This is True Story Time... where you can see the skeletan on which will hang the flesh of the book...

CONFESSIONS OF A SHADOW WARRIOR
... this is a weird glimpse into my life, as one who was courted by the elite, and taught a secret language used by underground groups to dileniate themselves from one another, etc... weird stuff they do with tv... there are hundreds of thousands of people in the usa, and God knows how many around the world, living cover lives, while they engage in a very life and death battle among various ruling families, underground groups representing repressed groups like gays and blacks and latinos in the usa, and then there is me... who was drafted into this world, brought in to play a part I knew nothing about, or who my backers were or what they were doing, because that was need to know in the spy world.
To get messages out to someone in deep cover, put it on a tv show, or even a movie. Fiction to most, unless you know what to look for. Comedies, newscastts, sitcoms, even children's shows. I have seen them on all of these during periods of intense conflict. Think about how there is virtually no other way to get signals out to people under surveillance or living in deep cover and this will be a duh moment for you, even though it sounds... out there. I work in this world, and it is indeed, out there.
I have many problems in my life, some life and death, and it would be rather selfish of me to think too much about my own happiness, anyways. I spent a rather frivilous amount of time working on my own happiness, aa meetings for twenty years, more therapists than I can remember, etc... always looking to be happy, but feeling that life sucked and there was nothing I could do about the vile world I saw around me because my philoshophiical views were the opposite of what was happening; I wanted everyone to have good jobs, buy houses, etc... instead of all the money going to the one percent. Last year sixty percent of the money made in this country went to that one percent. This is not how it used to be at all... it used to be one or ten percent. The basic person has thus lost the life of their parents, buying a house, having great insurance, a parent to stay home with kids, etc... we are losing. Until I can really have more of an effect on these things, in a way, nothing else matters to me. Always I am thinking of these things. Mary Ann is always asking me if I am mad or something because of the look on my face, and yeah I might be mad at some enemy I am thinking about or worried about the war or what my next move will be, etc... how it will end is not always up to me, except ultimatly.... one major decision. Anyways, I l have recently seen a huge reference to the shadow war on wgn that showed people wearing jackets that were all the codes in the shadow war for different groups -- it had been awhile since I had seen them all represented in a way that said the tv was about to make a reference to the shadow war.... I had been a king in this for awhile, though it was never my intention... I have the nickname superman in that world now... as these groups sang the song, YESTERDAY, by the beatles, purple letters cam flashing on the screen, FARWELL TO THE KING... but underneath it was superman leading all these superhero's. Puzzling. I DO NOT want to be a king, because I do not believe a bloodline makes me special, and do not want to make people think it does, because then all these other unqualified idiots who had grandparents who did some heroic deed, or took over a country, stay nobility, and try to pretend they are an example to their people, and thus have a purpose. Which is bullshit. Most monarchies shut down, or became ceremonial posts, but like England they have palaces and are supported by the public, though she was the richest woman in the world... anyways, I do not think I had best tell you what they meant on wgn, because that is taking you rather deep into their symbols, but it is both good and bad, I SUPPOSE. I was once supported by a lot of groups I disagree with. They did things I would not allow. I would rather work with people who either share my beliefs. SADLY, most of the controlling families are so rich that they do not want to see a guy like make them poorer, by giving money stolen by banks and stockbrokers back to the people who do the work. A lot of dark places between me and the end of this mission. New lows. I find no satisfaction in winning anymore. It all seems a waste, even having to fight for such things, but they want a fight so if I want to win, I have to fight them.
I tried very hard to avoid this at first... then I felt I was being tortured, and threatrened... I had no idea why, other than spurring on some protests with my writing... fed up, I did what I do --I FOUGHT BACK WITH EVERY FUCKING THING I HAD -- I will never forget the night I wrote in my blog, "Attack, blitzkreig, take no prisoners, can't afford them..." and all hell broke loose across the country. People did not know who I represented so all kinds of groups tried to rebel, mostly communist types, but hollywood sorts, too.... then I was told they lost, and instead they were still out there fighting. For awhile I abandoned them to make myself feel happy... ier. Now... the mission fails when I give up, not when others die, or walk away from my forces. I will never give up. My mission wins. The only question is who will be left standing among the tiny bit of the population that will be OUR ENEMY? The only question... they should be asking right now is if we will let them live or not... and acting accordingly.

THE NOW... AS WE REVOLT ACROSS THE USA...

