I have come down hard on you guy, because you showed one truth. that hid more than it illumed. Still, I get angry when I see myself portrayed as an idiot, who wants to display my penis to the world. I was losing my mind by that point, feeling like the world in the tv and my day to day had no connection hardly at all... other than the mysterious matters of various groups showing up at the beach, which one man told me was now a Holy Place. I awoke there in a way, before the brainwashing, had this flash I was being watched, which I was. I grew manic from there on in, and eventually had the seizure, which led to them getting me for three days, blank to me, of brainwashing. I came to with notes written on my arms babbling about the tv talking to me.... and classic signs of brain washing, like knowing I was not the person who I thought I was, that I was someone else, maybe something else... and I begin to look at holy books for messages.
I made many mistakes. I knew the feed was live sometimes. I often wondered if the public could even see those broadcasts. I never imagined the viewers could see me or I would have, certainly, behaved differently. I feel like I have been displayed, right, and at times I told you stories, drifted into being Christ, though my main objective was to figure out what you were doing, and to keep you from seeing my fear. To stop you from forcing me to live a certain way because I was being watched by spies was my only form of rebellion, I thought.
The cognitive dissonance and general confusion... you expected a plan laid out and ready to be fulfilled. That was the plan on my side as well, but I was religious then, and that world makes this one seem impermanent to me. I was many things I am not know. But I was never who they say I am.
I see them now on fox, who I accept is presently my enemy, though we will see who buys them out, on gotham, where once I was called the joker by my enemies because I had a comedy show, and did not want power or money but political change... no one could understand that I was reacting to life as Christ, and still do. Back then though I did not even know what I could and could not do, etc... but the billionaires were afraid of us socialists, so they gave heath ledger the role of... they killed him for playing me like that, so n the next one they called the character Bane, when my stage name was Pain... and talked about him having the city hostage, with his nuclear bomb. The one thing they got right was that I was the only one who stood up for the women, and I stayed behind to fight... though I did not get mangled up, and do not ever want a city to feel like I would hold them hostage with a nuclear bomb. My plans do not involve such matters... unless evoked because provoked, and that would take sticks and stones at my door. No need for such barbarity in this world.
Then I did something they decided made me superman, saved the government, for good or bad, because I did not know anything about the army that was involved. I was asked three impossible questions by them, the kind a real leader has to have a lot of intelligence to make, which I was woefully lacking in. I said no eagles. I said why ny ... why engl.... when your answer was Gold, I could only react by saying why... and no. I do not know why I was consulted, like I am a shaman pulling answers from the sky. This time around you must be prepared to think for yourself, lead yourself, and avoid any cult like behavior.
Batman had to fight Superman then.... I have not been able to watch that one, because it will tell me shit I do not know, and display me in ways that piss me off... a friend told me the end.... I was ordered to commit suicide by all these people, like that would be a great end for me. Instead, I was interrogated, which was much better. Then I learned what was really going on, etc.
I know that movie will be trigger after trigger... I am constantly pained and obsessed and trying to determine the best route and watching the signs. I know that my place, regardess of how I am viewed by my enemies, must be used to the benefit of those who fight for the people, in the unions versus corporation world we live in now. I want unions across this planet, really... or give the plants to the employees, with the owner making a bit more, but not some bezo who treats employees like shit.
Back to the point, I wrote the other day how I wanted to torture people, collaborators and I named Rogen and Dylan. I do not excuse Dylan, he really is the prince of hell... he will enjoy fame until it turns to infamy, when the truth of his use comes out. Rogen twisted on preacher to slam the blood line of christ, and the infamous masturbation scene in my fucking watched over life. I have to forgive everyone, because it disembowels their ability to offend me.... and in the end, I learned more about a few things than my allies let me know.
