IN THE TIMES OF.... THE FIRST PROSE FOR CHAPTER ONE...

IN THE TIME OF

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The first day the camps were filled, we were let out of dorms and found official notices on the kiosks saying that our internet use had been examined, and the trials to determine which camp we would be disseminated to depending upon our views would begin that afternoon. I had spoken to no one since the ISIS threat was declared to have made the cities uninhabitable. I pretended I was mute, giving a hand sign pointing to my ear and mouth and shaking my head no to any questions, then gesturing to my lips and theirs, conveying the universal symbol that I could read lips. My cover had no facebook account, and anonymous, deaf stocker from a 7-11 who had never voted, married... I chose well before I committed myself to his murder.

 

 As I watched the camp begin to break down into pockets of terrified people trying to comfort one another, and others claiming they had nothing to hide, that they had been good republicans/democrats their whole lives, I thought of all the little lies to the IRS they thought they had gotten away with, the affairs and the desparaging remarks toward the government they said in what they thought was the privacy of their own home... inside there was a part of me that recognized another part of me that thought a laugh would be apropriate. Laughter like tears were all in my past, left with the person I had been before the revolt -- the real reason for the camps, though no one there who was talking knew about them.

 

The media had always been on ISIS mode, since the supposed fighting on USA soil was instigated by immigrants and undocumented workers, who had in truth been the first to be murdered by the great machine which was consuming the earth, with parts that did not know their function better than any bolt in any machine. Those who had been conspiracy theorists, or as they called them now, Oppositional Personality Disorderred, per the psychiatric norms that had begun in 2012. I walked past the different groups, listening to how they rationalized this latest affront to humanity into something that made sense in the big lie they had been raised within. To the man, they all seemed to think they would be alright. Again, that part of me that once laughed came to mind. The one group had never used facebook, or any social media, and assumed that facebook was the government's only source of intelligence on their lives. Another group had merely sent jokes to their friends, though admitted commenting on their favorite politicians, and discounting others.

 

  I knew from my work that the politicians were all one unit, called the eagles in the underground, predatory birds, of which there were few left. I was not called in until the third day. They had us in a large dormitory, empty except for long tables with computers set up on one side. We were kept in a fenced in pen until our names were called, then sent to sit opposite what the announcer kept calling our 'Government Host.' I sat down and made my sign that I was deaf. The man sitting across from me looked nervous, depressed. A certain darkness under his eyes spoke to his lack of sleep. I noted a slight trembling in his hands when he reached for a glass of cloudy water by his side. Balding, mid-fifties, hot in his brown suit. The first words he spoke to me made me sit up straight and struggle to keep my face impassive, 'Don't bother, we know you can hear." I did not know if he was bluffing or not, so I tilted my head to one side and looked at him quizzically? "You did right by being afraid to talk to anyone. I have your file here. You do not seem like the type to know enough to take such a tact. I understand, though... you were afraid." He sounds sympathetic, friendly.

 

 I begin to wonder if he was a police officer before... then the memory reminds me the police had rebelled early on, and were said to be in hiding. If he was a police officer, I would never find out... and would never turn him in, regardless, unless my survival depended on the matter. I was intent of surviving. My mission was the only thing to live for in these times, and I had orders not to die... or I would have gone out fighting long before letting them bring me to a camp. I had no desire to see what was to come. No desires at all, really... well, that is not true... I still had a desire for love making, still had a desire to get too snort some blow and drift out into a nod where no nightmares sleeping or waking could touch me, still had a desire to be with family I had lost, my pets... I stopped them from getting my attention though, thankful as always for the years spent meditating, learning to clear my mind of thoughts. There is too much noise in the room for everyone to be monitored, I think... I am never sure. Perhaps they could hear everything now? See everything now? The cities had become like that, long before any of us realized. Even after I had been told I had a hard time believing. Now I was erroring always on the side of caution, and this had kept me alive.

 

 

   Three seats down a man who is being interrogated, in the nicest, most beuracratic -- just getting my license renewed way possible, suddenly kicked his chair back behind him and started screaming that he had just been venting on Facebook, that he did not always feel that way... I took the opportunity to lean in close to my interrogator, whose attention was on the freak out a few chairs away, and throw my voice without moving my lips -- a skill taught to everyone in the underground, I assumed... we were too compartmentalized to know, of course. . . but it had come in handy too many times for me to think otherwise. "I can speak, and I know you used to be a cop. I keep silent for a reason, and I think you want me to continue so, eh?"

