UNCHAINING THE BEASTS OF WAR

As I write this undate to my life, as the creature from another world, another time, another way of being altogether, with motives differEnt than any dreamt in the human mind.   WHY ARE MY RELIGIONS ALWAYS DESTROYED????  LIFE AFTER LIFE I RETURN MERELY TO STEER THEM INTO THE FUTURE, WHEN EVERY HUMAN INVOLVED SEEMS TO FIGHT ME.   THEY GET USED TO THEIR WAYS AND DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE... every animal in the wild, every plant is the same way.  I understand.  Still frustrates.

If I could have perfected human morality do you not think I WOULD HAVE DONE SO IN AN EARLIER LIFE?  There is ONE greater than I...  His rules we all live by.  I am a bit of a God as you are....  I am not that God in human form, I am that God in ways I cannot explain, thinking from many places at once.  The ONE I CALL FATHER SEE'S WHY THINGS HAPPEN THAT I CANNOT EXPLAIN... I have never had an adequate answer for why God does who he does, why a child dies of cancer is a horror to me, as well.  I guess and have before speculated that God see's your soul the same way whether you are held in flesh or not, and the life, and the flesh are somehow meaningless...  not saying they are, we humans are here to create what is easy in the wild, though complex in a world made of lying words...  JUSTICE FOR ALL.

I THINK how we behave in these meat suits is very important, I just do not base my religious thinking on how to judge what a human being is, and what sort are acceptable.  God sent these people into this world for reasons he micromanaged to an insane degree that would not help me to function on my mission by knowing about on this planet.  MANY THINGS ARE LIKE THIS.  Super powers for an example are something I do have.

I can call on horrible storms, and send lightening down from blue skies...  I have not done much with either of these because I HAVE NO WISH TO CAUSE UN-NEEDED DAMAGE.   I GREW THE STORMING AND THE FLOODING THE DAY I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED MARY ANN... a part of me I could not control was filled with the kind of rage I suppress in the darkest parts of my mind, the places I would only go if for some reason I had to kill someone..  A rage shaking from deep within me...  it was stopped by the enemuies reassurances they were not messing with her,  They had me locked up at the time, WERE trying to bring people to meet me, find out what my religion was, and to talk to me about certain things... perhaps they expected to confess some sin.  They believed I had many by then.  People had died.  I started to tell a story in that place once and a guy sent to meet me, who offered his support to my cause though I could hardly see what he could do at the time...  knowing so little..... and he stopped me, thinking I was going to talk about past violence.  In these ways I learned there had been violence.

I was just thinking of the summer when I felt like Christ most of the time and the writing was coming strong, I was walking to the beach in a tye died t shirt, when a black guy who I had often seen sleeping down by the beach, or getting drunk down there... he was just a guy...  nice enough.   He turned to me very seriously and said, HEY, MAN I DO NOT WANT TO DIE.   As if I had any control over that flashed through my mind, I threw out my arms and said, MAN, I AM ALL ABOUT PEACE AND LOVE.    I did know that part of why I was chosen, what my secret partners were doingm, was getting rid of people in the city, the homeless and others disappearing into a hospital and never returning.   SOON ENOUGH HE DISAPPEARED.   I did not know what was happening in my own city, just saw them celebrate me, then turn against me when I made a mistake, said something that was not easy to explain to just anyone, and left me at the mercy of the many who interpret with minds too small to understand what is going on,..


I wanted to write more about the song that was the huge hit on the radio last year, winning all kinds of awards and bringing to stage a new band, who just happened to be singing about athiesm on a station that at one time knew how many considered me a God... my mistakes, based on what I was not told, and my own denial and blood thirsty nature... caused a culling...  of sorts.  IF showing your real face makes an enemy of someone you are better off knowing they are like that than not.


The radiowave technology that could take away human kinds ability to think and control their own bodies is an affront against the greatest gift from God and nature, FREE WILL.  We do not have nearly as much as we would like to believe, but our little bit defines who we are as an individual, the person we have constructed over the years from what we have learned, experienced, had to follow... etc....   is what is causing me the most concern right now.  They must not be able to aim a religion at a country and take their minds over to worship whichever false idol the enemy has created.

