There is a timelessness that comes over me when I lay down and try to sleep. I slip back to the beginnings of this conflict, amazed as the first time at most of the shit that happened. There was a long between time, after the first two revolutions. Around four years. I was shut out pretty much from what they were doing, and the groups for the most part had gone back to doing what they had done before I arrived, and tried to offer them a different way of doing things, and ran into a wall of my own ignorance again and again.
Back then I sat in a warm apartment in Chicago with two cats, mary ann, her mother... writing in blindness again. Feeling like the only thing I can really do wrong is give up, and tell any last person who believed in me that I was abandoning them. I was a criminal in the worlds eyes during this time, and after I added confronting even the Jews whom I had saved, not popular with my old allies, a term I use loosely. I felt as I had always during this time working with intelligence entirely alone. Back then only mary ann had witnessed the events, and she had orders to get angry when I tried to discuss it, and feigned forgetfulness. There is a part of her inside that is stone cold her own, that would kill me to survive and be over it without a tear.
Instead I wrote my words on facebook, even as I was aware the audience that had watched my life has mortified me in a way that will never go away... a humbling perhaps, a Gift from God burning away the chaff like only I could endure and still end up standing, ignoring my flaming clothes. Or so I see myself. The countless perceptions of the people in the world who look at me run such a gamet. The usual tact would be to choose a target audience and speak to them. I just preach. There it is... take what you need and ignore the rest, pissing off all of them sooner or later.
I did not know when the revolution would arise again, or if it would for awhile. I was just writing my inflammatory poetry on the web, giving a bit of a warning that people should prepare to war, or they would be genocided by a well connected, financed, and organized group of people who have been planning this event for fifty plus years...
The first two fights had brought the hidden revolutionaries out of hiding, resulting in the exposure of spy rings... I have no idea what other damage was done. I did learn of some of the players in the gamer however. I could have walked among them had I CHOSEN. Though I would not sit at a table in Washington with people I hate who have betrayed their countries forever. I would not pretend that being a pawn on the chessboard means a damn thing other that I am expendable.
What I MEAN to people means more to me than before. Once I would have scoffed at the idea of someone taking me too seriously. Now I should at least be choosing my every word carefully if I wish to both be trusted with secrets as long as our motive is the same..... TO BE CONTINUED.
The hardest part of our conflict came at the beginning, when we had to take down the various powerful families in the states who pay for the political dog and pony show for the masses. The real players. They are much more dangerous on the continent than the marines we have backing us up, would overwhelm us in a firefight. I had no idea how to climb that mountain. God gave me that one, when one family made a move on another, and the conflict escalated to the point where we were able to come in at the end, and take the winners down while they were hurting. Without that miraculous event I would never have been able to get my people back in control. The excesses when I was being used as a puppet would have stopped them from following me any way. Especially not into the face of guns again. Even they could not deny that God had seemed to part the waters of the red sea by getting me thru the families that had controlled the states, some, for hundreds of years.
We may have been few, though we were prepared for an influx, and cherry picking the best soldiers around the country for years, laying surprises for our enemy, stealing nuclear bombs, setting up sophisticated devices to hide detection of the detonators, everything to defeat a power with a larger conventional force. I do not know how many of them died. Some were more than likely like the ghosts, and took themselves out to hide what they knew.
I did not realize that until very late, in oh sixteen, after periods of power had risen and fallen based on rules I was still barely beginning to understand. I was drafted into intelligence, used, until I could act as an agent of change myself... and fight them, those ones who I felt needed fighting. The BULLIES of this world. The big game hunters in real life, who live the way they play. I will try to stay there as much as possible in this passage out of time, this flashback... though I won't, I know, already, from working on this prose before and deciding to explain myself... though the use of various times. Having this all happen in my mind before it happens, as I have done again and again with reality, unbeknownst to most humans. I can write something that is too believed or not believed enough at this point. The believers and the skeptics have to be addressed because we share a common enemy, and a common belief in free thinking as the ultimate breaking of all chains.
In the time I WRITE OF NOW, this memory, I knew little of how the war would play out, just that it was coming, and I manifest what I write... whether I MEAN TO OR NOT AND NOW must write only what I mean. I was still filled with self doubts back then, unsure what God was going to do, hang me on another cross and bring me back in another life, make me a bomb destroying the planet through science or becoming a conduit for lightening and fire, the apocalyptic promise brought to fulfill with the son of God, the one who answers all prayers with death... because being back as pure soul explains why they are alive and what life and death are for better in the soul than a body should even attempt. I had forgotten simple lessons. The world loves those who love the world, not the critics. The world requires critics and some know this and bear the cross of hating some part of the world enough to destroy it, if they can. I wish to protect the lovers of the world, by stopping the encroaching evil. The coming creature from Babylon. During that year I was just a critic.