The assault began small.  Sniper rifles and gasoline.   I had thought I could use this strategy once before, but instead I used it to get the craziest elements of the movement under control.  Early in the days, in twenty of seven, I watched Jeremiah Johnson a lot, and listened to a John Denver song all one night, crying, thinking of my dead friend, david gilbert, and crying for the first time in decades, with the exception of my father's death, and even then two bouts of fifteen minutes and I shut it down.   This time it was a catherisis like no other.  The enemies would make sport of me for this night, others understood that I was mourning more than a lost friend, I was morning all that was to come and all that had been...   some thought this meant I wanted Colorao, and I HEARD THIS REPORTED ON THE NEWS, when a man all dressed in black went into the Colorado state house with an m sixteen and yelled out, THE EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO, before he got into a shoot out with guards and was shot down.  He went in expecting to die, just to get a message out to his fellow soldiers.   I did not know enough then to say NO I DO NOT... I was not the Emperor, I am the Christ, very different beings, and I THOUGHT they knew as much.   Instead every word that came out of my mouth was allegedly fraut with meaning... when this just was not so.


That was eight years ago, when various groups were trying to use me as a puppet, make me ruler of the world, establish that one world government for them, that THEY NOT I would control...  just be their Golden Calf for their false religions.    Now I have learned their way and gained enough support to know that I can save this country.   The cure is not as bloody as what is planned for us... total genocide of everyone you know...  everyone you love.  This is what we fight against.  Those who are on that short list to live like to say TOO MANY PEOPLE SINK THE BOAT...  like we needed to let a lot of people drown to save a few others...  but this is not the case at all, this is people with yachts who will not toss a dying man the crusts they cut off their sandwiches.

The personal works.  Snipers answer the call all across the country, and in a few days a third of the billionaires are dead, and the rest are fleeing the country.  The shooters escaped back into thei cover lives with no causalties on our side.  Our access to military equipment is unending with the military at home supporting our cause, fighting with us, again. 

The last time the revolt was to bring everyone together, and all I ended up seeing were all their differences, and the sick agendas and thinking that pervard those who have taken it upon themselves to rule this world from behind the scenes.   I was kept so ignorant of events that I now look back and think I would have done about everything difrerently, had I not been brainwashed, then put on a drug that made me half mad.   Humans were trying to wake me up, had grown impatient waiting for me to become myself, the Christ or angel, or whatever it was...   bad move.   I did not wake up, I was merely horrified to suddenly find myself so effected by a mind rape.

I too believe that anything for the cause is true, but a person deserves a choice;  you do not go in and tamper with peoples minds.   I will put a stop to this, and some will pay the ultimate price for making this decision for others.   We will never stoop to this level.  Want in and we want you in, mkae your choice...  we might kill ya afterwards for security reasons if you way no, but that is a hell of a lot better than being brainwashed.  




As I told them much later, when they were filming me even in my bathroom, that there was a reason little is told about Jesus life, because most of it was mundane, and most of his words not worthy of being in a Holy text.... yet they expected my entire life to be a message, because once I cried out I AM CHRIST AND EVERTHING I DO IS SIGNIFICANT... this is as true of me almost as much as it is true for you.

The Class War in the states will establish a new standard for running a country, a way for an indebted mess of an oligarchy can be cleaned up by a small revolutionary force.  Behind the scenes, in the shadows, the people who appear where there seems to be no one. 

We must make this country one where it is dangerous to cross the population too much;   where the government fears us, rather than fears the corporations who control with their contributions whether the politicians will be re-elected.  The oligarchy declared war on the masses, and showed me their planned genocide, and for a few days I considered that I could do this kinder, and better, than mere humans...  mass murder to save a planet.  This is how my literature was interpreted, that I believe there were too many humans, as the rich and powerful do. 

I WALKED AWAY FROM THEIR PLANS to kill the average person, or the radicals, or anyone who would not go along with their plans.   They courted me and offered me a demons delights to join up with their cause, to give them the Grace of God for their genocide of seven billion.   The opposition existed, and they came with me when I said NO MORE... the system which has created the media and politics was exposed to me.  Those in the media are told they have a place in the deep underground holes where they will live in great comfort, while the humans onthe surface are destroyed by diseases, then cleaned up by the army...  then they will re-emerge, on a planet where the wild can againg grow, and their luscious lifestyles are not killing all the resources...  or like now, killing people by using that money on luxury items while children starve across the planet, and bombed out homes have sent refugees from the middle east scrambling to avoid the bombings and snipers and...  I said No, No....

I do not need millions to do what I do.  I need a life that is regular, and has none of the madness I must deal with to basically take on the entire world.  ALL THE WORLD WILL BE YOUR ENEMY, from Watership Downs.   Many have come to my side and I do not mean to say I alone have this feeling...  this is a feeling we all must have to battle the overwhelming odds...