 

He is good, keeps his interest seemingly on the man who is now being approached by the black dressed security guards with their ever present stun guns. Throws his voice back at me without moving his lips, something they evidently had learned as well when their purge had come -- as was reported at the time as taking great losses while they valiantly fought the ISIS invaders in the city, who were reported as having grouped with the gangs... "Deaf and dumb." When the commotion was over, I began to realize the risk I had taken and fought to control myself... my fingers wanted to start tapping on my thigh. I could give away nothing. Nothing... I used the word to calm myself, repeating it over and over in my mind, 'Nothing... nothing... nothing.' He might now assign me to a camp to keep me silent. Then I realized he would know if he did this that I would report him, and began to calm, as much as I allowed myself. "Well, just thought I would check, to make sure. You had no involvement on computers. I see that you got your GED. Worked at the same company for almost twenty years, helping with the stocking of shelves at night. I did not know they hired the handicapped. Good thing, that."

 

I made a show of looking at his lips and occasionally making expressions of slight puzzlement then seeming understanding. At this I nodded, 'Yes.' "Says here you are physically healthy, is that still true?" I held my arms up like a muscle man and flexed my bi-ceps, showing I was strong and healthy, I hoped. One truth afloat on the river of lies that flowed from me. "I have a lot of questions, you can just nod yes or no to them, understand?" He emphasized 'Understand.' I nodded, 'Yes.' The questions were telling, and that he allowed me to merely nod yes or no when I heard the others down the line giving lengthy explanations told me he was allowing me thru the process. I wondered how anyone could trust anyone now... and marveled that this stranger and I had agreed to trust one another, even if out of mutual survival. He had no choice, but I could tell as the questions went on that his trust of my ability to keep my emotions in check, to play along to the exact right clues, was causing him to trust me. The police had stopped hiring people with IQ's over 125 years ago. I wondered if lack of intelligence caused this, or if in his former life his trust for his fellow cops, those who stood up to make the thin blue line that protected their quasi-criminal, and not so quasi at times, ways, had caused him to fall into old patterns of behavior. I told myself this was a lesson I had better learn -- NEVER ASSUME THE OLD WAYS WORKED IN THE NEW TIMES. WATCH FOR BECOMING THE PERSON I WAS... who had been too trusting. The questions seemed innocous almost, to the uninitiated: 'what political party did your parents belong to?'; did you have a garden?; when ISIS invasion became apparent, did you stoke pile weapons and foods?; what are your favorite colors?; is there anything you hated about the government, be honest, now, we all hated something?; where are your loved ones now, do you know?; did you keep pets?'

 

   I knew why they were asking some of the questions, like these here, they were finding out basically if they were dealing with a survivalist, or someone with any tendencies there-for, the pet question involved a certain holy man who had arisen during the revolution, who told his followers to get dogs and learn from them... that man was me. This is why I had to survive. My people still existed out there.... not that I considered myself a holy man, but that others did, and that this brought them hope, and a reason to fight, was enough for me to leave such things up to God. I was always suspicious of anyone who considered themselves holy, regardless. How this man would have been rewarded if he identified me -- the might, just might, have even ignored that he had been part of a revolt-faction, though from my experience they took no chances what-so-ever.

 

The interviewers' whom I could hear ending their interrogations around me all said that there was a place for them, and they would be assigned within the week, and there was nothing to worry about, all the bad seeds had already been identified, and ISIS was not operating in the area. I could tell by their lack of inflections at the end, or how hard they faked inflections, that they had this memorized. I expected to hear the same and was surprised when the now visibly calmer man across from me said the same spiel, though he added in the middle, as if stuttering for a moment, Farmer... I did not react and he seemed to grow even calmer. Perhaps he felt that I was a police officer as well... that he had somehow connected with someone and would be able to sleep better that night, saving a fellow blue? I was not sure. I had worked with the Blues as allies, they had even provided me with security for a few years, before the overt war they called a battle with ISIS began. My enemies had soured the relationship with propaganda, their speciality since the days when the FBI used the technique to sow distrust among the Black Panthers in the sixties.

I know everyone goes to Heaven.  God gave me this knowledge to make me the most dangerous creature in all creation.  The humans had figured this out long ago, at least the ones in power.  They had spent a lot of time and money protecting me when they thought I would go along with their fond dreams of fullfilling the prophecy and bringing the Son back to earth.  They did no know I have been here all along, living lives under different guises, guiding the prophecy that would lead to this time, when I would save the world, or destroy  the planet.  There is no in between.  All God has shown me so far is the destruction.