They thought I wanted them watching, when I did not know they were there... showed me a clip of russel crowe playing some character madly driving up his hits on the internet. i guess they figured if I did not want money, I wanted watched. Fuck no. And it had to be the ratty fucking green thing I wore because I just no longer gave a damn.. stoned as hell and writing and listening to music.... to see myself standing there that day it all hit home, as the child said fuck fuck fuck over and over again.... I watched the actors surprise, and to this day I feel like shit about it like so many things.
Asked to make a sophie's choice I refused and fought. I was kept from the knowledge of power and your pain. I wrote of my own experience with the pain being part of my awakening, to this revolution, ran by the Christ, and they showed me a kid in an RV, also from one of my stories, ripping out one of his teeth.
I never thought you needed pain to enter battle... maybe now I think it helps.... not sure? I did not in my wildest dreams think my paltry efforts would have any effect at all. Little did I know a huge group of folk were waiting for this day, when there would be one world, ruled over by the king of kings. A man known as rational, clear thinking, etc... even stoned. Suddenly find others had plans for his life almost since birth... now they believed their waiting was over, and this angel, or Christ, had awakened.... they poured the belief onto me and I swam in the love of God, amazed at the glory of the word glowing thru me when I should have been concerned with the world.
I skip ahead, and look back at that person, and think, Lord, if he knew what he was in for, what his words would have done. He would have cut out his tongue, chopped off his arms... painted quite and alone, staying away from words altogether. Whatever. There was a song that used to ask if they wondered if this was my plan from the start. No, not in any way at all was this my plan.
My plan was for a world that did not exist, the world of lies we are all raised within. Here, in the real world, the complexities, and the death, make me cautious of what to believe. I want one of my sources to be true, the one who points out my allies... if so they have grown. I pray that my efforts have removed the shit and the medals from my name. I am a preacher of sorts. No longer a thesbipain. Those days died with the victims of my rages at my petty problems. The rage that kept me free of terror, effected my logic as well, obviously... I acted as Christ would, not as a rational person would. In some situations, I have to be more flexible to accomplish my mission, and who the fuck am I to judge anyone? Behavior I will vent about, but damn, I never want people killed. And I understand this will happen..
I am all over the place. I suppose with the cia I can assume you will get this if I leave it as a note.
I have yet to address you except with rage since I learned your tactics. Then you try to get rid of me, tell people I left the battlefield voluntarily... kill yourself you told me, the only way out your agent, a murderer, informed me... yes, right.
I am not going to allow you to crucify me on your absurdity. Let alone kill me without a mean and dirty and dusty debauchery of death. My religion tells me this is how the explosions of fire and lightening in me ignite, when I lose my temper. You have never seen me lose my temper, just angry. Never saw me smash things, etc... Never saw me physically attack anyone, or be attacked. You have heard me as I mumbled my stupid fantasies of revenge, that premeditation made look absurd and infantile in the end... to think of such things taken seriously is enough for me to wish I was not religious, that my mission was pure revolution... both. My job in the end is the Chaplain. I should have agreed to this from the beginning.
I did want the soldiers to know I backed them, and always have, and always will. I pray they fight for the laws of humanity, not military discipline... that they no longer become cheap mercenaries for the oil companies. I pray our politicians no longer use your blood to get the deal through on those oil pipelines.
All souls go to Heaven. Knowing this makes me the most effective destroyers in God's creation. I am the destruction of life on planets, leaving barren meteor fields in my passing... I am known by the mystics, and just by chance myths, as the apocylpse -- not the feared one of your made up humyn beliefs. I offer mercy killings where I cannot work with a species enough to bring them peace, and they are on the verge of falling into a hell of their own making.
I took out the lasers from this on line novel...
For most of humynkinds history I have led slave revolts, started religions, or steered them, was an acolyte to your holy men.appearing at times as an Angel, a burning bush.... I am not an angel. Angels can fall. I cannot fall. I earned my position by being the first creature in all of the cosmos to say No to God. My kind collects souls from destroyed planets... entrophy says they all go. He would send those from my planet to give creatures a mercy death, though this was not explained to me... we followed orders out of love of God, our Father -- so to speak, He has no sex, I merely follow your traditions.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
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