sexual slaves, running missions all on his own.  Or so he told me.  They give them things to say to me that will appeal to me, make me want to work with them, especially James, who was my contact with the spy world...  direct and deep.    He knew a lot more than he would tell me, and I had come to trust him.   I would not want to clutter my mind with details.   I am focused now on how I will approach the leaders gathered in Denver.  Heads of the families would be there, including mobsters, government officials, China, Russia, Israel, and the heads of banking, the stock exchange.  Before I gave them all breaks, during the time in oh seven when I held a lot of power, I spared them out of ignorance, and believing they would reform.  Now I had come to trust China more than any of the super powers because they were the only ones to say, yes, your work is good, continue, and not try to manipulate me... they know my fight, my mission and support me, without having to believe in God at all, though my presence had greatly increased the number of Christians there, they were moderates as my myself, or they were not tolerated.  We had seen in the USA how extremist religion could be triggered during Operation Bluebeam, average people out there who were willing to kill for their God.  Those longing for my return would do anything to prove to themselves that the killing had meaning.   I simply could not be a fraud, because it would mean their lives would dissolve... and I did this to them, inadvertently.   Some have come back in the fold and others will hate me for what I did when I was a puppet, for the harsh words I meant for enemies who had destroyed my career and life and left me with no answers as to why...

Thank God I exposed myself again to the public, accidently, when I bought cable from a company that had been broadcasting me, and the same group that had made money when they filmed me before, reassembled, and activated a church telling the Christ wanted them to watch him, do certain things when he dressed certain ways, and kill his enemies.... go after those he criticized.   I was not aware of any of this.  Getting stoned and writing a book in the voice of Jesus that the brainwashing left in my mind.   I was crazy half the time in my thinking, it looks from here, a few years later when I have discovered myself, amidst all the lies told about me in the bibles...  I read the Holy Texts looking for answers, and learned a few.  Found a lot of bullshit too.  Wanted to be Jesus removing all the salt from the bible, but I am Scott, and while I will do the same thing in my way, should the species survive after I leave or not, this will more than likely be the last writing that the survivors receive from me.  If we win, and set up ten thousand years of peace, that will only be achieved by accepting and loving one another, and throwing everyone's problems into the center of a round table, then solve them as our own....  all countries must do this, pool the resources of all and elevate all.   Simple to instigate once the people who have an invested interest in keeping the present system going try to stop it, then it becomes very complicated, for them, for us it will always remain simple.  Doing a job.

I am sure that the fighting in Tennessee is fierce tonight.  We are trying to stop them from getting over the mountains, which they are running foraging missions now, testing our defenses.  Their images from above are being distorted by  a physics prof from u of I who I politely listened to and did not understand shit about the apparatus.  We would be invisible to the satallites, which would see footage from the day before, or two days, whatever we programmed it in.  No one had put enough defenses in their satalites in preparation for an attack of up to date hackers, a real anonymous, not the CIA playground of getting people...  to do God knows what?   Regardless, without the hackers our jobs would have been impossible.   Now we are invisible in the watched world.  

God truly humbles me by providing this assistance, and they have poured in from across the globe, foreign fighters who had been wanting to fight the elite of the west their entire lives...  China was bringing in ships full of recruits from all over the world, going to the closest countries first... the Mexican boarder has been torn down, along with all the walls, and they have been invited back into their native lands, apologized to and given the spoils of war deserved, Texas and California, parts of Neveda.   They would repay us with all the military assistance we needed, They were taking in refugees from the LA nuking, and sending us soldiers, doctors, anything they could.   Their government was reacting on popular sentiment, which I helped spur by saying we were going to legalize drugs in Mexico, and give the cartels legal distribution rights, to buy them out without violence, general pardons.  A program that will actually work, despite the political bickering that would normally stop it, written into our mutual aide pact.