I am not sure, but since I would not go along with OPERATION BLUEBEAM, where they expected an actor to play christ, then discoverd to their dismay that God had pulled the ultimate IRONY... HE PUT THE REAL GOD WITHIN THEIR FAKE GOD, ALLOWING ALL THE WORLD TO LEARN THE GOD OF MANY MASKS WAS NOT IN THE GAME.... and the only question left is how many will die standing in his way as he makes his pilgrimages out into his people to spread the new gospel.   MY body is more suited for the Net, and I can be anywhere in the world at once... every prophets dream, and the workings of a God thru scientists who more than likely did not believe he exists.

You all learn of Gods existence in the end.  I used to say that I WAS YOUR DEFENSEE ATTORNEY in the court of God.   This was less metaphor at the time than it has come to be.  Basically it meant that here on earth, you would find your only defense against evil by coming to my tribe.  Some died for this, on both sides.  WELL YOUR DEFENSE ATTORNEY IS SENTENCING YOU ALL TO HEAVEN, or to follow in my journey.   This I will not make any value judgements about.   THE decision to go to other planets and lead souls who have awoken to death to  the idea that theya re all God's children and ending wars between distant creatures still coming into creation from the dust that came from the explosion of the big bang, when God perhaps decides that all have been still enough in the presence of his golden light and love long enough for one season, or perhaps the souls choose themselves, which is more like the God I know...  and off the go, out into the neithers, molecules with the knowledge they are sacred bits of the love that gathered together in space as His face... we look nothing like God.   In the bible I believe the words still wise that say we were created in his image, though I do not take ths literally, as it was not meant to be, but as a metaphor of our capacity to love.

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE PARENTS... to bring us knowledge of his unconditional love.   Unconditional love is a rarity in this world.   A  relatively new phenomena that could not even be affored in a past where there were too many mouths to feed to let the sickly have the food of the healthy.

MY MEMORIES of wars in other lives make pale the ones of this war in every aspect except scope.  The brutal times that come into my mind the most are of war.... because my memories come need to know, and this fleshly life of Scott was not raised in an army, as I have been in too many lives for me think of without seeing huge waves of blood rising up before me thousands of feet and coming for me....   This is another reason God does not burderrn me with too much of the past.  I AM PAIN.  THE MEMORIES I REMEMBER ARE OF PAIN....  because pain is my enemy, and though it fills me, I WILL FIGHT OFF EVERY BIT THAT STILL TRIES TO ENTER, no matter the losing battles... or the lost war.   At least in flesh.  In soul I know too deep to have to think about it that I am a component in a universal plan of GOD that I finally can fathom.


THE WARRIORS I praised back then, at the beginning of this campaign.... where THE REPUBLICANS WERE TRYING TO CLAIM THAT THEY LOVED THE SOLDIERS MORE THAN THE DEMOCRATS AND THE SOLDIERS BELIEVED THEm...  I wrote that anyone who said I did not love the soldiers was in for A BIG FUCKING PROBLEM.   I had a group of powerful people behind me then, inside and outside the law...  the outside the law contingency gave me a lot of the backing I had, though I was oblvious of this until, like I DID EVERYONE when first learning about the atrocities of the shadow war. I attacked them once.... unlike all but one other attack, they reacted.  I learned that day that God had made some creations on this planet for reasons I will never understand, and he has placed them above my reach, or out of my interest.  I state often and emphatically that I will no longer offere disrespect, or expect anything for the kind of prices they were asking.  They made plenty off me, and I have no intention of letting a fight with them derail my mission.   They do not figure in what I plan... except in the respect that I WILL KEEP THIS WORLD FREE FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE MONEY, though I will make the Unons rise again and lead in these matters....  