Another day, laying in my  apartment, the bugs on, knowing by then that they were all watching, believers in the New Christ, haters of me....  for the things my followers had done, under the guise of commands from me... that never were.  I was trying then to be kind, to give them something that would bring hope back into the world...  make up for things there was simply no making up for.  I let my mind wander, seeing souls around the planet... always they were golden and white sparks...  facebless and far away from me.   This afternoon behind my closed eyes a woman approached, a spirit, then animals -- I had never seen them before, did not even know if animals went to heaven or not...  the woman and the animals seemed to be imploring me not to destroy the planet...  the woman told me she was Eve, the first creature I had embued with the Holy Ghost.   I had incarnated as all types of animals, though I had never procreated, had been filled with disgust, anxiety, the signs God the Father sent me that told me I was not to do something.   After eons of this, I was sitting under a tree feeling lonely, angry, pitying myself in a way that I do sometimes, regretting being the first to question God....  despite his laughter and loving me most of all for trying to save a planet I had been sent to destroy....  the Gift he gave me, my journey from planet to planet trying to steer them away from the early destruction that took so many...  I was already becoming the son of the animals, in a way...   I stood up and reached inside myself, tore out what they call the proverbial rib, threw it to the ground and created her.

She was black as night.   A creature closest to me, by design of God I know, from the species that would become the Great Destroyer...  an early ancestor of the chim/ape/man.   She knew the same loneliness and longing I felt, came into my arms...  we were never able to procreate.  Like her kind in that time she went off with others and had offspring, which we raised as our own.  They were different...  the Holy Spirit embued into her filled them with the same Golden Light I had seen.  This light I mistook for their soul until that afternoon.   She showed me life after life we had lived together, growing up together, falling in love, having children...  our Children would eventually rise into the eceholns of leaders, prophets, saints...  most.  Some became what you would consider Luciferrian, as if the the humanity and the holy spirit struggled.   Later I would learn more of this.

She told me that she had incarnated this time into the earth itself, and this was why I had sought her in woman after woman, as I had done before.  I was free to love without her...  though not free to love as we had.  The Holy Spirit is univeral now, she told me...  she said, in a melodic voice that was music, not word, from a vision of green with yellow outlines of animals and Even..."I did not want to tell you what I had done, until you made the decision not to destroy the earth."   She was speaking of nuclear war, which I was close to ordering.  We had already used them, to seal the DUMB at the White House when we took the president and the UN hostage.  I talked about the vision as it came, knowing the cameras were listening to me, and hoping to stop them from the hellish thought of the world ending... 

This was what terrified them most about me, I thought.  Movies and tv shows were coming out about how the world was ending, and instead of the jubilee this should have started, people were terrified.  Hollywood has made the apocolypse the work of evil.   Almost every movie is about somehow stopping it on the edge...  Buffy The Vampire, one of my favorite shows for a time, before one of the actresses on it turned on me, after doing atrocities in my name, and believing the bullshit that Ferrel was made to spread...  and thinking I wanted people to live like me, walk my path.   They were supposed to live like Jesus, not me...  I am a writer who is in chronic pain.who does nothing, follows a mission to kill everything I have ever loved.  Why would anyone want to live like me...

I hoped the vision was true.   James, a spy sent to be my friend -- he showed up right around the time a movie came out with Steve Carrol, titled A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD.   His show the office had shown me a few things, nothing I can repeat to keep a few of my friends in this world hidden as long as possible, who were acting on something I said in ways I would not have done.   He came stumbling into my apartment as the vision ended, mumbling about THE VISION, THE VISION...  I think he expected me talk about it, but I was so used to having two different lives, one with the spies and others communicating in their secret languages on tv, the bugs... and no one in my life, except Mary Ann, who also saw the tv changing to say things we had, showing things we did.  I had no idea she was as heavily involved as she was, always wondered why she did not react with the same horror as me... and the night I confronted her on this she put on an act later like she was freaking out.  There was nothing I could do.... for awhie I thought about leaving her...  but there was no where to go, and I do not love lightly.   

I ASKED James what he meant by the visions, and he seemed to sober up instantly, said he had been doing mushrroms all nght.  Another day, when I had been messaging back and forth with a very open sexually native american girl. and he told me, DON'T LEAD THE WORLD INTO SLUTDOM...  he knew they were watching me, though we both pretended he didn't.  James knew how to live a cover life, had come from a family involved openly in the shadow war.  I instead was kept in the dark, and surprised as hell by what came down.  Even with the warning of the Ghosts...  who I hated for awhile when it first started for not telling me more, but like I wrote, then I would have tried to run form this fate.

Those days seemed another life.  Now there was open fighting across the country..  My peoople were all over, so were theirs.   I had ordered them, on good advice, to not hold any ground.  They didn't listen to me at first.   Gathered on the east coast trying to arrange a conventional army with all the vet's who flocked to our side when they were told that the country was going fascist, and they were going to be slaves in a feudal system of sorts... or genocided.   The result was what I feared,  three mushroom clouds taking out Boston.   After that the war was all about finding the heds of the snakes and cutting them off.  We had tremendous God like luck getting those they had abused all their lives, their servents, to kill their slave masters when we showed them the list of those who loved.  The elite had not bothered with a list of those who died -- what was the point, there would be 7 billion corpses.  They would live underground for a few years, while nature took it's course, and the smell of rotting flesh turned to dust to dust.