In my latest talks I asked China to bring up war crimes by the United States by China with the actions of ISIS.  They will be doing so next week, and what all the world knows, will finally be acknowledged and looked at by every country in public, where they will begin to show their sympathies.  Our people from various countries will be there, finding out who lives in the end, and who dies.   We will need much of the world for what we are going to do, though I WANT TO GRANT AS much autonomy as possible.  Russia has been at my side forever, though I have tested their nerves at ties.   I was assigned a Russian spy, the honey pot slaves they always used to control me...  she kept me alive in situations where I had no idea that she was killing people to save my ass...  they told me of desperate things she did when she thought I was going to lose in the war we were in at the time, going to other sides and saying she would help them, etc.... then I always seemed to make a come back, right when I was needed to do something only I could do, and rise again...  now she finally trusts I know enough to lead, though I was lead around by her in oh seven when they first started using me in operation bluebeam, which she knew all about, and expected to be the wife of Jesus.  She is incredibly moral.   I think she loves me.  It could still be part of her cover, because I am sure she hated me at times, and hated having been assigned me... oh, well.   By the virtue of all we went through together I fell in love with the one who was always by my side, always fighting with me, no matter what they said about me... telling me to just live my life.   She may have played me, but for all I know they would have killed her, or worse, if she failed.  She was worried about her fate enough to betray me with other groups when I was down.   I forgive her.   I am a forgiver.  This is what I do.  Forgive, then see if the person redeems themselves, or thinks words are enough....


I have had to forgive all the plants in my life.  I have had to forgive women who killed their entire families in some misguided religious fervor brought on by my presence of life.  The madness that drove people to actions I could not begin to associate with myself, had no idea I could stop with a few words.   I was told of women jumping off skyscrapers and remembering a stupid joke I made on the radio show about kill yourself and others, though not in that order... a stupid joke and women lept from skyscrapers.   I saw it announced on the news that this one woman broke into a building on Michigan avenue, broke into the fortieth floor -- I was often associated with a number of letters, and forty was one of them, as was nineteen eighty, the year I graduate, and seven, for luck...  I guess, and other reasons.   Regardless, I thought at the time,  I said this and wrote this, could this be.... then I was like No, things do not happen like that in real life.  Later, maddened by learning there was some mission you wanted me to do, some attack that you wanted, some way of proving myself, and on the morning sportscasts I would hear of all these weird accidents, people intentionally driving the wrong way on the highway.   Only later when I learned my comedy had been treated as scripture as well, and god I made up, Ralph, kept getting in car accidents, and I had in my life been in a few.    There was something about a train taking off.   I thought these people were on my side, and that I fought for the right side...  I had no idea there were all these different groups in power, and many were seriously considering me, which was a huge shock to a person who had felt the world was pretty much going to mostly ignore him his entire life.... at forty five dreams of fame had molted into making fun of the famous, and realizing  I had the freedom on line to write things the famous could not get away with.  I felt very marginalized, that no one knew who I was.  All an illusion.   I started writing about a comedy character gathering an army and those who knew of me, and my family associations -- mother the leader of the underground communist movements, what else could it be except gathering an army of atheists, pretty much, to fight the system... my character was a leftist serial killer.   They came to Chicago and surrounded me, expecting a man to start a war, then they were told that man was none other than this guy who grew wings, who the masons and catholics and the momons and Christians and Buddhists and world governments had been watching with great interest, thinking the deity was there to bring in world peace.   I was a sweet child, very Godly.   Without a cover yet developed I was perfectly in tune with God, always with him in my every action, and pleased that he was pleased with me, or pissed that I had done something that would hurt him, or think less of me.   I lost all that quick, though I kept a general attitude all my life that I wanted to be the moral hero in every situation possible, no matter what it cost me...  wanted nothing to do with crime and immorality, in my definition, though I had to learn my lesson like everyone, by being burned...  inside, in the part of yourself that has to live with yourself.   I realized long ago that accepting myself was the primary anchor I had into sanity.  I accepted that the truths I believed made my lifestyle moral.  They chose me because they saw similarities with Jesus.

There were others who worshipped me as a demi-god, and I believe my disbelief in Hell and the whole Satanic myth, in way, was started by those who were on the other side of my wrath in some supernatural battle, which I had won not through the supposedly fair fight they wanted, since they outnumbered us seven to one, but by flooding them.   My ability to call floods to wipe out armies and wretched cities that had fallen into nothing more than slavery pits that I would attack and free people from, may have led to the idea of Noah, though I tend to think this writer's parable is about caring for animals.   I do not think it was meant to be taken literally.   No one writes a book about adam and eve and says nothing about how they did not end up with a bunch of inbred's etc...  if they thought people would be stupid enough to take it as anything except a parable, as in another time it was known to be.  WE HAVE FORGOTTEN TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE NORMS OF THE SOCIETIES from which the bibles came, and look at them less as scriptures that contain the exact words of God, but as the words of men sometimes inspired by God, sometimes forced to add a passage by a King, and nothing to take without editing out the salt Jesus spoke of.    I also wrote of getting rid of the salt, back in otwelve I guess... later, when the CIA murderer I wrote about earlier dropped his mask, he said, with the look of the true believer in wide, bloodshot eyes, "You have to get rid of the salt.  Don't tell them where the bones are."   I knew just what the fuck he was talking about and was stunned by the change that came over the take it all in stride, hippy, tough guy Irishman, who suddenly showed me a breadth of belief that led to murder.   I had never experienced such belief from another human being, having lived among the skeptical most of my life.    A  murderer preaching at me.  I knew nothing about bones, though later I was able to put together something  I thought was a joke, with this thought, and come to a stomach churning knowledge of how they fit together.   Realities I have to leave out of this book.   It will be in enemy hands, and in the hands of those  I gave a loyalty oath, and those who have reason to suspect me, and fear me, and they need reassurance and I save innocent lives by giving them, so it is the least I can do, a man whose words have been bullets in the past.   Present . . .  future.  