We must fight in a new way.   I sent them out seven months ago, snipers to begin taking out the top twenty eight families that have half the wealth of the usa.   They need to be stripped of their excess, and this money spread around so the many can thrive, not the few.  We take most of their money, leave then ten million.   If  a human cannot live their lives on this amount, that is their fucking problem.  

They will leave our shores... take their money... leave behind their factories and property and the employees who really ran everything anyways, and give these profits back to them, where they are deserved....  We are going stronger than I could have dreamt of, but THE Lord works His will against any odds, and I know we win in the end, so somedays I am just going thru the motions of a history I already know, and have examined from the future, and know ....  many things better left ahead of us.   The families were not prepared for an attack on their complete bloodline.

We acted on two consequtive days, after tracking down forty seven relativess of the families who lived without body guards, we acted...   some were camping, enjoying the summer.  Swimming in their pools.   They send me their breast cams of the attacks.  I look for better ways we could have operated.   Next we hit the funerals for the families... another unexpected attack though there was some resistance, our snipers were ready with their heads between crosses thru their scopes when we emerged from our suv's.   Their shots seemed to come simultaneously, as they all saw the signal of a car door opened and they pulled back their triggers in unison.  The bodies fell among the crowd and the screams came.  One man leans down to take a gun from one of the body guards, the left side of his head explodes and he slumps down on the body.

Mortars are fired from three directions, creating a triangle of shrap metal shredding the crowd...  m sixteens roar from all directions into the moaning wounded, into the obviously dead, head shots for every body on the field of fire.

The families fled, and deposited most of their fortunes in our accounts, after being told they could keep ten million and their lives, or be hunted down and killed slow.  All behind the scenes.  The other groups know just what we have done, but our people are living cover lives, hard to identify.  Contacted on the internet by their leader, then trusting no one outsisde their small cell of friends from small towns and cities who had known each other their entire lives, the requirement to keep agents of the enemy getting in... though of course some lied, agents got in...  I spotted them easily.


The Oligarchy is alarmed that I would use forces like this, breakaing all the rules of the families that rule the planet, with their underground kings, as they tried to make me, though I was too moral for their throne, and never believed much in monarchies...  I am one of those give my castles away to sell to give the money to the poor guys.  If I was Pope, I would sell all the Gold around the vatican and end starvation.   They have proven the excess that can invade the priesthoods that built up around my name, and created myths for me that never happened.

The bible and all holy books almost are filled with OLD SALT, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THROWN OUT...  instead, the Holy Books have become filled with notions from the past that science has shown to be false.  The bible should have changed then, a prophet for the new times... and while there are those who pretend to do this by giving sermons onthe topic, not that they ever followed thru.

I am here to change the world in the hope that God and the mother earth, whom you have possibly mortally wounded....  will give you more time.   i do not have much hope this will help, but I do not think the desire would be so strong in me if there was no possibility.   I have a vision of being the bomb waiting to go off.  The explosion.

The magic in me is much stronger than I know.  When arising I am stunned by the endless power I tap into, and sure that I must control this feeling or...    I am not sure, but having no reason to use destructive magic, why would I?   Miracles, I do not know if they are miracles...  to me this is a feeling of intense anger like I have only felt once before, and the city of Chicago flooded that night and I was blamed, after I truly lost my temper and a storm like none before hit the city.

I understand why so many believe what I have said, or what they learned about me... though the new words I write must be the only place where you take or not suggestions from me.

0ur threat of an assault on Bohemian Grove caused them to cancel.  We flew a plane over dripping cans filled with  glass tubes of nitro, dropping them out of the plane, the damned owl they seem to worship took a direct hit, and is no more... the bulidings were destroyed, the woods burning and blown to splinters...   They would never again gather there and plan their wars and use sex slaves and...   the sickening excess that they bonded over, showing their true selves to one another, no longer pretending they are the christians they show the public, sleeping with men and women, boys and girls, all slaves drugged out and ordered to do whatever they asked.   These types run our world... they will at least no longer meet here.

The Bilderburg meeting is easier, a hotel, and they know as much....  we do not want this group to live through the assualt, so we bring in surface to air missiles, mortars, grenade launchers, guys inside to disable the elevators and block set charges to blow up the stairs....

They have guards all around the hotel.  We operate from half a mile out.  When they first hear our assault they all begin concentrating on watching for the next missile to fire.  From behind them, our men have blown the stairs, and finish their mission by taking out the guards on their way out, bleding in with the crowds fleeing the buildings, no threat until they were close enough to take out the next soldier.      