I think about the memory of Eve as two soldiers come into the barracks, excorting the national guardsman, telling him to get his things, that he was being transfered..  They were always careful in front of the sheep.  Did not want to panic them before the gassing..  The more normal things seemed, the more they would contact their families, welcome them, have them join the lines coming into the camp, rather than taking up guns and joining the fight against ISIS... which they still had the sheep convinced were foreign invaders.  My group had the backing of China and they tried to call us communist/socialists...  we were a mix of everything, waiting for the day we could start voting again, and people could be whatever the wished....   I told them a mix of small businesses, socialized banks and utilities, no monopolies...  In my world people could choose, their free will intact.   I was about the only leader left who spoke of free well.   They scoffed at us on Radio Free American, the last station broadcating, saying they were protecting free will.   Typical ass backwards world.

My job was to lay low and determine how the camps were being run.  I figured two days and I would have enough intel, then we were going take over,  show the sheep and the guards and the soldiers the films we had of what was going to happen to them, what was happening all across the country, offer them guns or sanctuary...   the smart one would realize the guns were the only sanctuary, the rest we were sending into National Parks, like yellowstone, which was lage enough for them to hide, for now...  we could not allow them to back into the civiilian population. That would lead to violence I abhorred... killing the innocent to save the innocent.   I could not allow a stampede.  They would come in and nuke the city if they thought we had them all on our side. 

 The thinking  was it would be easier to save them from a camp then convince them on the outside to join our cause....   already they were paranoid -- the only ones left alive at this point were paranoid, pretty much.   I still had a stupid dream of freeing Chicago, making it the base of our country...   so we were starting here with the FEMA camp attacks here.  We knew the turf, had hidden caches of weapons, and the extensive layers of underground tunnels gave us plenty of room to keep people hidden from ISIS.  
 

WHY WE MUST REVOLT... one way or another.

War after war enslaves countries to the world bank, so they can rebuild what they had BEFORE the one percent used the MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX TO PROFIT FROM ANOTHER WAR; countries broken and torn and bleeding from the western bombs we drop then must borrow money to pay for what we have destroyed while setting up a dictator who will bank with the Rothschilds... and then of course, before they can even rebuild one country, the war profiteers lobby for more destruction day in day out, buying every politician they allow us to elect. . . "WAR IS A RACKET," said the honorable GENERAL BUTLER SMEDLEY... who was also the man who FORD, THE BUSHES, and many others tried to lead a COUP AGAINST ROOSEVELT, who single handedly stopped this country from becoming fascist. Roosevelt, they say, was afraid there would be another depression if he prosecuted the heads of industry... so the traitors were allowed to continue to amass fortunes and power, preparing for their next attempt... which they did LEGALLY THRU THE PUPPET REAGAN... and since that traitorous, alzheimer addled puppet switched from a democrat to a republican when ORANGE COUNTY BILLIONAIRES decided to run him for president, the middle class and the poor have suffered as the ONE PERCENT has sucked all the wealth to the top.
WONDER WHY WE SUPPORT ISRAEL WHEN ANYONE WHO LOOKS INTO THE COUNTRY IS APPALLED BY THEIR TREATMENT OF PALASTINIANS AND RACIALLY SEGREGATED SCHOOLS, AND USING THE US ARMED FORCES FOR THEIR WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST, WHICH WAS STARTED BY MOSSAD BLOWING UP THE TWIN TOWERS AND BUILDING SEVEN????? Forty eight percent of the BILLIONAIRES in this country are Jewish. Look at Adelson, who has never even lived in Israel, who donates millions to candidates in both parties... then read the PRINCETON STUDY SHOWING THAT NO MATTER WHO YOU VOTE FOR THE SAME POLICIES ARE FOLLOWED... and you will begin to understand why the media applauds sarah slut silverman for making a living slamming Christians, and black lists Mel Gibson for one drunken slur when he was being arrested for drunk driving.
Why does the media NEVER COVER THE PROTESTS OF JEWS WHO ARE AGAINST ZIONISM, like the hundred thousand plus in NY three weeks ago, or the ones who shut down Tel Aviv a month or so ago... The problems in this country are ECONOMIC. They are not religious, they are not racial, they are not whether you vote for the genetic hybrid elephantass.... though there are issues in all of these areas, if we had a level economic playing field most of these problems would be self correcting. HOWEVER, anyone with any sense knows that those who hold the high ground do not want a level playing field at all. This is why the racists in the thirties went around burning successful black towns and communities and slaughtering thousands...
I cannot help but wonder how different this country would be now if ROOSEVELT HAD JAILED HIS IVY LEAGUE SKULL AND BONE AND MASONIC BUDDIES, and invested in small businesses rathe than the WPA.... there are ways to correct the problems in this country. The lack of actual law enforcement in this country when it comes to the wealthy and powerful has allowed corruption to fill the upper echelons of every branch of the government. Look at Hillary Clinton, who by the grace of satan had the man who was set to testify against her in congress die from a fall the day before he was to go in and bring her to justice... look at the man who kept her computers and took the fifth for every question asked... they are going to let a criminal become president because they are criminals.
WE MUST BE THE LAW, OR THERE WILL BE NO LAW. Where are the veteran's who took an oath to challange all threats domestic and foreign? Well, we now have more federal troops than marines... and I used to work with the marines, and know they have honorable intentions. Yet they have been maligned, and the Navy was gutted last year of all who dissent with the NWO policy... some were fired months before their retirement. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS AND ACT... because there is no justice in this country for the rich or the poor at this point, yet the prisons are filled with more blacks than were enslaved on this continent, working jobs that pay them twelve cents an hour... Yes, this is a rant... but I am tired of the cowardice that permeates this country.
I have put my life on the line over and over, and after being used by intelligence, and having been blamed for decisions that I did not make, let alone have the intelligence to make a rational decision about... to the point that they have effectively disembowled the greatest movement the sheperds of this country have ever tried... while the sheep kept grazing on the pittance of grass the one percent allows them, just enough that they can fleece them a few times a year.