I am supposed to be sleeping.   My thoughts excite me too much.   I tell myself to think of something pleasant, and all that comes to mind is in a past now long dead, a city turned to rubble, and a countryside around the town I grew up destroyed by ISIS coming thru and meeting resistance, our last stand before they came up into the southside of Chicago, a target the racists behind the fighting wanted done quick and bloody, to free the world from the black underclass once and for all.   They expected an easy win, as they had found so far.   This was the first battle we took total command of, and of course we sent them running, long enough to secure the dunes and the surrounding five miles...  we pulled back on the last few days, brought all the of them within range of our surprises.    The napalm that would fly down onto their soldiers, cars, trucks...  missiles.  We could nuke them again, a small one, sent from one of our offcoasts subs.   I chose the napalm traps.  Most of the soldiers were on the northside of the city off duty, feeling like they were winning, not even thinking there was much fight left in the USA.   So far they had run into unprepared towns that were ordered to their deaths, and line up.... they felt they had no choice.  They had seen the reports about  ISIS and knew they would surrender in the end, because that was the only way to live.  Some would convert to Islam, be sold into slavery.   Some fought.  They turned out to have a better fate in the end.   Some made it to our resistance, we were there, ready with weapons, etc...  we could not afford to hold ground though, so we got out of the cities who we could first, the vital, and the loved... pets welcome.

The mountains of Tennessee and Kentucky, the entire Appalachian range was ready for them, had the high ground, plenty of arms.   ISIS was in for a surprise, to a degree.  We had hackers and inside people manipulating most military intel, even satellite photos were being sent out with our troops hidden.

The miraculous promise of my God, that I would go from alone to surrounded by those he would send me, the moral ones I needed, not those who first wanted me to be their king, their monarch, to display to the public and keep out of politics.   A photo op with God.


We have had to fight numerous battles to get from Iowa to Yellowstone, where the huge park had become a haven for refugees from the war.   They had contigents of Marines who had come to our side, artillery, anti aircraft battilions were in place, and more importantly, various nuclear silos were now under our control.  They could not afford to attack the area, and so far it was the only base where it was large enough I could blend in, get to the leadership and safely gather...  something I avoided as much as possible, preferring to keep the generals as far apart as possible, to keep the enemy from deciding to use the nuclear option, as I had done in Chicago to destroy their first contingency of leaders, and many of the elite themselves, as well as their so far victorious army, that was being used to scare the American public into FEMA camps, the entry path to going to their deaths.  The government had grown so grotesque they were grinding up the bodies of the dead, and feeding them back to those in the FEMA camps the night before they were shipped off, supposedly to save their food, though also I suspect because they want to acquaint ISIS with a possible food supply, as they ravaged across the USA.  

The Ghosts had given me the means to stop them, thirty some years ago now...  they were haunted by knowing all this was coming, and heartbroken over what they knew was coming for me, whom they considered the Christ.   I know that only now.  Then I just knew they were seriously, and that if called to save my country, or fight this great evil, there was no saying NO.   We all dream of having reasons to live, and I always thought mine was just to write, before the Ghosts put a gun in my hand and made me shoot four of them in the face.   Watch their torn and grotesque faces falling back into the dark water, sinking beneath the surface of white froth and human waste...  I became a nuclear power that day.   I have not written much about the surgery on my hand and will not.  The less my enemies know about this technology the better.   I did not have a nerve crackling when I set off the bombs.  We watch the official news, filled with peoples whose entire lives, relatives, friends... turned to dust.  Their tears effect me, their torn lives effect me...   I am on a lot of pills.  Pain pills for the back, energy pills, sleep pills, anti anxiety pills.  I do not take so many I am drunk all the time but I recognize the weight on my shoulders, and I will use any chemical I have to for continued functioning.