We have word from the white house that they want the ability to leave the country unharmed, along with what is left of the politicians.  Many have already fled.  Soldiers took them to be part of the oligarchy and took out the excessively rich ones...  who would not agree to our terms.  Many fought, those we made examples of, skinning them alive and hanging their bodies from  a building on state street, where thousands would pass them, and the news could not help but report.  ARMED guards were statioed there night and day.   Two drive by incidents did not understand body armor, and were hunted down by those they thought dead and learned what actually being dead was all about.

An american day....

He calls and I tell him to come by.  M. does not trust him.  He is a spy for an organization I cannot identify, though he has passed me material in the past, and shown up each time I was hospitilized to talk to me, and teach me.   He came up to me one day in the day roon, sat down beside me and began looking at a drawing I was doing which had two tombstones, one with the nazi swastika and the other with the jewish star of David -- I was thinking if such groups could bury their hatred, then we would finally find peace on this planet.  No one else of course would have taken the drawing this way. 

"They will throw you in jail if you go after the Hell's Angel's."
I saw how he was associating the swastika with Hell's Angel's and was pissed at the suggestion I would go after this biker group.   I responded, "The Hell's Angel's were founded by world war two vet's...'   I came off pissed off.   I should have explained to him what I meant by the tombstones.  I was an artist in my mind then, not really caring how people interpreted my work.   I was wrong to do so, I think now, though at the time I was just drawing, and people could take it how they wanted it.  I did not try to put my politics or didactical views thru or even underlying metaphors with some secret meaning just below the surface of my words;  instead, I believed that the over all politics and philosophies of my books would be obvious, coming from the person whom I am.   THOUGH I assumed the reader would know at heart I was peaceful, seeking ways to help the world, and convinced that what ever I could contribute to this process, I had to do.  My talent is writing, my bullets I once called metaphoric words, until my words did become bullets, when the words of revolution I wrote produced results;   I did not expect an army to come at my cry.   I felt unknown, alone, that no one was listening, even though the tv seemed to want to comment on my ever move, take my conversations or statements and turn them into the plots of shows, or to criticize me, etc...

We played the war out in the media, as well.  They were projecting me into people's houses who bought a certain cable company, which even changed it's name to have X as the first letter --  I had went by general X for a long time in the war, and wrote under his name about a revolution that he was in the middle of, in some future not yet here.  I wrote them on facebook, thinking I would cull them all together in a book.

I DO NOT really want to meet Jim, but he comes over while M. is at work, brings me a purse with ID in it for a young women, a student ID for Iowa University, and tells me he found it on the golf course, and there was blood all over.   I am paranoid, not sure I can believe him..  too much had happened the year before for me to trust anyone.  Just drafted into the world of spies and learning they had been around me my whole life, that my family was filled with them, and all of this was kept from me for a reason, so they could use me, in a plan laid out before I was five years old.

I was placed here By GOD to give me a world wide audience with the leaders of the world, which I gained when my surfacing as Christ shook the entire world, and believers everyone were ecstatic, and crazed, and ready for the words of God.  Ready to worship, willing to prepare for the end I bring, the apocolypse sent by God.  I related to the comic the SILVER SURFER, as he came to earth, leading a creature that would destroy the planet to his latest matter to ingest.   I do not decide the day the end of the earth comes, God the Father would not place such a burden on me, because I would NEVER willingly just end the world, anymore than most would willingly die.  On the cross, I wanted my Father to save me, not leave me as an example of how your sins can die, and you can be redeemed, that your sins, laid upon my whipped and stone torn chest as I hang bleeding on this cross...  pray them away.  Become a different being on earth.  This can be done.

I later learn the purse, the description of blood, the cute college woman in the drivers license and the student id, was a way of trying to tell me there had been a massacre, of people who had come to town to be near Jesus.  That someone was fighting against my movement to the point that they were killing.  I knew there had been deaths.   When I first woke up I made a few demands that were not meant, was left in pain, ignorance, suddenly being watched and heard by people who were using tv and the radio to describe my life, comment on me.  I felt under attack and wrote violently, one night called for an attack, a blitzkreig, never once thinking anything would happen.

I had not even begun yet to try to imagine what it is like for people to know I exist.  I would follow such a being anywhere they led, and I understand this.   I would maybe not question where the teaching was leading.   Had I ONLY BEEN TEACHING... NO, I was under attack for things that I had nothing to do with.  Did not know about until accused.  What could I do but sit back wth a poker face and hear the odd reports, see some scene from my life commented on;  one night I gave some pills out to some young people, a couple girls and a vet who I knew would become a friend, however rude he came off...  the next night a show has alex baldwin offering pills to people in his office... a funny scene out of nowhere to some viewers, a comment on me to those who knew about me.