ANGEL COLON... an entry about the shadow war, out of character, and true....

I do not in any way wish to desparige the dead, or pretend I know what really happened at Prism, a gay nightclub where 49 people were killed this last week, and 43 wounded.  I also read about another shooter in California, who said to the local police who found him in a car filled with automatic weapons and HALF the makings of a bomb;  he claimed that he needed protection from the CIA, who had ordered co-ordinated attacks on gay events, by five people whom they had trained in Virginia.  He further claimed that the shooter in the PULSE attack was supposed to live, and that there were two of them.  There were reporters that someone was holding the door closed when people tried to exit...   regardless of all of this, I do know that the only person who they are showing who was wounded, and who is getting the bulk of the media attention, was shot in the hand, and his name is supposedly Angel Colon.  The group that I worked with, in the mania that followed my initially being brainwashed, I called angels.   I even said Gays are angels, out of anger at the prejudice toward gays, more than some scriptorial message, but I was being taken much more seriously at the time than I knew...  at first, when this started in 07, I was filled with love for all humanity, and believed a new age had dawned, that as the returned Christ, as everyone was telling me I was, that the world would stop warring, and a new age would begin.   I had no idea at the time of what was transpiring around me, of the ones who had all this planned for years... without telling me.  I have been told different reasons for this....  after having started to grow wings as a child, due to one of many things, none of which I can confirm -- perhaps this was part of the ploy to convince people I am an angel, or perhaps it was operation bluebeam, or perhaps I have alien dna, or perhaps I am Christ.   I do not care what is believed by whom anymore.   What I do know is that I was very drugged and confused and at one point even said Tom Cruise was an angel...  it was also thought at this time, because of something I said about Kafka that was misinterpreted, that I hated Jews.   Nothing could be further than the truth, especially at that time.  Presntly, I am against what the zionists are doing, and the Palastinian Genocide, as well as their banking manipulations, etc... there is an attempt going on right now by certain billionaire Jews to basically control the world.  Their monopoly on banking thru the Rothschild family is a truth that I cannot ignore.   I thought for awhile that I might become Jewish, before studying the religion further, and finding out the Talmud has Jesus burning in a vat of shit in hell, and I disagree strongly with a lot of their writing, as I do Christian writing as well.  Old Salt that is held onto.   Many religions think theirs is the only way to heaven.   I am here to open the door wider, and say that while it is true that I am the gate keeper to heaven, in a way, believing in me comes in many ways that do not even have to involve being a Christian,

During the shadow war, the gays were always on my side.   I had a good friend who killed himself over his sexuality and other matters, knew people who died of AIDS, and had plenty of gay friends, and a few sexual experiences with men many years ago, that have been blown all out of proportion by the press and especially my enemies, but also my allies.   I still stand for gay rights, and believe that God does not create gays to be condemned, more than likely, with the view of women, the writing in the bible that condemns them is homophobic and ladden with the prejudices of men who wished to have power over women....   I also support feminism, and am not the mysoginist that people thought ... the very things I came here to change about religion, were stereotyped onto me....