The stresses I have been put through would have killed a Human.  They started calling me superman because I saved the government, which I did for my own reasons, not wanting to add to the race I was trying to stop was at the top of the list.   I was telling the president that I could say any damn thing I wanted in my living room when I was being illegally taped, as I was, by various groups in the underground.  I set up no defense against them, they wanted to hear a revolutionary speak, they would get one, defiant and screaming and as terrifying as  I could make myself, a threat to any and all who would harm me.  A violent seeming creature, who was of course....   more violent than I would have understood.  A song, one of too many written about me when they wanted to use me in operation bluebeam and of course used rock n roll and other music as well, sang that she could not believe all the blood behind my blue eyes.

Neither could I.   Johnny Pain was my stage name, because of all the back surgeries after they took out the wings and messed up my spinal column, during a year in the hospital at five, where  I have few memories of...   meaning they were more than likely already working hypnotically on my mind, something they continued doing my entire life, without letting me know, until very late in the game, when I forced them to tell me the truth about myself.  They wanted my origin story to be a miraculous story the religious could relate to easily, find proof of in their bibles.  When I found out I would be other... well, allies let me know this was happening, and once told it made perfect sense, how I learned of things from my dreams and fantasies what was going to be the future, where in many ways I created it inadvertently, with a Magic controlled by God, and done his ways, ways which often involved a lot of Pain for me, but that was why  I am, to take on the worst pain of the humans, to heal, to hold their hands as they progressed thru the cycle of life that produced souls...




Three trucks block the road, a government roadblock and a camp behind.
  Isis was in tents climbing up into the hills behind the vehicles that were blocking the road.  The sight was peaceful, the tents glow of yellow browns and beige, the fires dancing in the hills...  a lot of tents were various colors, red, blue, yellow....  with lights inside them they glow in the night, remind me of Christmas lights...  I walked up to the road block, three trucks blocking our path.   The four guards were at alert, asking us for our identification if we were regular army, etc...   I used my eyes to kill three of the soldiers, cutting them clean in half at the waist,  watching them tumble down and their intestines spread around them...  the display works its spell, and the fourth guard goes along with us....gave us the keys to the trucks, and we moved them out of the way, then I killed with a precise, painless blast into his forehead.

I motioned for the men to back off and take cover behind the trucks, then began to walk across a hundred feet of bare grass, leading up to the chow tent, and then behind them the tents, the lives being lived.   They have women they have forced into sexual slavery with them.   I am in no position to save them from anything except this life itself, write them of as I begin to scan the camp, and a red line began weaving over the tents, starting fires, setting off screams and men with guns coming out and trying to take up positions, when I had to merely look their way and they fell dead.  I could see their heat if they were not visible in the green glow of the night vision, and the eyes did the rest.  The automatic kill setting took out anything close or aiming first, scanned the entire area of battle and even could control the muscles in my face enough to turn my head, or start to and I responded automatically as well, going along with the killing machine inn my eyes.   I could see them trying to escape into the woods, fired thru the trees, the boulders, the armored vests...   no one left alive.  We would not be located.   I regretted the women, as did my men as we searched he camp for intelligence.  They were very young.   The maddening slavery the elite had enticed their godless soldiers with ENRAGED ME.  I wanted them all dead, everyone who ever took a girl of twelve and made her a sex slave.  None of them were close to of age.  We found three older women in the feeding tent.  All dead, by precise strikes to the forehead, in almost exactly the same spot every time.

They took footage of the shooting, uploaded them.... I am sure they were playing great to our soldiers and those who looked to me for Holy Guidance.  I did not feel like I was deceiving them, when they said blood flew from my eyes.   I had heard speculation I was using lasers though that died down quick at the insane ID of anyone inventing such eyes, let alone me.   This was why my soldiers had insisted of murdering everyone who knew about the eye technology itself, not just those who doctored and nursed me.   We knew the only way to keep what we had done secret would require a means for our ends.  Or they knew.  I had to trust their military knowledge, what they knew about how to fight the shadow war.   I did not pretend that I am all knowing or any of that shit.  I listened to people on the small decisions, it was on the larger ones that I acted on what God would wish without consulting a soul, such as with LA and Chicago.