I had no idea why people thought the smallest thing I did mattered.  I thought I was in a spy game, because within the media, because in my real life, nothing new really happened... for many years, until they started sending members of all the different groups to meet me.  One day a group, all dressed in black, filled the park I walked into, were everywhere.  I had told them they could bring people in to see me, but they must bring avg. people, not rich people who bought a ticket.  Then groups began to come to my side to help in the world wide war we were waging;   one day a Scotsman appeared in my path in full dress, we said hello to one another...  He had a pipe and stared at me the entire time I walked by with my dog.   Another day all gays filled the park when I went down.   Often they borrowed dogs from people in the neighborhood so they could walk by me in the park.  I said hello to everyone.

I could tell the world had changed, but I had no idea how much.  I had avoided meeting people I should have in the beginning out of a feeling of disgust and anxiety that came over me, which in my religious state of mind told me that my moral qualms were confirmed by God...  often I acted in ways my brain could not comprehend.  I turned down money I had never seen and I suspected was taken by criminal means, and was certainly payment for something I had done, more out of ignorance than strategy;   I protected the country by attacking an allie, or thought I was protecting the country;   I was very ignorant at the time of being in the heart of the Evil Empire, the USA.   I love the country and hate a lot of the government.  Certainly not all of it.  Just congress, the senate, and the presidency.  The politicians.  ETCETERA.


THEY HAD BEATEN TO DEATH HUNDREDS, MAYBE THOUSANDS, OF COLLEGE GIRLS AND OTHERS TO DEATH.   Just to get them off the streets of Chicago.  Did away with the bodies, like only a private army could.  When they announced my presence, they brought in the second largest army in the world to control Chicago.   This was a new phenomena.  A creature that had grown wings at five, and was now manifesting supernatural powers... they thought he was an angel, always made that assumption... but his first week waking up to who he was from the slumber of being a Son of Man into a Son OF God, he kept telling them he was THE CHRIST, NOT AN ANGEL...

Now people died when I called for an attack.  They did not know who I reall represented, the Islamic sleeper cells in the states, the communist ones, the lesbian seperatists ones... so many groups had been preparing for a revolution and here was this dynamic leader, a God to many, a revolutionary leader to almost all, with a promise of a win win win win win stratedgy.  They showed me a woman in a full Burka with a sub machine gun attacking a nuclear plant, a college kid in an RV pulling out a tooth to feel the pain, as I wrote about it, that would lead to the undreamt dream, of revolution.  I was writing of my own pain, from my back, but soliders from long back had cut themselves, got themselves into pain before a fight....  other tiny clips. 

I was not told what happened.   Hints came in of some people having their arms cut off... all this long after Bush tried to fire twenty five cia guys for something ....  no one said what....  and I though NO... WROTE kill anyone who goes after the CIA... heard a reporter asking, GUESS WHO HAS GONE RIGHT WING.   I had not gone right wing.   I just did not trust Bush and figured if he was doing it, it was wrong.   I misjudged the man.   I was at first thinking I could bring the world together, when in fact this world understands only war.   They could not allow the Peace I wanted, at first...   I changed, maybe from the brain washing, maybe from feeling loyal to the soldiers I was suddenly working with, I ended up going along, until their enemies became mine.   In a made up war, running from some old plan to take over the middle east, put in dictators who would keep the oil flowing and the oligarchy safe to rob the poor.  

I was brain washed and tossed out into a war.  Brain washed boy gone awry...  God is ironic.  He sent the real Christ into their fake Christ.   Hiding me in a russian Bushka doll depticing a christ on a cross.  That they had to open again and again to finally get to the last doll, the smallest.     If not for my own personal mystic experiences I would chalk this notion of who I am up to the brainwashing.  Much more has happened to prove to my scientific mind that something is going on here that no matter how I explain it, people will still be terrified, nostalgic, guilty, fearing the hell I described.  

I would learn of thousands and thousands of bodies created in the states.  How anyone could order such things, was beyond me and I recoiled from the knowledge, wanting to call it all lies, like I had the first references to my acts I saw in the medie.   One show had me leading a group of women revolutionaries, taking over a factory, and then telling them that the last thing they would do is go o prison and people would write songs about them.  Many had written songs about me.   I had never led a group of women in a revolution, went out with this group, even owned a gun..  Lies, lies, lies... I refused to watch the show again, Bones, about two fbi agents.   They were trying to tell me that my words had inspired this, and this was the result.  Chicago is a Buffalo Jail, where I am told I can wander around and never leave.  A lot of communists from California who fought with me were shipped to Chicago, after being stipped of all their money.   The one who told me abou this said they ripped his dreads out BY HAND.  Tortured.  They did not cut off his arms, but his life as a record producer had been changed to a guy who lived with his neat freak, ass hole uncle and working at micdonalds.  This is how america treats those who have not really broken a crime, just tried to change the world, and were too effective.  I do not know everything that happened.  To this day.  Back then I knew nothing....