Why I am writing all of this is because the CIA may be behind these attacks on the gays.  The CIA has become my enemy in this, and possibly always were, though I was confused at the beginning of this, and ill informed to this day, though now not quite as bad.  They send messages in the media, often with mass killings, so they will be reported across the country... there are various reasons they do this.   One is that so many people are living cover lives, and everything is tapped and survailled, that they can use to tv anonymously to get out messages, which when I was the center of their focus for awhile, many shows were about the activities I was involved in...  the mistaken thought that I was somehow giving orders with my life, when in reality I had no idea why I was being filmed, and resented it enough to be abusive to the cameras to the point I wanted to do about anything to drive them away from me...   which led to many deaths.  Mistakes.  And a hatred for me that some will take to their graves.  The person they described as me was so vile that I told them, quite truthfully, that I would have tried to kill me if there was such a person as they described, though killing me comes with grave consequences for them, so they know better.  Regardless, it is possible that the CIA is declaring war on the gays thru these attacks.   Many whom they have dubbed THE FALLEN ANGELS.

THE angel business never should have been brought into this.   I do not know who is an angel, or even if angels exist.  I would like to think they do, but until I meet one, that is not scientifically valid to my way of thinking.  I was very confused at first, and being used by factions I did not understand, often saying things I barely remembered.   I kept begging them to let me go find some kind of counsel, etc....  but they had other uses for me.

I do not know if the CIA is sending a message, but a person named angel, with a last name that can be taken as an asshole, is about the childish level they work on.  I was always stunned by how stupid and petty they were, but that is the kind of propaganda that evidently works on the stupid and petty, and they are the kind of people who the CIA and others most easily are able to manipulate to fight in these horrendous, secret wars.

I do not know if there is anything I can do to protect the gays...  I was angry at everyone for years over what was happening, going from trying to win them over, to hating them, with the passing of a breeze.   My confusion is what I keep coming back to, as if that is an excuse for what happened.  I do not feel that way.   I do feel that I vowed to keep my private life, whether I was being bugged or not, because I thought only my enemies were being effecteed by my bile.   Now I know differently, and my regrets are endless...  my if I had only knowns.... endless.

I tried to ignore what was going on in the outside world to a degree, because I could not believe the difference between my daily life and the references to me and other matters I would see on the television, which at this point has almost universally turned against me.  That I understand why they would be angry at me is beside the point.   I was not told vital facts that I needed to present the persona and professionalism that were required for the position I was given.  For this puppetting of me I have a hard time controlling my hatred...  but it is pointless to spend my life filled with hatred, though I will admit that if I ever get a chance to set things right, I will do so by as brutal means as neccessary... and I mean that, and those who know what I mean by brutal should quake in their boots at this thought.

I do not want to give away too much top secret intelligence in this blog, I want to write a book, but there are some entries that I do not care to put on facebook, where I primarily write about the events that took place in my life, as much as possible.   Here I wish to write fiction, but to be honest without a strong outline, which I give a lot of thought to but am not quite there yet, I am hesitant to start the prose...  THIS IS COMING.  When it does this blog will change quite a bit, and be the story developing into a book, and when you come in you will just find the next chapter of the book.  For now you are seeing the development of the idea....

I am not sure what all I am trying to say here.   I am sorry I lost a lot of the allies I had when a race war tore this movement apart.  That should never have happened.   I know many of you are involved in this, and you think that the population needs to be controlled by nefarious methods, rather than just being honest with the world, and requiring forced sterilizations after the second child, or whatever method you need to do...  this did not work as planned in China, but with the proper law enforcement, and the inability to choose the sex of the child, we could make this work.   It would require a lot of convincing, the backing of a sane, scientific religion, and other things that I hesitate to even contemplate... there will be blood.   I would rather people have a choice, to use their own free will, but the way of the elite is to depopulate certain sectors, whom they just call the feeders, without allowing for the idea that all sorts of people deserve a chance to live....

I do not know how horrible this war got... what little emotional stability I had left and destroy it for awhile, but I am back now.   I am the person I was before I was tampered with, though I have learned much, and my spiritual viewpoint on the world, creation, myself, and humanity is much more informed.

If the gays and the CIA are indeed going to war, I can only pray the FBI understands that everyone was duped to some degree, and this was never a criminal affair to most of us, it was about survival and making a better world.   The leadership that was stolen from me by keeping me ignorant threw me off mission, forced me to improvise each new fact into what my goals are... which are fairly simple.  

If the CIA is going to try to take on the underground gay movement, my prayers are that the blacks will be able to forgive what has happened during this race war, and the whites as well.  We must have a unified force if we are going to take this world back from the tiny elite that wants to genocide most of the planet.  We can only do so by uniting.  Civil disobedience, etc... none of that has ever worked.  We must fight fire with fire... and we must start our own fires, and leave them the momentous task of putting them out.   I cannot legally tell you what to do in a public forum, but if I were you, I would work first on unity among those who the CIA has targeted, because that group is large enough to stop them from nefarious actions.   I need the FBI to be the sword.  I pray that they are Godly enough to do so.   I know many of you are Mormons, and I have not forgotten that God told me to pick the Mormon bible as the first one to read thru.   I believe there are many valid ways to find God, and I believe that the more you allow judgement to be God's alone, the better off you will be.