We spend a week in Yellowstone, before the arrangements are in place to get me into Colorado, something the Elite were going to try to stop at all costs.  Everything I needed was there, the area set up to be my headquarters long before I knew I would ever need one, by the operation bluebeam crew, who had given up on that idea, realizing this brainwashed boy who went awry had used their blunder to build an army stronger than theirs.   In Yellowstone we slept in tents, mourned, everyone was drinking and getting high, there were free drugs of all types for everyone, hospitals sacked.  They all had heard my sermons and how I used pills during rough times, in moderation, rather than drinking.   I told the emotional hell of this revolution would become a waking nightmare, and all they had to do was survive.  Addiction we would worry about later.

I needed them able to fight, like football players shot up by managers to get back out under the tv lights, give the a show...   ignoring the physical pain, gone by the magical shot.   I figured the same way, though the pain was emotional.  If I expected average people to get thru this extraordinary experience without extraordinary means.  I have had people bitch at me about this, that I would create a bunch of drug users... no, that was done already.   I am just a revolutionary leader who has seen the pain this causes people since man first walked upright, and this life they have invented pills to dull this horror, and I feel like it would be cruel not allow soldiers to use them, not to mention I am not hypocritical and way too honest for my position.   I have had to use the pills since learning about all the deaths, since ordering deaths.  I do not know how many died in the early years when the CIA was using me as a puppet, just that the favor I did for them bought me a license to kill that I did not know about, and I wrote blindly in my blog, violent criticism in a psycho character I had developed to comment on all the violence in the world, and how we become inured to it.  I knew of enough that my dim life was suddenly filled with a lot more ghosts.  I did not want to allow my thoughts to go there, had to compartmentalize them away for later, when they came in handy when I needed a reason to keep fighting and all  I had to do was think of their unmarked graves, hear their voices crying out for change, and swearing to them that I will not allow their deaths to be in vain.

We climb into covered pick up trucks, and take off in different directions, so as not to draw attention, planning to all meet up at the ranch in the mountains that would be my base, complete with a maze of underground tunnels that had been taken from the government, by force, and ran all the way to the new airport, the one filled with paintings of the apocalypse...

We have no more incidents on the road.   We make it to the farm in the middle of the night -- I have lost track of things like days and time and sleep patterns...  day or night, I wake up somewhere strange and immediately take a hand full of pills to stop the emotions that gather in me and I fight through for forty five minutes or so until the coffee, smokes, and pills are finally hitting me enough that I am the me I need again.   I once went thru therapy, worked out for twenty years without doing drugs, never needed them.  Had no voices clamoring at me, millions of dying lepers asking me to cure them, trying to get my attention, reaching out their smothering arms, grabbing me everywhere, tearing me apart.   I was very afraid of being eaten when I first woke up to being Jesus and all the past lives were flowing thru my mind uncontrolled...   many times in the past my flesh had been eaten to try to get some of my magic, and your churches still drink of my blood and eat of my flesh to this day...  it was not that illogical, though I cannot imagine how this looked to the people who were filming me.   I was talking to them.   I existed, The Christ, and this threw everything I had believed into question.  This was a light switch going on and my eyes adjusting the brightness.... not a slow, somber awakening.   This was meeting the Devil the first weeks out of my cover life.

I make excuses for the dead, for myself.


I become addicted to the news.  A gorgeous blonde is on at them moment, new to the field more than likely since we targeted and scared off the agents of operation mockingbird who had sold out long before, and deserved the fate my soldiers exacted on the ones we caught, though most had the money to flee, like we wanted them to.  Leave us the continent was my cry to all of them now... or die.  Their armies were beginning to desert.  They saw the film footage too of the Holy Man/The Christ/The Alien/the....   I was thought to be all kinds of things, though I demanded I be Scott, just one among many on earth...  My knowledge of who I am is obvious to any who know me, I cannot deny this.  I just do not want a big deal made out of, or to be worshipped, which is like having a false icon before GOD.   I am not God.   I am the representative of God, His Son, he has called me and I could not take more pride in anything on this world, or more sadness.    I know that He expects more of me than I feel I can give, though know I can intellectually... know  I always have, always will.

The Newscaster tells a terrified US population, '"Government forces are within days of striking the death blow to ISIS that they have been promising.  Sources in the government are saying it is all over except cleaning up operation in certain locations around the country.  Certainly things have gone back to Normal here in Washington, D.C., where they never changed in the first place."

Here lies are believed by no one at this point. People were in a panic, attempting to leave cities.  China was broadcasting the truth now as well, on what they are Calling The Truth channel, and though there was some propaganda on there for sure, they basically only had to report the truth.  We were winning everywhere, and beginning to amass troops along their line protecting the east coast.