He brought over the purse, told me of the blood all over the golf course.  I thought he was trying to set me up for maybe being framed by someone, so I threw the purse in the garbage.   If I had found her purse when i was driving cab I would have turned it in... he told me he tried to turn it in to a cop and they would not take it, and maybe I should try taking it to a woman cop.    Later, I found out, due to a supposed clerical era, I had a bond put out on me that the forms I had said I should show up on a day after a bound had already been put out on me.  When I found out about the bond, I realized if I had tried to turn the purse in like he said, i would be in jail, with a possibly murdered woman's purse in my hands, to boot....  

But it was all just a mesage that peaceful protest was not going to work...  time for me to do something.  Should have went after them that day, stopped them from harming the sheep, but only years later would I gain the knowledge and power to stop them.

The ATTACK ON FREE WILL

A creature knows that God did not create them a particular way so that they were condemned to hell.  Others take the Calvinistic view that some are Chosen by God to go to heaven or hell from birth.  Others believe they are Chosen for being a certain religion, that they claim is the only way to worship the Father in ways that will being the soul to His side.  All souls go to Heaven, is one of the hardest concepts for a human to understand, yet the chains and self hatred and judgements we live by dissolve in the face of this one fact.  God does see the flight of each sparrow, He does not try to control the flight of every sparrow -- some will sour and swoop thru a forest chasing thie mate back to the nest, others will become splatters of blood on the windows of skyscrapers.  He see's the sins and sorrows and saintliness of all humans.

Hell is a moment I realized early on, when Christopher Hitchens asked me, why would an alien preach about heaven and hell, having been possibly been told that the child, who they had filmed and studied for a year in hospital when I WAS FIVE, was the audience for the UFO that appeared over Ohare airport, while the Christians and others saw an entirely different scene unfolding, the return of Christ... confused, drugged, reeling from the brainwashing and suddenly being placed on a world stage, and used as a puppet god to create a one world religion, leading to a one world government.   He asked me, the day AFTER I preached to a believing president, George Bush, about how the Christ had returned and certain behavior would get them thrown into hell.

I can barely remember the night, just the passion as I stood at the window, the voice of the God of Many Masks, who they knew as Jesus, preached his first sermon.  The next morning Hitchens came on my TV asking why an alien would care about heaven and hell...  and I thought for a moment and realized I had never believed in Hell... so I told them as much, and that when souls died the first thing I did was reassure them that there is no hell.   Like Jesus on the cross forsaken, there is a time after death when souls confront all the evil and good they have done in their last life, and learn a bit more about being human, a bit more of a historian for a race and time that would day no longer exist except in the stories they told, as they did their part of telling the endless story of God to one another in the heavens...  This moment could be described as Hell.   Time is very different in soul.   To God and I this passes during the spark of souls travel from the planet to heaven, where their next life is chosen, and the inevitable gravity of earth once more sucks their life back into another life.

Right now there are more humans on the planet than have ever lived... all the humans of the past a smaller number than exist right now.  A saturation point that allows new souls to enter into life,


Free Will in the heavens consistst of absolute trust that God will send them back into the life where they are needed.   Trusting like they have never trusted before, feeling loved and taken care of in ways unimaginable to the confines of flesh...   there is always a moment of regret as I am sucked down to earth to reborn, to have an infants brain that forgets all about who I am until the tie comes for me to fullfill the mission I am on..  in some lives this does not require revealing very much of myself, though it is difficult to hide who I am from holy people.

The ways I have been used started with a religion being created far away from me, so distant from my every day life that I joked about this but never would have thought people were following my life as if I were a Holy Man who wanted his every moment recorded.  Now I have no clue how different people look at me.  This is not going to be why I write this book.  If I never sell a copy, it will make no difference to me,in a way... though I would like add to the spiritual solace that is required to face the end of the world without panic....

Every tv show and movie fights the apocolypes, while good Christians long for the day when the Son will come to take them home.  Death is only the beginning.   I know I will not reach most of you this time, but I am hoping the pillars that Samson is chainged to willl be brought crashing down on the evil that runs this planet.  The evil that used my words and life to steal your free will.  I would never do such a thing.  Taking a humans free will stops the from growing, creating, being with God in their own unique way....

No one is qualified to judge other human beings except in the most basic law and order matters.  We can call a situation unjust, but we have no right to declare the entire person evil... though we have a requrement that the person's flesh is in the way of our plans, we will reset them, take their lives in the prayer that by doing so they will be born into a better world.  