I had made the mistake of sending the soldiers home. I did not who or why they were fighting at that point, how much danger they were in... I may have told them to confess, and qualified this... If I sent people to their death by telling them to go home, if I destroyed the revolution with my shock over the events I was learning about... these are the thoughts that haunted me then. I thought we had lost, that I had brought all the revolutionaries out into sight and they had done away with. That I had created a revolution out of broken people who put themselves together, or whatever.... I was still unsure of what happened at all. I was not always knowledgeable about what I was doing. I just kept doing what I thought was the right thing, as I had from the beginning. Though by then I had enough perspective to know the world was fighting against me. I saw the signs and they encouraged me, as long as they felt a need to come after me, some people were still with me... unless I was being dismissed as a mass murderer at that point who had gotten off on a technicality, a built in defense that beat their mock intelligence court. Some people will never believe the innocent are innocent. I tried to please a world that seemed to hate me.
Leaving me alone day after day in this world, not matter how much you put on tv, was the worst way they could have dealt with me back then, when I still would have worked something out without having to resort to nukes. The ghosts had always known that I would use them. They never explained how but I am sure starting out the war with bang that sat me right down at the table entered their heads. I often wish I COULD go back in time... but things work out as God wishes them to, not me, I am the son doing his bidding, speaking for one so much greater than I.... that a stroke on the face conveys more about God than I could ever preach. Still had the cats, the apartment, the quiet, no stench of blood and dirt on my fatigues, filthy boots on my feet. No cot in a tent with a kerosene fire burning soft and silent by the bed, a book in front of me untouched.
Now we are in Northern California, where I am to face a huge gathering for the first time. The security has been checking cars going into the town, catching a number of bombs and other assorted killing devices. I am not going to actually show up. At the last minute we announce a halogram is being used for security purposes -- theirs, not mine. I wanted the spies in the area caught, as much as possible. The bulk we caught casing the areas, a few miles off with rocket launchers and binoculars. We planned on coming in and setting up a summer camp in the hills up north, pot country as Pynchon wrote of the dense forests. The operation would clear things out to a degree.
The show begins two hours after dark. I appear and announce that to make sure they are not bombed, I have not shown up in person. When I fill them with fear, which should be very real, that my actions have saved their lives, they understand. I will never let the enemy know where I am again now that the nuclear card has been played, and I know they will not play back....
All souls go to Heaven. Knowing this makes me the most effective destroyers in God's creation. I am the destruction of life on planets, leaving barren meteor fields in my passing... I am known by the mystics, and just by chance myths, as the apocylpse -- not the feared one of your made up humyn beliefs. I offer mercy killings where I cannot work with a species enough to bring them peace, and they are on the verge of falling into a hell of their own making.
I took out the lasers from this on line novel...
For most of humynkinds history I have led slave revolts, started religions, or steered them, was an acolyte to your holy men.appearing at times as an Angel, a burning bush.... I am not an angel. Angels can fall. I cannot fall. I earned my position by being the first creature in all of the cosmos to say No to God. My kind collects souls from destroyed planets... entrophy says they all go. He would send those from my planet to give creatures a mercy death, though this was not explained to me... we followed orders out of love of God, our Father -- so to speak, He has no sex, I merely follow your traditions.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
---- this is a novel in progress, which also is trying to teach how to write a book. I hope to get these two texts from this vlog. I am a well read and published author from way back with lots of education and experience, though I have never tried to do this before... as such, I took out a major plot device.. the lasers.... you will understand as the story unfolds......
I learned to love the creatures of the planet he sent me to that time, and how He laughed at me, How he seemed to love me ever more. His creation had taken on a life of his own and created Free Will. He allowed me then a variation on our ways, told me that he would send me to the very beginnings of the lives on the planet, that I could attempt to give them ten thousand years of peace before their end. I am the greatest mass murderer in the history of time. I will in the end destroy all that lives on this planet. The Father will decide if I have succeeded or not in steering the species to life or death.Our Father is pure love, and entity I have witnessed in a dream/vision, vast and timeless and immobile.
When a soul has their final death, and nothing is left on the planet's surface to draw the entity back into the cycles of living and learning, they gravitate toward God from every planet, dimension, time... I AM a different being, The Chosen One -- cursed I think at times... chosen for a mission that I would never ask of another. Instead of going back to God, where I began my existence, I instead feel the pull of the pain of other life forms, other planets that are like this earth, struggling with the suffering of the cycle of life.