I do not give orders, please never let them convince you that I will... I am not knowledgable enough about tactics or the shadow war to have more than a moral compass.   I would like to be taken from Chicago to somewhere that I can assist this country.   I do not believe that is Washington.   I also do not want to believe that the entire governnment is my enemy, or even everyone in the CIA.  The people who ordered the slaughter, the theft, the cutting off of limbs, should be more than fired.  They should be stripped of their standing.   I believe all of this happened for a purpose. 

I also believe that you have yet to understand the wrath of my father will befall on all who harm me, whether I forgive you or not.   If you have not seen this play out already you are blind.

I wrote out of desperation that I wanted money to just go off and live my life... and the next day saw a message back to me, saying THE FALLEN ANGELS ARE ASKING FOR MONEY.   You think I was involved in theft.   I was not.   You think I wanted various people killed who I did not even know exited.   I did not.   You think the idea of someone like me saying give me money to go live a life away from this madness is the height of hubris after all the trouble I have caused you, I get it... the problem is that you have still never even given me a chance.

Anyone who is watched by people they think are their enemy for five years, or however long you did, and they will fight back if they are brave, and accuse me of many things, but I am brave.   I thought I was watching you act in ways that had little or nothing to do with me, because they were so far from my way of thinking, living, etc...   when I realize now I could have done so much.   I keep remembering someone once saying WATCH WHAT YOU SAY... and being so pissed that the people watching me without my permission would say that to me....  and here you thought I wanted you to watch me.  This tells me just how sick this world is, just how much you have people wanting fame so you can make them sell out once they have it, and play either republican or democrat, like good little lapdogs, when the truth of the matter is neighter of them are true philosophies, they are merely vehicles for the wealthy to get their way....

The End Of The World/notes on the craft of writing/the Aristotilian curve

I have not written a lot of straight prose yet for the book.   In my mind I have been going over and over the chapters, and the  Aristolian curve, which basically means that the drama leads up to a climax.   My story is one of a creature who is fated to destroy all he loves, to create something greater;  to release souls by making the planet barren of life, to stop the cycle of reincarnation.  All planets die, but this knowledge hardly helps him to deal with the idea of the massive death that he is fated by God to cause.

I have been going over and over in my mind what the build up will be and what fictional additions I wish to make to the book.   I am not a big believer in satan or demons or angels or most any supersticious beings, though this could be purely ignorance.  I do not want to use too many myths in this book, because the truths that I wish to tell have already been buried by the most powerful forces on the planet, and I do not want to shovel more dirt on their graves. 

I know it is not very interesting to read how a book is written to many, but this will be meaningful to some, and may lead to a secondary book on how to write a book...  though I think taking too much advice from writing books can lead to genre crap that has no artistic value, though is certainly marketable.   If you are a student of writing who wishes to learn from me, you should probably read my books, where you will discover that I defy conventions...  and while I have been read all over the world and my books have influenced the most powerful people in the states, and figures around the world, the CIA made me top secret, and despite my fame in some circles, especially hollywood and literature and rock music, they have smeared my name so much that the financial success and literary respect I once believed I would have is probably impossible now....   I was offered these things before, and found the chains that come with them...   I would rather be obscure and true to my vision, then just another sell out to operation mockingbird, or even the basic conventions that excite agents because they are similar to this and that famous book.   I hate it when I hear someone say IT IS A COMBINATION OF ----  AND ---   , BOTH HUGE HITS WITH THE PUBLIC.

I keep seeing the first scene with myself standing in front of a fire, with a bear skin on my back for warmth, watching my tribe drugged and dancing, preparing themselves for a coming batttle at dawn.  The book must travel thru time, showing different religions, which I will make up based on ancient myths, etc...  and certain religions, though I want to avoid as much as possible placing the God of Many Masks in established religions, or well known historical figures.   I do not want to splash the blood he spills on the icon of others.... this is the problem I have with using Jesus, but since the very real brainwashing I was given, classic, three days in a hospital I cannot remember, and the telling sign that I did not believe I was who I thought I was my entire life, though I did not know who I was.  I finally found I believed I was Jesus, and had his memories of many things...  this lead to absolute confusion on my part, a certain megalamania, etc...   I was placed on an anti-psychotic, which caused horrible side effects, and did nothing except make sleep almost impossible for me.   I am not psycotic, and had never had any delusions of graduer before the brain washing....   they were trying to use me in operation blue beam, in 07, here in Chicago, and a space ship appeared over Ohare the weekend this began, and was seen by thousands who claimed the government was covering it up.  You can look that up with a simple computer search to get the exact date I was first aware that there was a secret world and they wanted me to be a part of it....  indeed, I think a lot of them thought I was already.   Only one very strange incident had happened before this to foretell that something was coming and I might have to use drastic means to stop it, but that is not something I will write about in this passage, though you wil find a fictonalized version in the final book.