Military discipline even must be qualified with the ability of individual soldiers, regardless of rank, can express moral concerns about a mission and just not do them if a lot of civilian causalties are goig to be involved.   I read on the news all the time that some leader of a group we are fighting has been been bombed or droned out of existence, and they never say how many others died in the attack....

Keep your free will.  Think for yourself.   If someone decides they can come into your mind uninvited, or to take control, you must flee...   I will NEVER ask for such a thing.   I will NEVER ask you to leave your morality behind to do somethinng.     

In The Beginning... how I became the Son.

VERY FIRST DRAFT


I was fascinated, curious, stunned, in LOVE with my creations;  the rythmn of planets filling with life and growing immense trees and stunning fauna and animals of every variation, many sentient.  He had no need to consider time passing.  No need to feel anything more than love for the creatures in the cosmos.   Closest to him is a planet, dubbed by his Son later, Heaven, covered in warm, blue salt water, ten to five feet, calm, with only the gentlest of movement.   One creature lived here, tubular, attatched to the ocean floor, a circle of blue, then purple, then blue again... waving slightly with the rythn of the ocean.   He looked at the creature and wondered what the creature was experiencing looking at Him.   Never occured to Him before to try to see the world as one creature, His view was so much more than any of them could ever comprehend.

He was surprised to find a mind different than His own inside the creature, and not surprised;  he knew this yet had never seen with the eyes of one of the creatures.  The being was ecstatic almost with the experience of being in the presence of Pure Love.   There was no denying a higher power to this creature, or what God represented.  The creatures on the planet loved one another with almost the same intensity they loved the God who filled their simple existence with the ultimate happiness, a coat of pure love from a God respected and wondrous who took delight in them.  

Other worlds were further from His face,   the huge brown circle covered in lightening, surrounded by seven other circles in muted blues, grays, browns...  all covered in the same yellow chaos of lightening zig zagging across the face.  All surrounded by what looked like green granite, marbled with white.  Emanating pure love and curiosity and creativity and.... creating and destroying over ad over again with planets, watching souls develop on the cocoon planets from which they would one day fly, as their progression went from flesh to soul.     The souls journeyed to see Him, instinctively followed the Love emanating in the cosmos.

On Heaven though there was no death, no danger of the planet dying, they had been created to last, essentially, forever.   From inside the creature, he found He could see the world as the one he called Son as He thought of him,  he could still not quite understand why a creature would be worship Him, an act He had never wished though he had seen countless religions reaching toward him with churches, and sacrifices and societies and....  These creatures had learned words, communication, not from their planet, where words were not used, images and experiences were given to the other creatures in whole...  but from their travels.   God had made them to know their souls could travel out thru the cosmos.

'My son, your question....'
The son acknowledged in his mind that he had a question, and without asking God answered.  "The planets have to end, to release the souls.  They will all cry out for release of their pain, and for me to take away death itself.  All planets end."

God sensed the creature was displeased with His answer.   He was surprised that He had even taken up the idea of seeing Himself through this creature, let alone that the paradise He lived within could be criticized.  God saw all and knew there were planets in great crises, filled with slaves and murderers and... conquers and the conquered, the survival instinct, the one constant in all the creatures across the cosmos,, came out in the most peculiar, and usually destructive manners.

The creature who had never known pain in himself, asked, "I want to ease their pain.  Answer their prayers.  Show them not to fear the end, the inevitable, ever ready to come, end.   I would that you created them all like ours, and death was no more."

'You are what you are...  they are what they are.  Your soul is on the surface of your flesh, no doubts of my love could ever enter your mind, as you know it does the further they are from me.  I would like to tell them I don't care."

God could see where the creatures' question led, had always known this moment would happen, as all moments were happening to Him at once.  The Son would ask to be able to be more than a watcher, to become these creatures.  To live with them.  Learn the ways of their generations as the lives passed thru their brief stint on a planet. 

"They are lost.  They do not know about you.  They live telling lies to themselves about you.   You can see this, you know...   What I will ask."
"You wish to be the answer to their prayers.  To shape their view of me, to bring solace to flesh that exists ...   and is gone...  become soul."   God seeing the cosmos thru the limited view of the Son could see a slowing of time, a moment of focusing entirely on a place...  instead of experiencing all at once, a sight/experience beyond word, beyond defining each stroke of the canvas.

No more words were spoken.  I AM became.  The pain drew me as much as the Love of God drew the souls to Him.   His immense size makes God visible from distances unmeasurable to humyns, where they became perfectly still, pure experience, curiosity, encased in the love and trust and knowing all was never for naught...  the Presence of God a reward mocking any other pleasure in the imagination of all of the creatures in creation....