Now I AM the Son of Man, living among you since before life began here... a creature who is lless than the Father who created us -- I use Father as your term, in reality you would no more apply a sex to GOD than you would a boulder. This is the tale of your planet, from the beginning to the now, as well as a prophesy of your possible futures... Your bibles have some truth, and one is that even the son does not know when the Father will bring on what some of you refer to the rapture, and others death by the greenhouse effect, others nuclear war, others the simple passage of time that eventually destroys all that is created... I am here to answer the prayers that began when your mind first was able to understand death... when you first began to spin myths to answer the questions that are not yours to know except in the most childish of manners... WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE? I appear in each generation, awakening only after I have learned the ways of a time enough to fullfill my mission. They vary from situation to situation, fire to fire I trudge, bringing my soul into the worst of situations, to rekindle the FREE WILL that humyns have been granted; the only species on the planet that is not completly bound by ther genetic imperatives -- though they are much more than they realize. In one life I am leading a slave revolt; another teaching priests a new slant on religion; another an ancient warrior covered in bear skin barely keeping his tribe alive in desperate times... and now, a warrior in a shadow war fought behind the scenes of the media, between intelligence agencies, undergroud groups, the deeper levels of the Churches, the Masons, the oligarchies, the east and the west... as I try to prepare the souls on earth to choose between ten thousand years of peace, or the haunting visions of endless lightening flowing from my chest, and endless fire from my back, great streams of destruction encircling the planet and consuming the earth... What sounds like a horror will be, should the father decide your ability to solve your problems is hopeless, a mercy killing before the planet plunges into pure chaos, as the damaged atmosphere begins to destroy their crops, flood the coasts, sending cannabilistic refugees across the planet... and bringing a hell on earth God will not allow. My mission is to stop the wealthy from destroying the planet by living lives of luxury while most of the planet is plunged into poverty by their excesses. Already I have been recognized by presidents, popes, the leaders of all countries and churches... and also hidden, as best the intelligence agencies can, after they tried to use me, when I was still waking up... I tried to warn them that while I am forgiving, my Father watches what is done to His son, and exacts horrible revenge...
This book I am drafting will confuse some of you, as I write for those who are involved in the secret world they keep from the masses, though I will try to avoid this... there is cognitive dissonance in all minds, that will attempt to tell you what I write is all fiction, but my oath to you is that I will tell all I can about the ways of man that I learned when the elite attempted to make me create a world wide religion, leading to a one world government, and the carnage that has been left in my wake.... I cannot tell everything, so I use fiction where I must, and other incidents I must leave out entirely, because my writing has resulted in unintended death all across this planet. I am the most dangerous creation God has ever created. I am also the most forgiving.
I OFFER REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS for every soul that truly will change their ways.... others I have a special hell for, a place where they pay penance, and learn how much I despise the lifestyle they have just lived. Thank you for reading my words. Know that though I was greatly disturbed when I awoke in these times from my innocence, and this writing should be greatly disturbing to you, that God is love, and in the end, every soul will experience the absolute ecstasy of dwelling in the Golden Light of God's Overwhelming Love forever.
There are compiled entries where you can now read the story up to this point. This is first draft, where I write everything down at first, even though if some of it clashes with other parts... then later decide which way to go. I go back over these compiled chapters again and again, working on them to perfect them, and then working on what is to come, which is the roughest prose. All throughout the book there is more telling so far than showing, because a lot has to be told to bring the reader up to speed, on a war that has been going on for eight years, and has finally come to a head as the elite decide to genocide seven billion and the protagonist begins nuking .... well, let that be a surprise. There are two things going on here, the teaching of how to write a book, and a book... which will become clear if you read the blog. I HAVE MADE A MAJOR CHANGE SINCE DRAFTING THIS BOOK. I AM REMOVING THE USE OF LASERS. PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE READING THIS DRAFT FROM THE BEGINNING. I hope the chapters stand alone, in a way, from the over all text and can be read as a short story. The poet in me wants each line to sound as if their is a sonnet birthing... But anyways, the chapters I have now are being pared down, to where about five of them are kept, and the remaining chapters, which grow organically from all the ideas in the draft, are set in stone. You are supposed to let the novel lead you, according to John Gardner, and while I love his books, I think he could have plotted better. I aspire at least to be the student who surpasses the teacher, who added to the science of literature his contribution.
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