My missiion was cops and robbers for too long.   I had so much criime done against me in the cab that I used to fantasize about contacting aleins who came to earth, after watching it for hundreds of years, and knew the sin of every human.   Using rays from their ship or whatever, one night they kill all the rapists, known or not... and those who are known to have raped have the evidence of their crime left with their bodies.  Then the next night the pedophiles would die the same way.  THE NEXT might the murderers.   This is where my fantasy ended.  In a way, that way which has happened with so many of my idle fantasies that scientific thinking proves to me I am a deity, or certainly something too powerful for me to imagine;   another one was getting all of the leaders of the world into a stadium to listen to me.  AND WHILE I DID NOT GO TO THE STADIUM WHEN IT WAS OFFERED BECAUSE A CERTAIN SPY STEERED ME AWAY FROM THEM... thank you for nothing Hirtz...  all the leaders learned my name.

In another Irony of God, I ended up being the representative of the EAST, the good Chinese people who have saved my life, and allowed my mission to remain unencumbered, and encourage me, and even send the armed guards who lived up me during those years in Roger's Park, when I was at first gathering the forces to win a great war, and then allowing a set back, a set up of the most base set, bother me to the point I lost fifty pounds.   I watched the support I had go away, aand after being offered a spot at speech writing for Obama and big money, as Biill Moyers told me.... the things people said hurt, so I JUST SHUT DOWN MY EMOTIONS AND WATCHED, putting away all the faces and comments for another day, as I have done many times before when my enemies thought I was weak and attacked me while I was down, only to end up being the hunted in the end.    This time I hated them so....


THOUGH LATER I LEARNED THAT ONCE MORE GOD TOOK WHAT I WANTED AND GAVE ME WHAT I NEED.   The filming of me masterbating, and the thought that I WOULD do thiis with chiildren and nuns and the entire world as they viewed me as a deity or a leader or even an ally or money making asset, caused me to finally be criticized... and from this came the truth.  Before when everyone loved me they told me nothing.   THE DEATHS THEN CAME FLOWING OVER A WATERFALL, ONE AFTER ANOTHER,  HITTING THE ROCKS AT THE BOTTOM, TEARING OPEN, limbs torn askew, as their bodies fill the river, slowing the flow of bodies to a trickle...  yet on they come, on and on the dead flow over, piling up at the bottom in putrid piles.  one day they were naming the things that had been done in the war, atrocities that their one instance represented entire movements...   a fact that was slow on dawning me, as my mind tried to find anyway of telling my narrative to myself in a way that did not involve the death and torture and slavery that I was learning about.

I was able to refuse the money offered in oh seven, and the money offered in oh twelve by the government, and in both ways stayed free.  Once you accept money, you accept the persons reasons for doing things, you say these vile acts compare to money.  They do not.  During this time, I LEARNED ABOUT THE SLAUGHTER OF ONE GROUP which had been perpetuated by my soldiers, without my knowledge.   I knew they had taken in a lot of money in ways I DID NOT APPROVE OF OR KNOW ABOUT AND AGAIN STOPPED AS SOON AS YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THEM.... AND unless you have found this to be overwhelmingly repeated biit of my story, you are not getting this book at all.   ANYWAYS, I TOLD THEM TO GIVE MONEY TO THE PEOPLE EFFECTED BY THE GENOCIDE... I was accused of putting a price on peoples lives.  I told them, "NO, I just know there is nothing I can do really, but giving people money  at such times wiill make theiir lives easier, and if that is the best I can do, I MUST DO IT."   This is pretty standard law.

I am still getting to the story that this entire entry is about.  A time when I was down, after they used the footage of me, masterbating -- while at the same time filming in my bathroom as well, so they had seen everything before this... my bedroom was covered as well.  So I fought back by trying to live my life as I would if they were not watching... and a bare life with no artifice is not always a pretty thing.

There was no editing my life.   ANYWAYS, sarah silverman wrote on christmas to get at me, JESUS IS SEXUALLY FLUID.   I wrote about having bisexual experiences in my life, though I am too heterosexual to contemplate being gay, and too content in my present relationship with a woman to contemplate men, whom I have never seen as sexy, like I do woman... just got some blow jobs in my time for the most part.   I will never apologize for this period of my life.  Many wanted me to hide it, or took it as an affront to Christ, others found it liberating, the gay and bi and liberal and all who cared about human rights above the prejudices of out dated, barely there references in the bible... a bible filled with the prejudices of men, subjegating first their wives, and then their communities to their hatreds.   OTHER cultures, like the native americans, had gay marriage hundreds of years ago.