I know of time as always happening.  The only way I can see in the linear perspective is to become the Son of man, on this planet..  or another animal.  Or a plant.  Or a rock that over a million years dissolves on an ocean edge.   Lately humans, with the rise of consciousness, have been my focus, the other souls on the planet were plant and animal, and had never left the genetic tracks laid out by the Lord, never lost the idea that there was more to them, an electricity, a soul, sensed from one to another, that would live on...  each kill meant a release, not a mourning...  unless the kill was a creature emotionally attached, another survival instinct for breeding.

I see humans as more animalistic than they see themselves.  I have too recent seen them covered in hair barely able to advance out onto the plains from the trees that they lived within, high in the branches, more monkey than man.   I see humyns from the first moment they began to use their minds for other than hunting, sex, play, affection and sleep. Religions began to arise, trying to explain that death was meaningful, to bandage the emotional wounds of losing another tribe member.  Breeding and dying at rapid rates, ravaged by diseases, wars, poverty...  prosperous, happy, peaceful, loving...  wherever I look on the planet I see an entirely different scene.


I am here to once more shepherd the sheep, who have been infested with predators,   wearing the air of a good flock, while planning a massacre.   The Mission this time is the one which I have tried to prepare hymans for since the beginning of time.  Every flood of a town seemed like the end of the world to the superstitious folk who for most of humynkind's existence dominated their consciousness.  Every generation had a preacher saying the end was coming, projecting their own death onto everyone in the tribe.

Most of History only during periods of hysteria have people believed the world was about to end.  Due to my being displayed to the public by those who discovered the young boy who started growing wings  I caused a sensation across the world when they announced me.  Some thought I was an alien, and a UFO appeared over Ohare in 07 the weekend this started -- look it up.  Most of my story is true.  Only a few stories and most names are left out to protect the innocent and the not so innocent, per our agreement, which I am compelled by my nature to keep, though I must write my sermons.

There will be those who are comforted by my words and presence.   Others will remember only the harm and mayhem that surrounded my life.  Hated.  I understand why.  I accept that they hate an imaginary me in their minds.   I once hated God as well, as  a Human, wrote athiestic tracts criticizing brutally all religions, and jokingly writing about a basically made up animosity for a comedy concite, but also a hot anger that the faith that had brought me such comfort, the prayers that had brought peace to my sould for most of my life, now seemed like a stupid waste of time when they occured to me, as some problem overwhelmed me and kept me awake in the night.

This is typical of many of the lives I lead.  Change is fought by those in power.  Small changes brought up in the halls of power would be the way I would prefer to accomplishment my mission, but in this time of world wide communication, I find the only real tool that would work, and of course, of course, this is where God has placed me.  THE HALLS OF POWER ARE RANCID AND CORRUPT, A DEN OF THEIVES WHO LEGALIZE THEIR CRIMES. 

This is not always the case, but it is systimatic in the country where I begin my life as the God of Many Masks... I prefer just to be called Scott in this life.   Jesus was Jesus, a creation of His time, a preacher with a certain mission, to introduce the idea of creating other Holy books based on the good the Jews had learned, while also throwing out the old salt that the rich rabbi's clung to, making the temples a mockerty of money making and free meat for the fat rulers of their theocracy, complete with courts for Jews, who were sworn to never talk about another Jews' crimes to the Goyim.   

They expected their messiah to lead a war, take over the world, and install them as the Chosen people, even as they act in vile manners, Israel, that make me forsake you... and indeed, fight you toe to toe after your attacks on Christian, and history of slaughtering your enemies in mass, such as the 82 percent Jewish Bolsheviks in Russia, who took a particular pleasure in butchering Christians, from 120 million to 160 million, dwarfing what Hitler did to them, and terrifying the world.

I cannot stereotype.  No religion or race or sex or...  can make me see you as other than souls.   I am not as concerned with human deaths as you are, though I do not like them and grow very, very mean if the person is close to me.  This I have in common with all, yet only a few others know the history of humyns enough to realize the blood we have spilled, and this was my life to be in the center of a war, where many died, and some because I thought I knew what to do, ordered brutal measures, the monster hunter gone native.


Since that moment I have traveled the planets where life was becoming conscious enouogh to ask the question, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DIE?   The soul asks this question all over the cosmos.   He did not realize at first that God, out of concern for Him, made the Son a mercy killer.   Taking out planets before the horrorible shortages, environmental, invasion, whatever was coming in their future if God did not take some action.  Most often God was too distant from the pain of creation to be aware of it anymore than one billionth bit of a thought,  thru the eyes of the Son, He could feel what the cratures felt... 

God is not I and I am God.  A difficult sentence to serve up.