He calls and I tell him to come by. M. does not trust him. He is a spy for an organization I cannot identify, though he has passed me material in the past, and shown up each time I was hospitilized to talk to me, and teach me. He came up to me one day in the day roon, sat down beside me and began looking at a drawing I was doing which had two tombstones, one with the nazi swastika and the other with the jewish star of David -- I was thinking if such groups could bury their hatred, then we would finally find peace on this planet. No one else of course would have taken the drawing this way.
"They will throw you in jail if you go after the Hell's Angel's."
I saw how he was associating the swastika with Hell's Angel's and was pissed at the suggestion I would go after this biker group. I responded, "The Hell's Angel's were founded by world war two vet's...' I came off pissed off. I should have explained to him what I meant by the tombstones. I was an artist in my mind then, not really caring how people interpreted my work. I was wrong to do so, I think now, though at the time I was just drawing, and people could take it how they wanted it. I did not try to put my politics or didactical views thru or even underlying metaphors with some secret meaning just below the surface of my words; instead, I believed that the over all politics and philosophies of my books would be obvious, coming from the person whom I am. THOUGH I assumed the reader would know at heart I was peaceful, seeking ways to help the world, and convinced that what ever I could contribute to this process, I had to do. My talent is writing, my bullets I once called metaphoric words, until my words did become bullets, when the words of revolution I wrote produced results; I did not expect an army to come at my cry. I felt unknown, alone, that no one was listening, even though the tv seemed to want to comment on my ever move, take my conversations or statements and turn them into the plots of shows, or to criticize me, etc...
We played the war out in the media, as well. They were projecting me into people's houses who bought a certain cable company, which even changed it's name to have X as the first letter -- I had went by general X for a long time in the war, and wrote under his name about a revolution that he was in the middle of, in some future not yet here. I wrote them on facebook, thinking I would cull them all together in a book.
I DO NOT really want to meet Jim, but he comes over while M. is at work, brings me a purse with ID in it for a young women, a student ID for Iowa University, and tells me he found it on the golf course, and there was blood all over. I am paranoid, not sure I can believe him.. too much had happened the year before for me to trust anyone. Just drafted into the world of spies and learning they had been around me my whole life, that my family was filled with them, and all of this was kept from me for a reason, so they could use me, in a plan laid out before I was five years old.
I was placed here By GOD to give me a world wide audience with the leaders of the world, which I gained when my surfacing as Christ shook the entire world, and believers everyone were ecstatic, and crazed, and ready for the words of God. Ready to worship, willing to prepare for the end I bring, the apocolypse sent by God. I related to the comic the SILVER SURFER, as he came to earth, leading a creature that would destroy the planet to his latest matter to ingest. I do not decide the day the end of the earth comes, God the Father would not place such a burden on me, because I would NEVER willingly just end the world, anymore than most would willingly die. On the cross, I wanted my Father to save me, not leave me as an example of how your sins can die, and you can be redeemed, that your sins, laid upon my whipped and stone torn chest as I hang bleeding on this cross... pray them away. Become a different being on earth. This can be done.
I later learn the purse, the description of blood, the cute college woman in the drivers license and the student id, was a way of trying to tell me there had been a massacre, of people who had come to town to be near Jesus. That someone was fighting against my movement to the point that they were killing. I knew there had been deaths. When I first woke up I made a few demands that were not meant, was left in pain, ignorance, suddenly being watched and heard by people who were using tv and the radio to describe my life, comment on me. I felt under attack and wrote violently, one night called for an attack, a blitzkreig, never once thinking anything would happen.
I had not even begun yet to try to imagine what it is like for people to know I exist. I would follow such a being anywhere they led, and I understand this. I would maybe not question where the teaching was leading. Had I ONLY BEEN TEACHING... NO, I was under attack for things that I had nothing to do with. Did not know about until accused. What could I do but sit back wth a poker face and hear the odd reports, see some scene from my life commented on; one night I gave some pills out to some young people, a couple girls and a vet who I knew would become a friend, however rude he came off... the next night a show has alex baldwin offering pills to people in his office... a funny scene out of nowhere to some viewers, a comment on me to those who knew about me.
I had no idea why people thought the smallest thing I did mattered. I thought I was in a spy game, because within the media, because in my real life, nothing new really happened... for many years, until they started sending members of all the different groups to meet me. One day a group, all dressed in black, filled the park I walked into, were everywhere. I had told them they could bring people in to see me, but they must bring avg. people, not rich people who bought a ticket. Then groups began to come to my side to help in the world wide war we were waging; one day a Scotsman appeared in my path in full dress, we said hello to one another... He had a pipe and stared at me the entire time I walked by with my dog. Another day all gays filled the park when I went down. Often they borrowed dogs from people in the neighborhood so they could walk by me in the park. I said hello to everyone.
I could tell the world had changed, but I had no idea how much. I had avoided meeting people I should have in the beginning out of a feeling of disgust and anxiety that came over me, which in my religious state of mind told me that my moral qualms were confirmed by God... often I acted in ways my brain could not comprehend. I turned down money I had never seen and I suspected was taken by criminal means, and was certainly payment for something I had done, more out of ignorance than strategy; I protected the country by attacking an allie, or thought I was protecting the country; I was very ignorant at the time of being in the heart of the Evil Empire, the USA. I love the country and hate a lot of the government. Certainly not all of it. Just congress, the senate, and the presidency. The politicians. ETCETERA.