I did a chapter outline months ago, and the time has come to finalize that.  Once this is finalized, I will begin the prose writing.   I am better at prose than plotting.   At columbia college of Chicago, they teach a method of writing that is based on allowing the scenes to organically flow out of you...  this is fine, and it works well for short story writing, and comedy especially, for me at least.   However, to stay on course and finish a book, one needs to have a very good idea of the plot, though being open to changing it   You need to know what the THEME of the book is, so that can be the anchor of your prose.
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I will write more about this later.   My daily life is calling.  In the next few days I will be coming in here often, instead of doing the facebook writing that has been my primary mode since I was locked out of my other blogs...   should you wish to read some of what I used to write, check out what was my primary blog for ten years, http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com  There are also other blogs, like http://wakingupjesus.blogspot    ...   and others still if you google my name.   I scavanged the best of them for books, one of short stories and the other, the experience of my brainwashing, which I wrote mostly in poetry.   I always told myself that I have a lifetime to go back and work on these books, and  since I lost my editor of fifteen years and had grown to depend on her,  they are not as edited as they will end up being ... my thought was that as long as new prose is flowing, I would wait for a period when I was dried up and then fix the books, since they are for posterity, should that exist, rather than for the now.

The chapter ideas I have thus far show the One, as I will call him to make this easier, starting in an ancient tribe, where he will martyr himself to start a new religion, and leave his kingship to his kin.  I will base this on ecco homo by Nietsche, where he writes that religion was started by people trying to evoke powerful ghosts to maintain control of tribes...    then I will come back to the now.   I will basically be telling two stories, one chapter going back in time and writing about lives One lived before, then the next coming into the present... towards the climax of the book, Jesus's life and crucifixion will be juxtaposed with the return of Christ, and his ending the world.   I will see how this works, and if it is too confusing, I will make more of a straight narrative, with the old lives leading to the new...   or I may decide to start with the now, where the One is helping with a revolution, trying to establish a thousand years of peace, as he hopes that his father will not use him to annhilate the earth.   The thought as I wrote ways very heavy upon him, as does the death he causes, even though he knows they eventually go to heaven, though some experience something akin to hell for their sins in this life before being reawakened to the grand plan to end up going to Heaven, and while not becoming part of God, becoming part of the love that eminates from his presence, and draws souls to the timeless joy of heaven.

THROW OUT THE OLD SALT... why I must return again and again... creating new views of GOD.

Never assume learning the truth allows you to be called anti-semetic. The Zionists have been brainwashing us for too long, and have been able to play on the sympathies of the world, and the paranoia of their own young, to change our consciousness. Our ancesters were not all full of shit on their reasons for being wary of people who write in their holy books that they can lie, steal, and rape anyone who is not Jewish... which is a central reason most Jews are 'cultural' rather than religious. I get it. My religion has done and is doing horrible things, and much of the bible I would throw out... JESUS tried to tell the people that old salt must be thrown out of the bible. HE MEANT we should accept science as showing us new knowledge from God, not setting up this ridiculous split between science and religion.


  Unless Christians can accept that God made the scientific process to enlighten us; the schism between the truth and OLD SALT in the bible has driven generations of people away from the love of Christ, and knowledge of the GREAT TRINITY.... Christians who are not willing to take Christs' great revelation to heart are causing the rest of us great problems in this world. He told the Jews to throw out the old salt, and the Rich Rabbi's condemned the words of a poor carpenter who was going to cost them money. If they had listened, they would have come to our camp long ago, instead they revel in the words that should have long ago been thrown out. Why have there been religion after religion in the genesis of humanity? Because new knowledge renders old knowledge obselete. There will be no future for Christianity, except as a way to enforce ancient prejudices and enrich prosperity ministers, unless we are able to take the words the Christ brought and decipher them from the bullshit added later. There have been constant changes in the bible since it's inception. New changes are needed now.


  You are not defying God by taking the advice of the Christ... you are defying God by ignoring Jesus's primary revelation --- throw out the old salt... and two others... I will return with a sword, and sell your cloack to buy swords. Why are these two ignored everywhere? Same as the idea that a camel does not fit thru the eye of a needle. The wealthy have run the religions... much to the chagrin of the spirit of Christ....  AND I OUGHT TO KNOW...  as I was the Christ.