THEY HAD BEATEN TO DEATH HUNDREDS, MAYBE THOUSANDS, OF COLLEGE GIRLS AND OTHERS TO DEATH. Just to get them off the streets of Chicago. Did away with the bodies, like only a private army could. When they announced my presence, they brought in the second largest army in the world to control Chicago. This was a new phenomena. A creature that had grown wings at five, and was now manifesting supernatural powers... they thought he was an angel, always made that assumption... but his first week waking up to who he was from the slumber of being a Son of Man into a Son OF God, he kept telling them he was THE CHRIST, NOT AN ANGEL...
Now people died when I called for an attack. They did not know who I reall represented, the Islamic sleeper cells in the states, the communist ones, the lesbian seperatists ones... so many groups had been preparing for a revolution and here was this dynamic leader, a God to many, a revolutionary leader to almost all, with a promise of a win win win win win stratedgy. They showed me a woman in a full Burka with a sub machine gun attacking a nuclear plant, a college kid in an RV pulling out a tooth to feel the pain, as I wrote about it, that would lead to the undreamt dream, of revolution. I was writing of my own pain, from my back, but soliders from long back had cut themselves, got themselves into pain before a fight.... other tiny clips.
I was not told what happened. Hints came in of some people having their arms cut off... all this long after Bush tried to fire twenty five cia guys for something .... no one said what.... and I though NO... WROTE kill anyone who goes after the CIA... heard a reporter asking, GUESS WHO HAS GONE RIGHT WING. I had not gone right wing. I just did not trust Bush and figured if he was doing it, it was wrong. I misjudged the man. I was at first thinking I could bring the world together, when in fact this world understands only war. They could not allow the Peace I wanted, at first... I changed, maybe from the brain washing, maybe from feeling loyal to the soldiers I was suddenly working with, I ended up going along, until their enemies became mine. In a made up war, running from some old plan to take over the middle east, put in dictators who would keep the oil flowing and the oligarchy safe to rob the poor.
I was brain washed and tossed out into a war. Brain washed boy gone awry... God is ironic. He sent the real Christ into their fake Christ. Hiding me in a russian Bushka doll depticing a christ on a cross. That they had to open again and again to finally get to the last doll, the smallest. If not for my own personal mystic experiences I would chalk this notion of who I am up to the brainwashing. Much more has happened to prove to my scientific mind that something is going on here that no matter how I explain it, people will still be terrified, nostalgic, guilty, fearing the hell I described.
I would learn of thousands and thousands of bodies created in the states. How anyone could order such things, was beyond me and I recoiled from the knowledge, wanting to call it all lies, like I had the first references to my acts I saw in the medie. One show had me leading a group of women revolutionaries, taking over a factory, and then telling them that the last thing they would do is go o prison and people would write songs about them. Many had written songs about me. I had never led a group of women in a revolution, went out with this group, even owned a gun.. Lies, lies, lies... I refused to watch the show again, Bones, about two fbi agents. They were trying to tell me that my words had inspired this, and this was the result. Chicago is a Buffalo Jail, where I am told I can wander around and never leave. A lot of communists from California who fought with me were shipped to Chicago, after being stipped of all their money. The one who told me abou this said they ripped his dreads out BY HAND. Tortured. They did not cut off his arms, but his life as a record producer had been changed to a guy who lived with his neat freak, ass hole uncle and working at micdonalds. This is how america treats those who have not really broken a crime, just tried to change the world, and were too effective. I do not know everything that happened. To this day. Back then I knew nothing....
He brought over the purse, told me of the blood all over the golf course. I thought he was trying to set me up for maybe being framed by someone, so I threw the purse in the garbage. If I had found her purse when i was driving cab I would have turned it in... he told me he tried to turn it in to a cop and they would not take it, and maybe I should try taking it to a woman cop. Later, I found out, due to a supposed clerical era, I had a bond put out on me that the forms I had said I should show up on a day after a bound had already been put out on me. When I found out about the bond, I realized if I had tried to turn the purse in like he said, i would be in jail, with a possibly murdered woman's purse in my hands, to boot....
But it was all just a mesage that peaceful protest was not going to work... time for me to do something. Should have went after them that day, stopped them from harming the sheep, but only years later would I gain the knowledge and power to stop them.
All souls go to Heaven. Knowing this makes me the most effective destroyers in God's creation. I am the destruction of life on planets, leaving barren meteor fields in my passing... I am known by the mystics, and just by chance myths, as the apocylpse -- not the feared one of your made up humyn beliefs. I offer mercy killings where I cannot work with a species enough to bring them peace, and they are on the verge of falling into a hell of their own making.
I took out the lasers from this on line novel...
For most of humynkinds history I have led slave revolts, started religions, or steered them, was an acolyte to your holy men.appearing at times as an Angel, a burning bush.... I am not an angel. Angels can fall. I cannot fall. I earned my position by being the first creature in all of the cosmos to say No to God. My kind collects souls from destroyed planets... entrophy says they all go. He would send those from my planet to give creatures a mercy death, though this was not explained to me... we followed orders out of love of God, our Father -- so to speak, He has no sex, I merely follow your traditions.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
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